Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 738

drjd · 07-17-2020, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

I would have gone with "Poetic Justice."

I must have written about writers, instead.

drjd · 07-17-2020, 06:27 AM

What do you call an Asian guy with a video recorder?

Phil Ming.

drjd · 07-18-2020, 06:35 AM

Brutus was at a buffet. When he took a roll, Julius Caesar said, 'Eat two, Brute.'

cromag · 07-19-2020, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

I'm writing a book about poets who have been jailed.
It's called prose and cons.

Don't do the rhyme if you can't do the time!

drjd · 07-19-2020, 06:09 AM

A Sunday School teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he with just two worms?"

drjd · 07-21-2020, 05:52 AM

So two typefaces are in a strip club...

one says to the other, 'damn, that's some fine print.'

drjd · 07-22-2020, 06:26 AM

Turns out the estimates on the energy efficiency of windmills were way over blown.

BookCat · 07-22-2020, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

I would have gone with "Poetic Justice."

If they have early release, is this "Poetic License"?

drjd · 07-23-2020, 06:03 AM

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing...

If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

drjd · 07-24-2020, 06:12 AM

A child’s observation:
If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.

drjd · 07-25-2020, 05:56 AM

There is an old story about the data center of the future.
This data center runs 24/7 with only a man and a dog.
The man's job is to feed the dog.
The dog's job is to make sure the man does not touch the computer.

drjd · 07-26-2020, 05:47 AM

What happened if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water!

cromag · 07-27-2020, 12:23 AM

An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor, and a statistician walk into a bar ...

I'm kidding! They're too smart for that!

drjd · 07-28-2020, 06:56 AM

A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."

The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. Yep. 25 cents.

The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."

drjd · 07-29-2020, 06:09 AM

I’ve got a friend who’s butler lost his left arm.
Serves him right.

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07-17-2020, 06:27 AM	#11057
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What do you call an Asian guy with a video recorder? Phil Ming.

07-18-2020, 06:35 AM	#11058
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Brutus was at a buffet. When he took a roll, Julius Caesar said, 'Eat two, Brute.'

07-19-2020, 06:09 AM	#11060
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A Sunday School teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he with just two worms?"

07-21-2020, 05:52 AM	#11061
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	So two typefaces are in a strip club... one says to the other, 'damn, that's some fine print.'

07-22-2020, 06:26 AM	#11062
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Turns out the estimates on the energy efficiency of windmills were way over blown.

07-23-2020, 06:03 AM	#11064
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing... If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

07-24-2020, 06:12 AM	#11065
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A child’s observation: If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.

07-25-2020, 05:56 AM	#11066
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	There is an old story about the data center of the future. This data center runs 24/7 with only a man and a dog. The man's job is to feed the dog. The dog's job is to make sure the man does not touch the computer.

07-26-2020, 05:47 AM	#11067
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What happened if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water!

07-27-2020, 12:23 AM	#11068
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 24,303 Karma: 459220161 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor, and a statistician walk into a bar ... I'm kidding! They're too smart for that!

07-28-2020, 06:56 AM	#11069
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. Yep. 25 cents. The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."

07-29-2020, 06:09 AM	#11070
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I’ve got a friend who’s butler lost his left arm. Serves him right.