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Old 10-24-2017, 06:03 PM   #31126
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My mother has chronic bronchitis and when she has a cold she has to be careful to take her medicines and still she regularly (every 1 to 2 years) she either almost gets a pneumonia or fully gets one.

On Saturday she started getting a cold and although she coughed a lot and felt tired she was okay until this morning. When she could hardly breathe, her inhaler didn't help and she had my father call an ambulance. She was put on a ventilator, I don't know if they gave her anything. After a while the ventilator had helped a lot and they called our doctor to see if he wanted to see her or if he preferred to have her taken to the hospital. He wanted to see her and he had time to do it right then. So the ambulance crew left, my father got the car and my parents are now at the doctor.

She was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis at a young age, but my grandmother and doctor didn't tell her. It was convenient for my grandmother; she kept my mother home, because my mother "didn't have long to live", my mother had to do the housekeeping and was sent to work at age 16. She didn't find out until she was in her 30s that she had bronchitis, when she found it harder to breathe and our current doctor told her and put her on medication. He was horrified she never knew.

Am I worried, sure. But most of all I'm angry. She smokes unfiltered cigarettes, quite a lot IMHO (and she also has high blood pressure). Over the last couple of years she has reduced the number of cigarettes she smokes, but with her health issues any cigarette is one too many. Also, when she has a cold she smokes more, because it suppresses the coughing, or so she says.

As children we begged her to stop. I don't know why she doesn't want to stop; if it's a middle finger to her mother and then doctor, if it's her way of keeping in control or because she afraid she can't stop. I wished she was taken to the hospital. I assume our doctor has told her numerous times to stop, maybe if she was taken to the hospital and got a lecture about smoking there it would be a wake up call. Probably not though, but you never know.

Now, for next month or month and a half I will not only be working pretty much full time, I'll also be responsible for the house keeping and have to do also those pesky chores my mother hates doing (thawing and cleaning the freezer, deep clean the kitchen, etc).
Mom is partially right on the cough suppression.
A few years ago, there was a science fair at a college. One group was testing lung capacity (called something else). They had an idea to show how bad smoking is on your lungs. The idea was to take a reading on a smoker before they went out and smoked a cigarette. Then take another immediately after a cigarette. The results had us all looking for a respiratory therapist or the professor. The capacity was increased immediately after a cigarette. 30 minutes later was when the capacity dropped back down. I was the guinea pig in that experiment.
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Old 10-24-2017, 07:20 PM   #31127
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As children we begged her to stop. I don't know why she doesn't want to stop.
Strange. Having lung problems would normally be a very good motivation to stop smoking.

Because that's the key: you'll have to have a true motivation. Case in point: I've been a nail biter for decades; suddenly started as a child and never quit. Even so, I took organ lessons (classic/Hammond) and never had a real problem with it. I wasn't an extreme biter; I only took off the white free edge, but still, my nails were decidedly short.

I tried to quit.... 10 times? 20? More? I just tried to quit... because... nothing. Because I tried to quit. Failed every time.

Then I swapped my organ for a piano. Rambled about on it for some time, teaching myself proper piano touch and pedaling (as I already know all music theory I'll ever need, when not going for an MA in music).

At some point I thought: I can get to level such and such on my own, as it is comparable to what I did on the organ, but then, with the more difficult pieces, I need a teacher. Somewhere in the future, I'll go and take some piano lessons in the higher levels.

Somehow, somewhere, I subconsciously decided that someone of my age couldn't go and get piano lessons with bitten off nails. I didn't make a conscious effort to stop nail biting, but since I told myself "somewhere in the future I'll go and take some lessons again", I just magically quit.

Haven't bitten a nail for over a year. I cut and groom them as any normal man would. Now, everything looks normal and you wouldn't suspect I ever bit a single nail in my life.

I'm 100% positive that having the motivation to someday take lessons and do it with decent looking hands too, was the cause of me quitting nail biting virtually over night. I actually shudder to think of biting at a nail instead of cutting it... can't fathom why I would _want_ to bite it, honestly. Having normal nails actually made life easier, such as when trying to peel something...

There is one difference though: nail biting is a bad habit. Smoking is an addiction. I don't know how much this will have an impact.

