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Old 02-22-2018, 11:04 PM   #10021
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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And here's more cruelty:

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Ain't I a ?
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Old 02-23-2018, 12:54 AM   #10022
Dazrin
Hey! Who took my cookie?!
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That first one reminds me of my HS physics teacher's favorite "latin" saying:

Semper ubi sub ubi.
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Old 02-23-2018, 06:05 AM   #10023
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Somewhat stalled
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Originally Posted by Dazrin View Post
That first one reminds me of my HS physics teacher's favorite "latin" saying:

Semper ubi sub ubi.
(had to look it up)
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Old 02-23-2018, 12:29 PM   #10024
wodin
Illiterate
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I believe I prefer commando, thanks.
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Old 02-23-2018, 05:15 PM   #10025
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I believe I prefer commando, thanks.
Too much information.
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Old 02-23-2018, 05:34 PM   #10026
badgoodDeb
Grand Sorcerer
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I believe I prefer commando, thanks.
i.e. Nunquam ubi sub ubi
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Old 02-25-2018, 06:01 AM   #10027
drjd
The Couch Potato
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A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer.

When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door.

It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.
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Old 02-25-2018, 09:27 AM   #10028
DMcCunney
New York Editor
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Quote:
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When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door.

It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.
Back in the 80's, I worked in a back office function of a major bank. A story made the rounds about an attempted robbery at one of our branches.

The robber came in and handed a note to a teller stating it was a holdup and give him her money. The teller, a middle aged black woman, said "I'm sorry sir. We don't do that here. You'll have to go the the other bank down the block!", put out her Closed sign, and walked away from her window.

He did go rob the competitor's branch down the block. (And I think he got arrested by the NYPD on his way out, because our branch called them and reported it.)

Everyone who heard the story wished they could be as cool as the teller.
______
Dennis
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Old 03-01-2018, 06:17 AM   #10029
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Somewhat stalled
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Old 03-01-2018, 02:26 PM   #10030
drjd
The Couch Potato
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At the physics exam: 'Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.'
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Old 03-02-2018, 03:07 PM   #10031
wodin
Illiterate
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A frightened passenger said to me "how often do these planes crash"? I said "only the once".
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Old 03-02-2018, 03:09 PM   #10032
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I hate flying, especially modern jets as most only have TWO engines, if both broke down you could be stuck up there for days !!!!!
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Old 03-02-2018, 04:54 PM   #10033
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Lover of little parrots
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Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it will be a chicken sedan! lol




<------ Being a bird owner I had to tell it
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Old 03-02-2018, 06:49 PM   #10034
poohbear_nc
It's a bird, it's a ....
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Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it will be a chicken sedan! lol




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Old 03-03-2018, 05:10 AM   #10035
drjd
The Couch Potato
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For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.

She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.

"Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?"
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