01-15-2013, 08:57 AM | #5926 |
binomial: homo legentem
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..."almost four in 10"...
First, it irks me when an article mixes the spelling out of a number and a numeric like this, but that is beside the point. If almost 4 in 10 is a majority, does that mean that almost 4 is really somewhere around 1.5 to 2? |
01-15-2013, 09:23 AM | #5927 |
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"four in 10" is a newspaper standard from what I know. Anything over nine becomes the numbers, anything less is spelled. I try to follow the general rule for myself to spell anything less than one hundred. I also try to limit contractions in everything I type when I think about it.
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01-15-2013, 10:57 AM | #5928 |
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01-15-2013, 06:39 PM | #5929 |
Is that a sandwich?
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One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels.
The crew’s foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation. The supervisor radios back and says, “Don’t worry, we’ll send some shovels. Just lean on each other until they arrive.” |
01-17-2013, 02:19 AM | #5930 |
Is that a sandwich?
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A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner.” No one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off the corner!” Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?” "Pretty good, ” replied the veteran, “especially since this was a bus stop.” |
01-17-2013, 06:06 AM | #5931 |
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Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’ The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6) It is always available as needed. And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote: 7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. He got an A. |
01-17-2013, 06:07 PM | #5932 |
Is that a sandwich?
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There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was plagued by local kids who would sneak into his patch at night and steal watermelons.
After some careful thought he comes up with a clever idea that he thinks will scare the kids away for sure. So he makes up a sign and posts it in the field. The sign says, “Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been poisoned.” The farmer goes to inspect his field the next morning and finds a new sign that says, “Warning, now two of the watermelons in this field have been poisoned.” |
01-17-2013, 11:07 PM | #5933 | |
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Quote:
We didn't stop to look and just high tailed it out of there as fast as we could. I ran into the river not realising how deep it was and disappeared under the water leaving two melons bobbing about in the river. It's really hard to swim to the boat and try and get two water melons to follow you while you're panicking about being used as target practice by a melon farmer. |
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01-18-2013, 10:28 AM | #5934 | |
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In the words of the great Mark Twain:
Quote:
Complete article at http://www.twainquotes.com/19070512.html Last edited by Pablo; 01-18-2013 at 10:37 AM. |
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01-19-2013, 01:51 AM | #5935 |
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A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper. Stitchawl |
01-19-2013, 06:05 AM | #5936 | ||
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I have recently been indulging myself in the mystery genre of the last century, and have read John Dickson Carr's excellent essay "The Grandest Game in the World", where Carr writes about the detective fiction in genereal and its development from ca. 1900 to 1946, and of his sympathies in the detective fiction. Carr writes very humorously about the mystery genre in the 1920s and 1930s, and while this essay isn't really a joke (Carr writes explicitly that the following is not written in ridicule) I personally got a good laugh from it since Carr's descriptions are spot on, and wanted to quote some parts of the essay here. The essay itself is copyrighted, but since this is merely a small extract, I think fair use covers this.
First, let's hear what Carr has to say about the typical mysteries from the 1920 "British" school of mysteries: Quote:
Quote:
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01-19-2013, 06:27 AM | #5937 |
Opsimath
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01-19-2013, 06:48 AM | #5938 |
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How could I forget about Philip Marlowe
Almost all the scenes in Carr's "recap" is present in the Marlowe novels. Substitute "crystal flask" for "dubloon" and you have "The High Window". And the murders in all the apartmenthouses are also present in a Marlowe-novel, but I forget which. As for the others you mention, I must admit that they are unknown to me. Are they good reading material? |
01-19-2013, 07:29 AM | #5939 | |
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Quote:
Stitchawl |
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01-19-2013, 07:41 AM | #5940 |
Close to the Edit!
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My favourite detective series ever . I once re-read the whole series (34 books at the time - now over 40) back-to-back.
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