11-25-2012, 10:38 PM | #5671 |
Opsimath
Posts: 12,344
Karma: 187123287
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
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11-26-2012, 03:46 PM | #5672 |
Guru
Posts: 802
Karma: 4727110
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Sweden
Device: Iriver Story
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Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
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11-26-2012, 04:54 PM | #5673 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
Karma: 100500000
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "Instruction manuals" |
11-26-2012, 06:52 PM | #5674 |
Opsimath
Posts: 12,344
Karma: 187123287
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
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I told my wife i wanted something that goes 0 to 190 in under 5 seconds for Christmas...and she bought me a scale.
Stitchawl |
11-27-2012, 05:53 AM | #5675 |
Reborn Paper User
Posts: 8,616
Karma: 15446734
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Que Nada
Device: iPhone8, iPad Air
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11-27-2012, 01:59 PM | #5676 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
Karma: 100500000
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?" "What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me." |
11-27-2012, 02:01 PM | #5677 |
Nameless Being
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How to flummox a Millennial?
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11-27-2012, 02:42 PM | #5678 |
Guru
Posts: 823
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Device: iPhone 5s
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11-27-2012, 03:00 PM | #5679 |
Basculocolpic
Posts: 4,356
Karma: 20181319
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Sweden
Device: Kindle 3 WiFi, Kindle 4SO, Kindle for Android, Sony PRS-350 and PRS-T1
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The Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says "We don't allow Higgs boson in here. The Higgs boson says, "But without me how can you have mass?"
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11-27-2012, 05:52 PM | #5680 |
Opsimath
Posts: 12,344
Karma: 187123287
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
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11-28-2012, 12:26 AM | #5681 |
Reading and reading
Posts: 582
Karma: 8250144
Join Date: Oct 2010
Device: Infibeam Pi, iPod Touch 4G, iPad Air 2, iPad mini 2, Oneplus One
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A man's wife is staring at herself in the mirror and frowning. She turns to her husband and says "Honey, I feel fat, old, and ugly. I could really use a compliment right now." To which the husband replies "Darling, your eyesight is impeccable."
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11-28-2012, 07:30 AM | #5682 |
Guru
Posts: 802
Karma: 4727110
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Sweden
Device: Iriver Story
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His funeral is on Friday.
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11-28-2012, 08:14 AM | #5683 | |
Opsimath
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
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Quote:
Stitchawl |
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11-28-2012, 09:23 AM | #5684 |
Close to the Edit!
Posts: 9,797
Karma: 267994408
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
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I only know seven cowboy jokes
But they are magnificent |
11-28-2012, 09:28 AM | #5685 |
Grand Sorcerer
Posts: 19,226
Karma: 67780237
Join Date: Jul 2011
Device: none
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Should I assume that was the eighth one?
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