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Old 02-21-2013, 03:16 PM   #6136
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.
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Old 02-21-2013, 04:42 PM   #6137
pilotbob
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I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.
I have a huge retirement fund currently being held at many Las Vegas casinos... some day I will go there and cash out.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:45 PM   #6138
yvanleterrible
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I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough...
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Originally Posted by pilotbob View Post
I always wondered how they fit a seal in those boxes.
Well, actually those crackers were made to feed several animals. The seal got them first.
Wait! Could it be that the cracker shaped like a seal was broken?
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:34 PM   #6139
pilotbob
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Wait! Could it be that the cracker shaped like a seal was broken?
Sure, that's exactly the joke. I just tried to coat tail.

BOb
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Old 02-22-2013, 06:42 PM   #6140
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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I hate it when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
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Old 02-23-2013, 06:29 AM   #6141
orlok
Close to the Edit!
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If anyone's interested, I'm selling one of my eggs!

(FYI it's been fertilized, is six years old and he is called Dave)
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Old 02-23-2013, 01:13 PM   #6142
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Seeing a spider isn't the problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
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Old 02-24-2013, 06:48 AM   #6143
orlok
Close to the Edit!
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"What do we get from the hen?" asks the teacher.

"Eggs," says Little Susie.

"Good. And what do we get from the sheep?"

"Wool," says Little Susie.

"Good. And what do we get from the cow?"

"Homework," says Little Johnny.
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Old 02-24-2013, 06:51 AM   #6144
Bilbo1967
Not scared!
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Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

Spoiler:
Because proper tea is theft!
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Old 02-24-2013, 01:08 PM   #6145
PeterT
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Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

Spoiler:
Because proper tea is theft!
Booboo booooo
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:25 PM   #6146
samhy
Wizard
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Seeing a spider isn't the problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
So true if it's a big one
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:49 PM   #6147
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one, what's your plan?
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:52 PM   #6148
odiakkoh
Guru
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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one, what's your plan?
Die without my pants around my ankles lol.
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:58 AM   #6149
Bilbo1967
Not scared!
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Booboo booooo
You're welcome!
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:05 AM   #6150
Bilbo1967
Not scared!
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A man and his girlfriend are out window-shopping one day. At a jewellers, the girl sees a beautiful gold necklace and points it out to her boyfriend. He immediately throws a brick through the jewellers window and presents her with the necklace as they run away.

After their escape, they happen to walk past a high class clothes emporium. The girl points out a rather beautiful and expensive mink coat in the window display. Again, the boy throws a brick through the window and grabs the coat. The girl dons it as they run from the scene.

Later that same day, still unapprehended, they walk past an electronics shop and the girl points out an expensive tablet computer in the window. The boy turns to her and says;

Spoiler:
"Be sensible darling, do you think I'm made of bricks?!"
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