Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 476

Stitchawl · 10-11-2013, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabee

You think you're old. I remember when the dead sea was just a bit sick.

Was that when Noah was just a midshipman? And God's dog was a puppy?

Stitchawl

Fbone · 10-11-2013, 03:09 PM

It could have said "M"

Fbone · 10-12-2013, 08:03 PM

What's the cost to keep your intestine intact?

Stitchawl · 10-14-2013, 09:10 AM

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Stitchawl

steven522 · 10-14-2013, 09:39 AM

My wife said to me: "Yes I know when we were floating on the ocean and you pointed directly behind me your lips formed the words 'Look! A sea turtle!', but all I heard was the bad over-dub from a Japanese monster movie saying 'Aiieee! Godzilla!'"

Fbone · 10-14-2013, 04:49 PM

How does this end?

Bilbo1967 · 10-14-2013, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

How does this end?

With Banoffee pie?

steven522 · 10-15-2013, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

How does this end?
(bananas.jpg)

Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Oh, it is a banana?

WT Sharpe · 10-15-2013, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Stitchawl

When did a piece of seaweed touch your foot?

pilotbob · 10-15-2013, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

When did a piece of seaweed touch your foot?

You didn't hear that?

Fbone · 10-15-2013, 05:36 PM

Fbone · 10-16-2013, 04:41 AM

Never laugh at your girlfriend's choices ... you're one of them.

pilotbob · 10-16-2013, 05:27 PM

Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo) Well, Picabo is not just an athlete. She is now a nurse currently working at an Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say,

Picabo, I.C.U.

Fbone · 10-16-2013, 07:22 PM

Here's a big shout out to sidewalks ... thanks for keeping me off the streets.

pilotbob · 10-17-2013, 09:42 AM

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup..
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead .
The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead .
Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive

So the Minister asked the congregation,
"What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . .

"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate,
you won't have worms!"

That pretty much ended the service!

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10-11-2013, 03:09 PM	#7127
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	It could have said "M"

10-12-2013, 08:03 PM	#7128
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	What's the cost to keep your intestine intact?

10-14-2013, 09:10 AM	#7129
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. Stitchawl

10-14-2013, 09:39 AM	#7130
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	My wife said to me: "Yes I know when we were floating on the ocean and you pointed directly behind me your lips formed the words 'Look! A sea turtle!', but all I heard was the bad over-dub from a Japanese monster movie saying 'Aiieee! Godzilla!'"

10-14-2013, 04:49 PM	#7131
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	How does this end?

10-15-2013, 05:36 PM	#7136
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus

10-16-2013, 04:41 AM	#7137
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Never laugh at your girlfriend's choices ... you're one of them.

10-16-2013, 05:27 PM	#7138
pilotbob Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,832 Karma: 11844413 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Tampa, FL USA Device: Kindle Touch	Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo) Well, Picabo is not just an athlete. She is now a nurse currently working at an Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, Picabo, I.C.U.

10-16-2013, 07:22 PM	#7139
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Here's a big shout out to sidewalks ... thanks for keeping me off the streets.

10-17-2013, 09:42 AM	#7140
pilotbob Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,832 Karma: 11844413 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Tampa, FL USA Device: Kindle Touch	A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead . The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead . Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?" Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . . "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!" That pretty much ended the service!