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Old Yesterday, 11:59 AM   #30826
Cinisajoy
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Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer View Post
Five days ago we got the great news that we won the main court case of the Family Thing. My uncle has three months to appeal but it'll cost him a lot of money, which he has to pay himself, so we're keeping our finger's crossed.

You would think this news would lift a weight off me and it has. However, since we got the news on Thursday I've been battling an anxiety attack. Ýesterday was especially bad. I downloaded a breathing app on my tablet to help me with breathing exercises, which not only relax me and bring down my heart rate, but it also stops me from hyperventilating and "unblocks" my chest so I can take normal, deep breaths again.

I'm worrying too much about what could happen in the future instead of enjoying the moment. But after four years of mainly set-backs it's hard to be positive when things are going well.
Let me ask you this. Will your family be homeless/starve without your grandmother's house? If not, then don't worry about it. I know you want the house, but it is only a material object. So quit worrying and enjoy life and the memories of your grandmother.
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Old Yesterday, 01:06 PM   #30827
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer View Post
Five days ago we got the great news that we won the main court case of the Family Thing. My uncle has three months to appeal but it'll cost him a lot of money, which he has to pay himself, so we're keeping our finger's crossed.

You would think this news would lift a weight off me and it has. However, since we got the news on Thursday I've been battling an anxiety attack. Ýesterday was especially bad. I downloaded a breathing app on my tablet to help me with breathing exercises, which not only relax me and bring down my heart rate, but it also stops me from hyperventilating and "unblocks" my chest so I can take normal, deep breaths again.

I'm worrying too much about what could happen in the future instead of enjoying the moment. But after four years of mainly set-backs it's hard to be positive when things are going well.
This is completely normal. Your body and mind has been trained to handle a certain type of stress for so long Now it's over it doesn't know what to do with the extra amount of chemicals. It can take a month or so for it to level off.

Keep meditating, listen to relaxing music and read relaxing books eventually it will level off and you'll feels loads better and go on with your life.

I look forward to that day I can do this till then I keep putting one foot in front of the other till I'm through this mess.

Sent from my XT1528
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Old Yesterday, 01:06 PM   #30828
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinisajoy View Post
Let me ask you this. Will your family be homeless/starve without your grandmother's house? If not, then don't worry about it. I know you want the house, but it is only a material object. So quit worrying and enjoy life and the memories of your grandmother.
We will be homeless and won't have any work. We live and have our store in the house. My grandparents moved out when my father took over the store in 1979 or 1980. He wanted to buy it then but it would mean my grandparents would have to pay a lot of taxes. So they agreed that my grandparents would put in their wills that my father would be able to buy it for a certain amount after their deaths. In return my father would pay rent and pay for the all the maintenance (since it's a very old building that can be costly). My father also paid off all the debt of the store had (using the money my mother inherited from her father). Whenever my grandparents needed a bit extra money my father would give it to them.

After my grandfather's death it turns out my grandparents didn't keep their end of the bargain and had put in their will that my father would be able to buy the building for the current value as a building which was rented out (which is less than when it isn't rented out).

To top it off, after the fire in 2013 my father spend almost all his savings on getting the home livable and store up and running again. Partially because my uncle, who was my grandmother's guardian by that time, had cancelled the homeowners insurance and had "forgotten" to take out a new one. When the store was up and running again the whole Family Thing started (we assume the timing was intentional). My uncle wanted to sell the building because there wasn't enough money (there was, the courts later agreed with that). He offered it to my father for a certain amount, assuming my father wouldn't be able to get the money. And before the deadline he had set for my father he had signed an sales agreement with someone else.

The judge agrees with us. My uncle can still appeal, though according to our lawyer he doesn't have much chance.

As I said, I should be happy, but I don't trust it when things are going well.
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Old Yesterday, 03:54 PM   #30829
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Rumple:

In my experience of highly-stressful familial/inheritance/fight scenarios, of which, unfortunately, I have a ton of same, it takes a while for that whole High Anxiety fight/flight response to simmer down. And you are likely having attacks because while one part of you wants, desperately, to believe that it's over, your logical brain is afraid to, and that's why you're even more stressed now.

PLUS, you are probably thinking of ways in which your losing Uncle can make life even more miserable for you. Family, right?

