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Old 09-07-2017, 06:49 AM   #9871
Andy_T
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... and one more !
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Old 09-07-2017, 09:02 AM   #9872
poohbear_nc
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And, for good measure, some vintage Gary Larson...
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Old 09-07-2017, 09:42 PM   #9873
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And, for good measure, some vintage Gary Larson...
Calls to mind Dr. Hannibal Lecter's escape in The Silence of the Lambs.
Know any chickens named "Buffalo Bill" Pooh?
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Old 09-08-2017, 11:49 AM   #9874
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The comforts of literature.

SMBC-Comics via Language Log, where you can find the whole background story, too.
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Old 09-10-2017, 06:01 AM   #9875
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Old 09-11-2017, 05:27 AM   #9876
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My washing machine broke down this morning, but I didn't get too agitated.
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Old 09-13-2017, 06:00 AM   #9877
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A hair raising experience sounds pretty good to a bald guy.
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Old 09-15-2017, 04:09 AM   #9878
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I was reading about this new diet where youre not allowed to drink alcohol. Well, I read the first sentence at least.
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Old 09-16-2017, 03:54 AM   #9879
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One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Brian noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, 'Mommy is at a Tupperware party.'
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, 'What’s a Tupperware party, Dad?'
I’ve always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. 'Well, Brian,' I said, 'at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other.'
Brian nodded, indicating that he understood. Then he burst into laughter. 'Come on, Dad,' he said. 'What is it really?'
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Old 09-16-2017, 12:20 PM   #9880
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My pet Budgie broke its leg, so I made it a splint out of matchsticks. You should have seen his little face light up when he tried to walk...
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Old 09-22-2017, 09:55 AM   #9881
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Old 09-23-2017, 05:57 AM   #9882
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I used to not like Newtons, but now they're my favorite snack. Go fig.
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Old 09-25-2017, 05:45 AM   #9883
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NASA is full of yes men. They should call it YASA.
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Old 09-25-2017, 07:58 AM   #9884
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Old 09-27-2017, 05:04 AM   #9885
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I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room.
The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, 'Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds.'
While the nurse pondered this information, my mother leaned over to me. 'Sweetheart,' she gently chided, 'this is not the Internet.'
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