Seriously thoughtful Are you afraid of children?

[captkjaneway]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

It's an unfortunate fact of life these days.
Once upon a time it was ok to ask a child if they were lost/why distressed; but these days I find it harder, but that's not just me, also my wife....

Luckily for me children and I have a strange mutual dislike for each other so I do not have as many issues.

But linking to your post Geoff, an ex-work colleague who was as lovely as you could get, had a distressing incident in his local shopping centre when he and his wife came across a lost little boy. My friends immediate reaction as a dad and grandad, was to hold the little boys hand as they went to find the information booth.

Cue the frantic mother, who had taken 10 minutes to realise her son had wandered off, screaming at my friend, and then the whole place turning to see my male friend hold the hand of a crying and distressed 10 year old boy!

My niece, who is 7, got a little sunburnt last Summer, (a difficult thing to do back in the UK) because her teachers/school nurse were not allowed to put any cream on her or any of the other kids for fear of reprisals. The same goes for kids that fall over, are not allowed to be comforted or have cream applied to grazes.

It has gone mad!

[Iphinome]

I never allow children to be alone with me, I have no idea what they might do. They all have a secret plan to replace us one day you know. Never trust them.

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by ficbot

Well, I teach kindergarten, and even if I keep my hands off the children, they don't always keep their hands off me! I have had children---often---just come up and fling their arms around me for a hug. I have had them crawl onto my lap if I am sitting close enough. I often have to hold their hand if we are going down the stairs because some of them aren't too steady

That said, with my older students, I definitely do not get them doing those things, and I definitely do not initiate. As far as hard-core rules, the only thing we have been specifically told is that if a child has a bathroom accident, we don't have to change them. Usually, we do---they wear uniforms at our school and there is a cupboard full of spares, and none of us really want to leave a kid sitting in that if we don't have to. But the school 'policy' is to call the parents and ask them to come and change their kid. If we do find ourselves in a situation where we assisting with such a thing, we've been told to leave the bathroom door ajar so we are not alone with a child, and I know our two male teachers are especially cognizant of this.

I had one situation where it was after school and I was running after-care. We had a child that year who was chronic with this sort of thing, and it came up during my day to do this. Our admin was thankfully still there and she stayed with me while I helped him change, but if she had not been there---since it was after hours and other teachers were not around---then yeah, in that case, I am afraid I would have let him sit in it. I am just not comfortable with that sort of situation to be on my own with it. And everybody---even the child's mother---would have understood that and not been upset.

that would have been awkward for me. more often than not I worked well over an hour away from my kids

[lene1949]

I know that the situation surrounding children has gotten worse, but this is really sad...

I work with intellectually disabled men.. We are only one person in the house at any time... We are not allowed to give them a hug, and they need one just as everyone else, maybe even more, because of their mental age...

In my opinion there should always be 2 people working in a house like this... One person got suspended, because of what another person perceived to be happening...

[caleb72]

I do feel this a bit. I'm not particularly fond of children in a more general sense, but on an individual level I'm likely to smile at a small child that is staring at me (as young children often do).

However, if the parent sees me I often feel self-conscious - as if I'm doing something wrong.

It's a ridiculous sense of guilt, much like when I'm walking past a security guard at the entrance of a store. I never shoplift but I somehow feel the guilt regardless.

Regards
Caleb

[DixieGal]

I ooze a friendly happy vibe, and so does Tim. Kids are drawn to us both. I'm always hugging strange kids, and Tim shakes hands with them. And the trick with infants where you let them grip your thumbs and you tickle their palms. Guaranteed giggles!

And I grab toddlers making a break for it all the time. They see an opening elevator door and make a dash for freedom.

I got a lot of experience during the decades while working at a children's hospital. Hug it if it cries. Grab it if it runs. And don't be afraid.

[thrawn_aj]

Originally Posted by Exer

I came across this article that was written a few days ago. It seems that a lot of people have similar thoughts these days. I'm the same way, I can barely even bring myself to smile at a kid these days, for fear their parents will think I'm some kind of creep.

Thanks for that link (well, thanks for giving me nightmares, but you know what I mean). I found one of the comments there quite chilling:

The huge effort to integrate women into the world of work is matched by the huge effort to block men's integration into the world of children.

In the end, the only safe option for men will be to do what the bricklayer did - do not approach a child, no matter what. I've read the same kind of story (as the man who rescued the kids from the car) in the context of a child lost at a mall and another walking around looking lost in a supermarket - in both cases, the good Samaritans suffered humiliating experiences due to the ungrateful (and negligent) mothers instantly calling the cops). They should realize that all they are doing is creating a society where no man will ever attempt to help their child in times of need. Good job shooting themselves in the foot!