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Old 10-25-2017, 01:07 AM   #31128
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I wore the full-strength nicotine patch, and it worked for me. What I'm not saying is that I wore it...for a year. I'd smoked like a fiend for dog's years, and I had to quit (nearly 20 years now). But without that patch, it would have been fugly, I tell ya. That last effort, wearing the full-strength patch, for a year--that worked. Nothing else, before then, "took." And god knows, I tried everything, albeit, obviously, not Vaping because that didn't exist then.

Even if she never quit, vaping would be dramatically better for her, of course.

Hitch
The key with vapes is to buy different nicotine percentages oil. You ween yourself off the nicotine slowly and you're still smoking so you don't feel deprived of the act. You can also get all kinds of flavors for it which is why my friend tried it. They even make the oils without any nicotine. The patches work for alot of people but I've seen people who smoked four packs a day who tried everything and fail then try these and quit for good. My one friend is five years smoke free now because of them. My niece is three years. I could give several more examples. I wouldn't promote cigarettes ever. I've seen the health problems they can cause all through out my relatives but the vapes do work for quitting for good. That's the only reason I recommend them to people trying to quit. I've seen the success with my own eyes and it usually only takes a couple months.

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Old 10-25-2017, 03:09 AM   #31129
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She doesn't have a pneumonia, she does have an infection. She's got an extra inhaler and some pills. It was a busy day yesterday and my mother has already planned another busy week for me. This weekend I'm both thawing the freezer and deep cleaning the kitchen. All will have to be done in one day, since on Monday (my weekend is Sunday and Monday) my father wants me to join him in going to a supplier. The last time he was there they had some new items and he wanted to show me and then decide whether or not to stock them. After that we have to pick an order at another supplier and on the way back we're doing the weekly shopping. So we'll be gone for most of the day. I had planned on going to the big annual craft convention next week, but now I can't, both because I'm doing all the house keeping and because my mother can't help in the store if it gets busy. Just like last year.

She hasn't got any motivation to stop. Yesterday, the doctor told her again to stop smoking. I realize that after 50 years of smoking she can't quit cold turkey. But she has reduced her smoking by half and admitted that she doesn't miss it. She doesn't feel the need to go further. I don't think vaping will be an option; she thinks smoking cigarettes with a filter is already faking it.

Sometimes, when I'm totally honest I think her health problems (chronic bronchitis, arthritis and cataracts) are very convenient for her. She goes out twice a week; once to do the weekly shopping, she uses the trolley as a rollator. And on Saturdays to get her cigarettes, because she know my father and I won't buy those for her. The other shopping I do. I've also taken over various chores.
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Old 10-25-2017, 10:59 PM   #31130
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She doesn't have a pneumonia, she does have an infection. She's got an extra inhaler and some pills. It was a busy day yesterday and my mother has already planned another busy week for me. This weekend I'm both thawing the freezer and deep cleaning the kitchen. All will have to be done in one day, since on Monday (my weekend is Sunday and Monday) my father wants me to join him in going to a supplier. The last time he was there they had some new items and he wanted to show me and then decide whether or not to stock them. After that we have to pick an order at another supplier and on the way back we're doing the weekly shopping. So we'll be gone for most of the day. I had planned on going to the big annual craft convention next week, but now I can't, both because I'm doing all the house keeping and because my mother can't help in the store if it gets busy. Just like last year.

She hasn't got any motivation to stop. Yesterday, the doctor told her again to stop smoking. I realize that after 50 years of smoking she can't quit cold turkey. But she has reduced her smoking by half and admitted that she doesn't miss it. She doesn't feel the need to go further. I don't think vaping will be an option; she thinks smoking cigarettes with a filter is already faking it.