Congrats on the win, and give it a few days. I suspect that when your next day off is in sight, you will probably sleep like the dead. ;-)

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Old Yesterday, 05:30 PM   #30830
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer View Post
We will be homeless and won't have any work. We live and have our store in the house. My grandparents moved out when my father took over the store in 1979 or 1980. He wanted to buy it then but it would mean my grandparents would have to pay a lot of taxes. So they agreed that my grandparents would put in their wills that my father would be able to buy it for a certain amount after their deaths. In return my father would pay rent and pay for the all the maintenance (since it's a very old building that can be costly). My father also paid off all the debt of the store had (using the money my mother inherited from her father). Whenever my grandparents needed a bit extra money my father would give it to them.

After my grandfather's death it turns out my grandparents didn't keep their end of the bargain and had put in their will that my father would be able to buy the building for the current value as a building which was rented out (which is less than when it isn't rented out).

To top it off, after the fire in 2013 my father spend almost all his savings on getting the home livable and store up and running again. Partially because my uncle, who was my grandmother's guardian by that time, had cancelled the homeowners insurance and had "forgotten" to take out a new one. When the store was up and running again the whole Family Thing started (we assume the timing was intentional). My uncle wanted to sell the building because there wasn't enough money (there was, the courts later agreed with that). He offered it to my father for a certain amount, assuming my father wouldn't be able to get the money. And before the deadline he had set for my father he had signed an sales agreement with someone else.

The judge agrees with us. My uncle can still appeal, though according to our lawyer he doesn't have much chance.

As I said, I should be happy, but I don't trust it when things are going well.
I didn't realize that. Your stress is now very understandable.
I thought your father owned the business outright.
So for now, just keep breathing.
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Old Yesterday, 06:07 PM   #30831
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Seriously?

Well, the nadir cometh.

Today, on the KDP forums, a new-to-it publisher asked: "what's a paperback?"

I'm like...really? Is it really possible to believe that a human who INTENDS to be a published author, doesn't know what a frakking paperback is????



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Old Yesterday, 06:25 PM   #30832
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Originally Posted by Hitch View Post
Well, the nadir cometh.

Today, on the KDP forums, a new-to-it publisher asked: "what's a paperback?"

I'm like...really? Is it really possible to believe that a human who INTENDS to be a published author, doesn't know what a frakking paperback is????



Hitch
That is awfully unbelievable. It sounds like the person isn't a reader -- in which case what business have they of trying to publish?? (imho)
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Old Yesterday, 06:41 PM   #30833
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That is awfully unbelievable. It sounds like the person isn't a reader -- in which case what business have they of trying to publish?? (imho)
This crap happens ALL. THE. TIME. it's like, some of them have never seen a book cover, and you see them publish landscape covers, or squares, or what-have-you. Some seem to have never read an actual book.

I swear, this sort of thing is bloody killing me.

Spoiler:
We had a client post on the KDP forums, asking people who some book on Amazon "was made." A regular old ebook, right? I posted and asked him, "what feature are you asking about?" I was trying to figure out, WTF? I responded, saying, "it's a regular old ebook. Honestly, looks like it was uploaded in Word format, no big thing here." I asked him, AGAIN, what he was askign about. Now, mind you--anyone else that tries to figure out what this bozo is talking about will discover that he's had his ebooks MADE BY US, right? FINALLY, after posting something literally incomprehensible, he asks why this other company's ebooks have images that zoom---when he doesn't. My d*mn head almost Exorcisted right off my neck--I replied, you
DO. I had to take screenshots, to prove to him that his images zoomed. FIVE d*mn books we've done for this guy. I wish people would actually try to occasionally access the d*mn melon on the top of their necks, I truly do.


I realize that this is small beans, compared to people having their lives, their homes, wiped out in hurricanes and earthquakes, though, of course. That being said, it's my world, locked in here with the loonies, and it's making me



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Old Yesterday, 06:45 PM   #30834
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Well, and this is an ebook forum, so we can empathize with this kind of craziness!

Apparently southern IL and California both had 3.9 (small beans) earthquakes today. The place (planet) is falling to pieces around us.
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Old Yesterday, 07:04 PM   #30835
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For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.
.....
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Old Yesterday, 07:10 PM   #30836
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.....
Oh, GREAT. I already have the pestilences, you guys have read about our pestilential clients. All I need now to make my week complete is the guy on the pale horse.



