Register Guidelines E-Books Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   MobileRead Forums > Miscellaneous > Lounge

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-12-2018, 02:22 PM   #10051
orlok
Close to the Edit!
orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
orlok's Avatar
 
Posts: 9,762
Karma: 267994408
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoP View Post
^
... on reflection, my friends call me "bob"

Spoiler:

Code:
PoP
---
bob
Nice one!
orlok is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2018, 07:53 AM   #10052
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 24,021
Karma: 162282825
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
What should you say to comfort a grammer Nazi?

"There, their, they're."
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2018, 01:20 PM   #10053
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 24,021
Karma: 162282825
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2018, 05:09 AM   #10054
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 24,021
Karma: 162282825
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
I before e... except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2018, 01:04 PM   #10055
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.WT Sharpe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
WT Sharpe's Avatar
 
Posts: 38,887
Karma: 153849787
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA
Device: Kindle Voyage, iPad Air, Samsung Galaxy J7, & an iPod Nano.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoP View Post
Judge: Where were you on march 11 at 2:30 AM?

Accused: In my bed.

Judge: Impossible: Guilty!!

Heh!
WT Sharpe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2018, 01:36 PM   #10056
DMcCunney
New York Editor
DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
DMcCunney's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,151
Karma: 15224999
Join Date: Aug 2007
Device: Palm TX, Azpen A746, Entourage Pocket eDGe, Alcatel Fierce 4
Publishing light bulb jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.
https://writerswrite.co.za/light-bul...hing-industry/
______
Dennis
DMcCunney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2018, 02:37 PM   #10057
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 24,021
Karma: 162282825
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
Quote:
Originally Posted by DMcCunney View Post
All brilliant! Especially the 'forum users' one!
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2018, 03:05 PM   #10058
DMcCunney
New York Editor
DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DMcCunney ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
DMcCunney's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,151
Karma: 15224999
Join Date: Aug 2007
Device: Palm TX, Azpen A746, Entourage Pocket eDGe, Alcatel Fierce 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
All brilliant! Especially the 'forum users' one!
There are also Babylon 5 light bulb jokes:

Q: How many Centauri does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. But in the great days of the Republic, hundreds of servants would change thousands of light bulbs at our merest whim!

Q: How many Narn does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Centauri don't permit Narn access to that level of technology!

Q: How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Sixteen. One from the worker caste to do it, five from the religious caste to determine that light needs to be brought to the area, and ten from the warrior caste to hold off the forces of darkness while it is done.

Q: How many Drazi does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, if they ever stop fighting over whether the bulb should be green or purple.

Q: How many B5 stevedores does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Twenty five. You got a problem with that?

Q: How many Shadows does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Shadows use dark bulbs.

Q: How many Vorlons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The light bulb has always been changed.
______
Dennis

Last edited by DMcCunney; 03-14-2018 at 05:37 PM.
DMcCunney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2018, 05:05 PM   #10059
sjfan
Addict
sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.sjfan ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Posts: 251
Karma: 7568340
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Bethesda, MD, USA
Device: Kobo Aura H20, Kobo Clara HD
Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
I before e... except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.
Deigning to inveigle in that vein would be a seismic deceit; the veils and feints of such heinousness outweigh the perceived receipts.

Reign it in and reinvent yourself: rise at reveille, imbibe a stein of caffeine, and seize every conceivable chance of reinvesting your receivables to ensure a surfeit of leisure in your eighties.
sjfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-16-2018, 06:27 AM   #10060
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 24,021
Karma: 162282825
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
Here is the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than do the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2018, 07:07 AM   #10061
orlok
Close to the Edit!
orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
orlok's Avatar
 
Posts: 9,762
Karma: 267994408
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
Click image for larger version

Name:	stpatrick.jpg
Views:	143
Size:	41.9 KB
ID:	162843
orlok is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2018, 07:33 AM   #10062
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 24,021
Karma: 162282825
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
Tammy and Ann were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, Tammy said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds."
"Why don't you just leave him then ?" said Ann.
"Oh ! Not yet." Tammy replied, "I'd like to lose at least another ten to fifteen pounds first."
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2018, 03:45 PM   #10063
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 24,021
Karma: 162282825
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is in his mid-eighties, very well-dressed, hair well-groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel and smelling slightly of a very expensive after shave. He presents a very nice image. Seated at the bar is a classy looking lady in her mid-seventies. The sharp old gent walks over and sits alongside her. He orders a drink and takes a sip. He slowly turns to the lady and says: "So, tell me..... do I come here often?”
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2018, 08:56 PM   #10064
orlok
Close to the Edit!
orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
orlok's Avatar
 
Posts: 9,762
Karma: 267994408
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
Click image for larger version

Name:	eggs.jpg
Views:	159
Size:	27.0 KB
ID:	162932
orlok is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2018, 06:51 AM   #10065
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 24,021
Karma: 162282825
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
In late 2017 the Wampanoag Indians asked their Chief if the winter was going to be cold and snowy. Not really knowing an answer, the chief takes a guess and tells the members of the village to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the library and checked the internet forecast from the National Weather Service. He was happy to see that their data agreed with the message he gave his village. So the now confident Chief went back with a more urgent message to his people to collect even more wood and to be prepared. A month later he again visited the library and checked the forecast. The new forecast predicted even colder temperatures and huge snowfall. So the chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood. Two weeks later he makes one final check with the National Weather Service. This time he calls and speaks with one of their senior forecasters, gets an even colder forecast with even more snow and asks the agent how they can be so certain. The man replies, 'The Indians in Boston are collecting wood like crazy!'
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library? danwdoo Calibre 8 12-03-2014 07:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-) Gedvondur Introduce Yourself 12 07-22-2010 01:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background? rlsamson Barnes & Noble NOOK 3 06-30-2010 05:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released Alexander Turcic Reading and Management 2 02-20-2006 04:47 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:17 PM.


MobileRead.com is a privately owned, operated and funded community.