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Old 08-06-2008, 08:44 AM   #121
GeoffC
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Old 08-06-2008, 08:52 AM   #122
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I didn't know you worked for Hollywood!
Who do you think keeps putting monkeys in movies, no matter how bad the movie?

(Incidentally, sorry about Jack Black - I told the guys in the lab it was wrong to implant human speech centres and a voice box in a shaved gorilla with permanent brain damage, but they all said "Leave the science to us". Shows what you get when you employ scientists from the Mary Shelley University of Scientific Discovery, doesn't it? Oh, Will Ferrell is not their fault though - he's just an unfunny moron that bigger morons keep putting in movies that even bigger morons keep going to see.)

I've got so many fingers in so many pies, I feel like Vishnu at a pie-eating contest. I'm not going to have to buy groceries for a week (so many fingers to lick clean).

Cheers,
Marc
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Old 08-06-2008, 09:30 AM   #123
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Think you're kidding? The funniest thing about this story is that it is perfectly suited for a Special Weekend Movie Presentation on the Sci-Fi Channel (with DVD and blu-ray release a week later)! And I'm sure most of those direct-to-TV movies they play now get less thought to their scripts than I gave to this one.
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Old 08-06-2008, 10:25 AM   #124
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... More likely, M. Night Shamalamabingbang or however he spells it ...

Terry Gilliam. Definitely Terry Gilliam.

Inspired, truly inspired. With Michael Pallin as our hero.

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Think you're kidding? The funniest thing about this story is that it is perfectly suited for a Special Weekend Movie Presentation on the Sci-Fi Channel (with DVD and blu-ray release a week later)! And I'm sure most of those direct-to-TV movies they play now get less thought to their scripts than I gave to this one. .
I absolutely LOVE those made-for-scifi movies! I record them all and just glory in watching them. I was watching part of "Dragon War" last night, recorded from Saturday, and the only thing missing was Lance Henrickson. My rule of thumb for how marvelously cheesy the movie is going to be is this: The longer the opening credits, the cheesier the movie. And I LOVE cheesy scifi movies.
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Old 08-06-2008, 10:56 AM   #125
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My rule of thumb for how marvelously cheesy the movie is going to be is this: The longer the opening credits, the cheesier the movie. And I LOVE cheesy scifi movies.
The opening credits have to be long... that's usually the only part that 100% of viewers will sit through! Once they see the first scene, 90% of them jump for the remote to find old Dragonball Z reruns.

The only way I'll sit through cheesy sci-fi is if there's a guy and two 'bots tearing it up in the front row...
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Old 08-06-2008, 11:02 AM   #126
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The opening credits have to be long... that's usually the only part that 100% of viewers will sit through! Once they see the first scene, 90% of them jump for the remote to find old Dragonball Z reruns.

The only way I'll sit through cheesy sci-fi is if there's a guy and two 'bots tearing it up in the front row...
Which is how you should write this story for your website.
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Old 08-06-2008, 11:03 AM   #127
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The opening credits have to be long... that's usually the only part that 100% of viewers will sit through! Once they see the first scene, 90% of them jump for the remote to find old Dragonball Z reruns.

The only way I'll sit through cheesy sci-fi is if there's a guy and two 'bots tearing it up in the front row...

I miss MST3000 also. They would have a rolicking good time with the SciFi Channel movies. Lance Henrickson rules! I think he shoots all of his movies in his backyard up against an overgrown hedge, because the landscapes seem to all be the same.
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Old 08-06-2008, 12:14 PM   #128
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I miss MST3000 also. They would have a rolicking good time with the SciFi Channel movies.
I'm sure those guys tune into Sci-Fi every so often (like, every weekend) and say to themselves, "I think we got outta the game too soon." They could rename the show MSTV3K."

Sung to the tune of "Land of the Lost":

Joel and his bot-buddies, doing routine channel-surfing,
Found the cheeeeesiest programs... ever knowwwwnnnnnn....
Last edited by Steven Lyle Jordan; 08-06-2008 at 12:21 PM.
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Old 08-06-2008, 01:32 PM   #129
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<snicker>

I'm too tired today to find a youtube version of "Land of the Lost" so those poor deprived souls who are the wrong age or live in the wrong country can see it... one of Ben Bova's more amazing projects, to be sure.
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Old 08-06-2008, 01:39 PM   #130
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Was Bova involved? WOW! I had no idea!

And now the song is running in a loop in my head, but it's OK because I like the song!
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Old 08-06-2008, 02:08 PM   #131
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Joel and his bot-buddies, doing routine channel-surfing,
Found the cheeeeesiest programs... ever knowwwwnnnnnn....
(door to TV room slams behind them, trapping them in)
Cheeaap Chinese batteries... die in their remote,
Forcing them to watch until they moan!

On the Sciiiiiiii--- Fiiiii--- Sci-Fi Channel!
On the Sciiiiiiii--- Fiiiii--- Sci-Fi Channel!

(wrestler on ECW roars in background)
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Old 08-06-2008, 02:21 PM   #132
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::groan::
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Old 08-06-2008, 04:24 PM   #133
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Joel and his bot-buddies, doing routine channel-surfing,
Found the cheeeeesiest programs... ever knowwwwnnnnnn....
(door to TV room slams behind them, trapping them in)
Cheeaap Chinese batteries... die in their remote,
Forcing them to watch until they moan!

On the Sciiiiiiii--- Fiiiii--- Sci-Fi Channel!
On the Sciiiiiiii--- Fiiiii--- Sci-Fi Channel!

(wrestler on ECW roars in background)
There are times when one is glad one doesn't get the Sci-Fi Channel...
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Old 08-06-2008, 06:35 PM   #134
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Was Bova involved? WOW! I had no idea!
Yep. Listed in the credits.

I rather liked the sleestak stories. I don't think I saw all of them, though, so I'm not sure where they were going.
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Old 08-09-2008, 08:32 PM   #135
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For anyone who's interested, 6 of One... is now available on the SJB, with all unutterably silly comments included, in the usual multiple formats (including ePub). Enjoy!

(PS: Working on a cover...)
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