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Old Yesterday, 08:50 PM   #30837
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitch View Post
This crap happens ALL. THE. TIME. it's like, some of them have never seen a book cover, and you see them publish landscape covers, or squares, or what-have-you. Some seem to have never read an actual book.

I swear, this sort of thing is bloody killing me.

Spoiler:
We had a client post on the KDP forums, asking people who some book on Amazon "was made." A regular old ebook, right? I posted and asked him, "what feature are you asking about?" I was trying to figure out, WTF? I responded, saying, "it's a regular old ebook. Honestly, looks like it was uploaded in Word format, no big thing here." I asked him, AGAIN, what he was askign about. Now, mind you--anyone else that tries to figure out what this bozo is talking about will discover that he's had his ebooks MADE BY US, right? FINALLY, after posting something literally incomprehensible, he asks why this other company's ebooks have images that zoom---when he doesn't. My d*mn head almost Exorcisted right off my neck--I replied, you
DO. I had to take screenshots, to prove to him that his images zoomed. FIVE d*mn books we've done for this guy. I wish people would actually try to occasionally access the d*mn melon on the top of their necks, I truly do.


I realize that this is small beans, compared to people having their lives, their homes, wiped out in hurricanes and earthquakes, though, of course. That being said, it's my world, locked in here with the loonies, and it's making me



Hitch
Didn't your mother warn you about zombies? The real brain dead ones, not completely dead ones.
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Old Yesterday, 09:06 PM   #30838
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitch View Post
Well, the nadir cometh.

Today, on the KDP forums, a new-to-it publisher asked: "what's a paperback?"

I'm like...really? Is it really possible to believe that a human who INTENDS to be a published author, doesn't know what a frakking paperback is????



Hitch
And, what do people mean when they keep talking about "clockwise?" I have a clock, and the numbers just change! There's no direction to it!
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Old Yesterday, 09:23 PM   #30839
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitch View Post
Well, the nadir cometh.

Today, on the KDP forums, a new-to-it publisher asked: "what's a paperback?"

I'm like...really? Is it really possible to believe that a human who INTENDS to be a published author, doesn't know what a frakking paperback is????
That is so stupid to almost seem intentional. Like they were *trying* to be witty about ebooks and say "what's a paperback" to imply printed books are out of date. Yikes.
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Old Today, 03:23 AM   #30840
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Rumple:

In my experience of highly-stressful familial/inheritance/fight scenarios, of which, unfortunately, I have a ton of same, it takes a while for that whole High Anxiety fight/flight response to simmer down. And you are likely having attacks because while one part of you wants, desperately, to believe that it's over, your logical brain is afraid to, and that's why you're even more stressed now.

PLUS, you are probably thinking of ways in which your losing Uncle can make life even more miserable for you. Family, right?

Congrats on the win, and give it a few days. I suspect that when your next day off is in sight, you will probably sleep like the dead. ;-)

Hitch
You're right. Luckily I slept better the last two nights than I have during the last couple of weeks.

Despite the fact that it'll cost him money and he hasn't got much chance to win I am afraid he'll appeal. Just the thought of going through everything again. This court case took three and a half years for it to finish. I'm not sure I can take another three and a half years.

However, I do realize it's my uncle who should be afraid. Remember the documents he only wanted to share if we paid €1500? The solicitor dealing with my grandmother's estate convinced him to share at least some of it. We got a tiny fraction and we found out a couple of things. We already knew he had let my grandmother pay for his window insurance, we also found out she paid for his and his partner's funeral insurance and he used my grandmother's bank account to buy credits for a sex dating website. He had promised more documents when he returned from his vacation, he returned over month ago and we haven't got it yet. We did send a letter to the judge overseeing his guardianship of his mother, she wanted us to sign a statement basically saying he did everything right. We won't, and explained why.

We are going to try to get all the documents and see if he committed more fraud and we will try to get all the money back. Considering the judge has also decided that everyone should pay their own legal costs (he used my grandmother's money to pay for a court case where we had summoned him personally) the money he owes the heirs has risen to at least €30000.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinisajoy View Post
I didn't realize that. Your stress is now very understandable.
I thought your father owned the business outright.
So for now, just keep breathing.
No problem, it's a complicated mess. When everything is settled I'm going to insist my parents make a very clear will. I don't care what's in it, I don't necessarily want to know but it needs to be very clear.

The exercises seem to help. So far I've also been able to hold of the muscle ache that always comes when my anxiety attack lasts long or is bad.
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