Sometimes, when I'm totally honest I think her health problems (chronic bronchitis, arthritis and cataracts) are very convenient for her. She goes out twice a week; once to do the weekly shopping, she uses the trolley as a rollator. And on Saturdays to get her cigarettes, because she know my father and I won't buy those for her. The other shopping I do. I've also taken over various chores.
Good luck on the kitchen.
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Old 10-25-2017, 11:57 PM   #31131
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Sometimes, when I'm totally honest I think her health problems (chronic bronchitis, arthritis and cataracts) are very convenient for her. She goes out twice a week; once to do the weekly shopping, she uses the trolley as a rollator. And on Saturdays to get her cigarettes, because she know my father and I won't buy those for her. The other shopping I do. I've also taken over various chores.
Something I learned, when dealing with my mother and then my gran, the former of whom was obdurately self-destructive and the latter who went utterly bonkers with Alzheimers is: sometimes, it's easier to get angry at the person, for behavior that you (prefer) to perceive as deliberate--and thereby changeable--than to realize that the person you loved at one time is simply gone, and never coming back. Getting angry and thinking that they're doing it deliberately, or that it's convenient, is a form of denial.

Not saying that's how it is with your Mother, or you. But it was damn sure true about me and mine, for a while, and certainly my sister--who never could let go and realize that for all intents and purposes, our grandmother was gone, years before she was, and that our mother, at her age, simply could no longer take active steps to diminish her "bad" behaviors. It's bloody difficult to let that anger go, I can certainly say THAT.

Offered solely FWIW.

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Old 10-26-2017, 12:48 AM   #31132
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Something I learned, when dealing with my mother and then my gran, the former of whom was obdurately self-destructive and the latter who went utterly bonkers with Alzheimers is: sometimes, it's easier to get angry at the person, for behavior that you (prefer) to perceive as deliberate--and thereby changeable--than to realize that the person you loved at one time is simply gone, and never coming back. Getting angry and thinking that they're doing it deliberately, or that it's convenient, is a form of denial.

Not saying that's how it is with your Mother, or you. But it was damn sure true about me and mine, for a while, and certainly my sister--who never could let go and realize that for all intents and purposes, our grandmother was gone, years before she was, and that our mother, at her age, simply could no longer take active steps to diminish her "bad" behaviors. It's bloody difficult to let that anger go, I can certainly say THAT.

Offered solely FWIW.

Hitch
As far as anger goes, after my father died I would yell (mentally) at times. I would tell him, he should be here to console his older sister not me.
That did lead to a weird image when that sister passed away.
My father passed away early due (do) to thinking beer=warfarin and food.
He would lie about when he ate.

So I do understand.
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Old 10-26-2017, 07:14 AM   #31133
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I can sympathize. I've seen changes with my husband over the past three years. At first I got angry. I called him all kinds of names in my head but then I had to take a step back and look at his parents and compare behavior patterns and realize what I was dealing with wasn't normal. His mental health had changed. His physical health had changed. I couldn't blame him for something he couldn't control. We talked finally a few months back. He is still in denial but not as much. Things have been better. Now I'm possibly at 40 starting premenopause. The hormones and cycle changes are really getting to me. He's going to have to put up with me.

I'll be truthful I can't be around my mother. She's not the person I knew at 76. She gets around me and goes manic. She becomes like she's on something. She talks nonstop, she goes through so many emotions I'm exhausted by the time I leave. It's better for me to talk to her over the phone.
I know she loves me and I know she's happy to see me and just excited but it just stresses me out to the point I want to cry. It's hurts to see her that way. It freaks hubby out. It freaks me out. I've accepted she's not going to change. I can't go have lunch with her anymore. This person I do not know. The mother I knew does not exist anymore. She just talks and talks and then gets upset about things that happen over 50 years ago. It's sad.

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Old 10-26-2017, 02:14 PM   #31134
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Crafting frustration: finding a good paper trimmer.

I got a nice 8 inch guillotine trimmer and a nice trimmer with a cutting blade. However the blades for the later go dull quickly, especially when you want to cut a bigger batch of paper and you when you need them it turns out you haven't got new blades. About a year ago I bought a big, self sharpening guillotine trimmer. It works great, it's straight (often not the case with paper trimmers) and sharp and has both inches and centimeters. Today, however, I need to cut something precise and I couldn't. I hadn't noticed before but the between centimeters there aren't stripes to indicate the millimeters. Each centimeter is divided into four. Who would do such a thing?

So, this trimmer is going to the store. The one we have there isn't straight, is rusted and incredibly heavy. And my hunt for the perfect 12 inch self sharpening guillotine trimmer continues.
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Old 10-26-2017, 02:25 PM   #31135
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Crafting frustration: finding a good paper trimmer.

