A true story (mostly)

slayda · 02-28-2019, 02:20 PM

Revenge
AKA
Learning a Lesson
Circa 1982

”B-“ for a 14 hour take home exam, especially when I work faster
and more accurately than anyone in the class. This is insulting. With
steam coming out my ears and murder in my heart, I seek the professor.
Of course the coward is nowhere to be found.

I stew over this injustice for two weeks. He's never in his office.
Then one day I notice his locked office door has a one inch crack at the
bottom. I wonder if he's hiding in there so I kneel down to peek through
the crack. No one. But I notice he has a Persian rug on his office floor. A
malevolent idea begins to form.

For a week I add details to my planned revenge. I'll collect a few of
those items my Dachshunds leave in my yard for me to step on when I'm
not paying attention, put them in a zip-lock bag with a little urine and let
it marinate in the sun to get nice and mushy. On second thought, maybe
I'd better use distilled water. No incriminating DNA that way.

I could take it to school late on Friday when nobody's there to let it
ooze under his door. Maybe I'd better double bag it to be safe. And
choosing a three day weekend would give it more time to "stink-in”
before discovery. Maybe stomping on the bags to make the "Essence de
Merde" squirt violently onto that Persian rug would be an improvement.
I'd open the bags just prior to stomping. Hate to experience blowback.

A final refinement would be to enclose the bags inside the school
newspaper. Poetic justice. Those Persian rugs, even the cheap ones, are
expensive. I doubt he'd ever get the smell out. (Rubbing hands together
in glee.) Revenge is so sweet.

***

After all this time and detailed planning, my anger has subsided and I
realize a wonderful truth ... planning revenge in intimate detail is
sufficient and results in much less jail time.

— — —

So I got a B- in a technical course. I think I got an A+ in Ethics. What
do you think?
————————

If you found this interesting, you might like my Sci-Fi novelette “Joe Meets Sasquatch & Nanobots” Joe Slayd story #1. It can be found on Amazon for $0.99 as a MOBI ebook. It includes two more mostly true stories from my past and the first chapter of “Joe's Unexpected Soul Mate”, Joe Slayd story #2.

Eventually I will have other mostly true stories from my past if anyone is interested.

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02-28-2019, 02:20 PM	#1
slayda Retired & reading more! Posts: 2,764 Karma: 1884247 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North Alabama, USA Device: Kindle 1, iPad Air 2, iPhone 6S+, Kobo Aura One	A true story (mostly) Revenge AKA Learning a Lesson Circa 1982 ”B-“ for a 14 hour take home exam, especially when I work faster and more accurately than anyone in the class. This is insulting. With steam coming out my ears and murder in my heart, I seek the professor. Of course the coward is nowhere to be found. I stew over this injustice for two weeks. He's never in his office. Then one day I notice his locked office door has a one inch crack at the bottom. I wonder if he's hiding in there so I kneel down to peek through the crack. No one. But I notice he has a Persian rug on his office floor. A malevolent idea begins to form. For a week I add details to my planned revenge. I'll collect a few of those items my Dachshunds leave in my yard for me to step on when I'm not paying attention, put them in a zip-lock bag with a little urine and let it marinate in the sun to get nice and mushy. On second thought, maybe I'd better use distilled water. No incriminating DNA that way. I could take it to school late on Friday when nobody's there to let it ooze under his door. Maybe I'd better double bag it to be safe. And choosing a three day weekend would give it more time to "stink-in” before discovery. Maybe stomping on the bags to make the "Essence de Merde" squirt violently onto that Persian rug would be an improvement. I'd open the bags just prior to stomping. Hate to experience blowback. A final refinement would be to enclose the bags inside the school newspaper. Poetic justice. Those Persian rugs, even the cheap ones, are expensive. I doubt he'd ever get the smell out. (Rubbing hands together in glee.) Revenge is so sweet. *** After all this time and detailed planning, my anger has subsided and I realize a wonderful truth ... planning revenge in intimate detail is sufficient and results in much less jail time. — — — So I got a B- in a technical course. I think I got an A+ in Ethics. What do you think? ———————— If you found this interesting, you might like my Sci-Fi novelette “Joe Meets Sasquatch & Nanobots” Joe Slayd story #1. It can be found on Amazon for $0.99 as a MOBI ebook. It includes two more mostly true stories from my past and the first chapter of “Joe's Unexpected Soul Mate”, Joe Slayd story #2. Eventually I will have other mostly true stories from my past if anyone is interested.