Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 12

lilac_jive · 03-09-2009, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate the great

Did you not get the joke? I can't tell from your post.

I know he is a billionaire. As a result of the recession he's now a millionaire (that's the joke.)

Oh....right....

RWood · 03-09-2009, 09:19 PM

Like the old chestnut about how to be a millionaire in this economy -- start as a multimillionaire. Same joke, different route.

Somewhat like, You can always tell a Harvard man, you just can't tell him much.

lilac_jive · 03-09-2009, 09:22 PM

Something funny Warren Buffett recently said:

"Tony and I feel like two hungry mosquitoes in a nudist camp," Buffett said of Geico in his annual letter to shareholders. "Juicy targets are everywhere."

pilotbob · 03-09-2009, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate the great

DO you want to know how bad the recession is?

I just read about millionaire Warren Buffett.

Is he that singer that likes margaritas?

BOb

Sparrow · 03-12-2009, 06:08 PM

The Flintstones movie has been released on DVD in the Middle East.
The folks in Riyadh don't want to watch it, but the ones in Abu Dhabi do.

electristan · 03-12-2009, 06:51 PM

This is a great thread, thanks to all. Here the one my girlfriend always tell to make me smile.

How do you make a donkey drink?

Spoiler:

RWood · 03-13-2009, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by electristan

This is a great thread, thanks to all. Here the one my girlfriend always tell to make me smile.

How do you make a donkey drink?

Spoiler:

You have a very sick girlfriend. She's a keeper.

Over · 03-13-2009, 02:24 PM

montsnmags · 03-13-2009, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

You have a very sick girlfriend. She's a keeper.

We used to know that (with appropriate variation) as one of the many baby jokes. Quite sick, yes.

Cheers,
Marc

desertgrandma · 03-14-2009, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by electristan

This is a great thread, thanks to all. Here the one my girlfriend always tell to make me smile.

How do you make a donkey drink?

Spoiler:

desertgrandma · 03-14-2009, 02:06 PM

Sex in the Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him of this habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild,screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft,wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,'

She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

'I'll explain the toy . You explain the kids.'

RWood · 03-14-2009, 05:30 PM

Sent to me by an old high schooll friend that I have not seen in many years. She wrote:

”Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”

Nate the great · 03-14-2009, 05:31 PM

My house has metal siding, with metal trim on the corners. Squirrels like to climb up the trim. They make an odd clickety clackity sound.

I'm not joking; I saw one do it.

xianfox · 03-14-2009, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate the great

My house has metal siding, with metal trim on the corners. Squirrels like to climb up the trim. They make an odd clickety clackity sound.

I'm not joking; I saw one do it.

One of the squirrels in my father's neighborhood likes to climb up the inside of his downspouts. Makes a hell of a lot of noise.

Nate the great · 03-14-2009, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xianfox

One of the squirrels in my father's neighborhood likes to climb up the inside of his downspouts. Makes a hell of a lot of noise.

That's what I thought mine were doing until I saw one climbing up the trim.

03-12-2009, 06:51 PM	#171
electristan newbie reader Posts: 102 Karma: 2122142 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oslo Device: reMarkable, Boox T68, Kobo Mini, Nook STR, Sony PRS-505	This is a great thread, thanks to all. Here the one my girlfriend always tell to make me smile. How do you make a donkey drink? Spoiler: You put him in a blender

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03-09-2009, 09:19 PM	#167
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Like the old chestnut about how to be a millionaire in this economy -- start as a multimillionaire. Same joke, different route. Somewhat like, You can always tell a Harvard man, you just can't tell him much.

03-09-2009, 09:22 PM	#168
lilac_jive Grand Sorcerer Posts: 5,870 Karma: 27376 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Device: PRS-505	Something funny Warren Buffett recently said: "Tony and I feel like two hungry mosquitoes in a nudist camp," Buffett said of Geico in his annual letter to shareholders. "Juicy targets are everywhere."

03-12-2009, 06:08 PM	#170
Sparrow Wizard Posts: 4,395 Karma: 1358132 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Device: Palm TX, CyBook Gen3	The Flintstones movie has been released on DVD in the Middle East. The folks in Riyadh don't want to watch it, but the ones in Abu Dhabi do.

03-13-2009, 02:24 PM	#173
Over Wizard Posts: 1,462 Karma: 6061516 Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cascais, Portugal Device: Kindle PW, Samsung Galaxy Note Pro 12.2", OnePlus 6

03-14-2009, 02:06 PM	#176
desertgrandma Enjoying the show.... Posts: 14,270 Karma: 10462841 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Arizona Device: A K1, Kindle Paperwhite, an Ipod, IPad2, Iphone, an Ipad Mini & macAir	Sex in the Dark There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him of this habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild,screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft,wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!' The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: 'I'll explain the toy . You explain the kids.'

03-14-2009, 05:30 PM	#177
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Sent to me by an old high schooll friend that I have not seen in many years. She wrote: ”Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”

03-14-2009, 05:31 PM	#178
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	My house has metal siding, with metal trim on the corners. Squirrels like to climb up the trim. They make an odd clickety clackity sound. I'm not joking; I saw one do it.