I got a nice 8 inch guillotine trimmer and a nice trimmer with a cutting blade. However the blades for the later go dull quickly, especially when you want to cut a bigger batch of paper and you when you need them it turns out you haven't got new blades. About a year ago I bought a big, self sharpening guillotine trimmer. It works great, it's straight (often not the case with paper trimmers) and sharp and has both inches and centimeters. Today, however, I need to cut something precise and I couldn't. I hadn't noticed before but the between centimeters there aren't stripes to indicate the millimeters. Each centimeter is divided into four. Who would do such a thing?

So, this trimmer is going to the store. The one we have there isn't straight, is rusted and incredibly heavy. And my hunt for the perfect 12 inch self sharpening guillotine trimmer continues.
Ok I understand inches being divided into fourths but not centimeters.
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Old 10-26-2017, 03:01 PM   #31136
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Can't you add a few bits of tape, to mark the millimeters that you are interested in?
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Old 10-26-2017, 03:52 PM   #31137
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The HEAT is driving me bonkers.

Before any of you wise-asses chime in to say I'm already bonkers, thanks anyway.

It was bluudy 96F here, yesterday. For the love of...and it's down to a glacially-cold 92F, today.

ENOUGH ALREADY. This is beyond "unseasonably warm." I've been able to rely on the third week of October, without fail, for {mumble} years, for the weather to change, and for those of us hardy enough to survive the summers here to reap the lovely benefits of Fall/Winter weather.

But this is really starting to piss me right the hell off. I'm literally starting to pace the house like a caged animal, desperate for some FRESH BLOODY AIR.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrr.


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Old 10-26-2017, 04:03 PM   #31138
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Saw this recently and thought it very apropos. I didn't realize it was done in *2007* !

https://www.theonion.com/fall-cancel...ons-1819569446

edit: by which I meant to say: Do you then go straight into Winter, Hitch? If your area has a "Winter". We've been missing much of fall, and going straight into Winter. I think we had 2 weeks of Fall this year, though it was interrupted by a return-engagement of Summer.
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Old 10-26-2017, 05:04 PM   #31139
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Before any of you wise-asses chime in to say I'm already bonkers, thanks anyway.

It was bluudy 96F here, yesterday. For the love of...and it's down to a glacially-cold 92F, today.

ENOUGH ALREADY. This is beyond "unseasonably warm." I've been able to rely on the third week of October, without fail, for {mumble} years, for the weather to change, and for those of us hardy enough to survive the summers here to reap the lovely benefits of Fall/Winter weather.

But this is really starting to piss me right the hell off. I'm literally starting to pace the house like a caged animal, desperate for some FRESH BLOODY AIR.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrr.


Hitch
The weather is bonkers. Let's have 88 as a high and 60 as a low. Ok 65/45 sounds good, nah 86/59 no 70/45. Oops 84/46. Now 75 wind/??? Tomorrow will be 59/32.
That is our weather since last Saturday. How am I supposed to dress?
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Old 10-26-2017, 05:07 PM   #31140
Hitch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badgoodDeb View Post
Saw this recently and thought it very apropos. I didn't realize it was done in *2007* !

https://www.theonion.com/fall-cancel...ons-1819569446

edit: by which I meant to say: Do you then go straight into Winter, Hitch? If your area has a "Winter". We've been missing much of fall, and going straight into Winter. I think we had 2 weeks of Fall this year, though it was interrupted by a return-engagement of Summer.
Yeah, we laugh that we get one day of Fall. It's a running joke, but truth is, it's cool and crisp and Fall-ish, for maybe 3 days, each year, and then it just plunges right into our "winter." You have two whole WEEKS? Wowza, you're lucky. ;-)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinisajoy View Post
The weather is bonkers. Let's have 88 as a high and 60 as a low. Ok 65/45 sounds good, nah 86/59 no 70/45. Oops 84/46. Now 75 wind/??? Tomorrow will be 59/32.
That is our weather since last Saturday. How am I supposed to dress?
I'm taking stuff in the car with me. Layers. Hot clothes (temps, not the body in it, trust me), cooler, cold...it's daft.

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