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Old 07-17-2020, 06:22 AM   #11056
drjd
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Quote:
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I would have gone with "Poetic Justice."
I must have written about writers, instead.
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Old 07-17-2020, 06:27 AM   #11057
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What do you call an Asian guy with a video recorder?

Phil Ming.
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Old 07-18-2020, 06:35 AM   #11058
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Brutus was at a buffet. When he took a roll, Julius Caesar said, 'Eat two, Brute.'
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Old 07-19-2020, 01:38 AM   #11059
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Quote:
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I'm writing a book about poets who have been jailed.
It's called prose and cons.
Don't do the rhyme if you can't do the time!
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Old 07-19-2020, 06:09 AM   #11060
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A Sunday School teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he with just two worms?"
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Old 07-21-2020, 05:52 AM   #11061
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So two typefaces are in a strip club...

one says to the other, 'damn, that's some fine print.'
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Old 07-22-2020, 06:26 AM   #11062
drjd
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Turns out the estimates on the energy efficiency of windmills were way over blown.
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Old 07-22-2020, 10:00 AM   #11063
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cromag View Post
I would have gone with "Poetic Justice."
If they have early release, is this "Poetic License"?
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Old 07-23-2020, 06:03 AM   #11064
drjd
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I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing...

If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
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Old 07-24-2020, 06:12 AM   #11065
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A child’s observation:
If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.
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Old 07-25-2020, 05:56 AM   #11066
drjd
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There is an old story about the data center of the future.
This data center runs 24/7 with only a man and a dog.
The man's job is to feed the dog.
The dog's job is to make sure the man does not touch the computer.
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Old 07-26-2020, 05:47 AM   #11067
drjd
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What happened if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water!
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Old 07-27-2020, 12:23 AM   #11068
cromag
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An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor, and a statistician walk into a bar ...

I'm kidding! They're too smart for that!
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Old 07-28-2020, 06:56 AM   #11069
drjd
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A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."

The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. Yep. 25 cents.

The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."
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Old 07-29-2020, 06:09 AM   #11070
drjd
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I’ve got a friend who’s butler lost his left arm.
Serves him right.
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