My 1 star reviews

John Carroll · 03-28-2011, 07:28 PM

I've gotten a few 1 star reviews lately.

Thought I'd share them. I know I'm only supposed to promote the good stuff, but those reviews aren't as funny. A couple hurt, but not too badly. Anyone else want to share their pain?

"Don't Ever Change" - A horror/thriller short story:

On Apple:
"Stupid and pointless
by ZoeReader
This is the worst generic story I've ever read. It's ridiculous and sounds like a 14 year old wrote it for a creative writing assignment. I'd have given it an F because I'd expect more even from a 14 year old."

On B&N:
"Doesn't stick to it's oen prrmise...
by Anonymous

If the premise is the boy never changes how does he become a murderer? Originnal idea, extremely poor execution."

"Test Pilot" - Sci-fi short story:

On Apple:
"Dave
by ME ???
I liked the overall idea and plot of this short story. Unfortunately it suffered from poor writing skills. I could not stop thinking as I read it, that it was written by a teenager as a school assignment. "

"Blue Haired Alien Girlfriend" - Sci-fi short story

On B&N:
"do not recommend:
the author used "week knees" instead of "weak knees" and "waste belt" instead of "waist belt" (*author's note - The nice thing about eBooks is that these are now fixed.

*)

"don't like
i don't like this book at all. even though i put 1star i. think it dosen earn 1/2a star. i mean ya the titel sounds cool or wierd but i really dont like this book. dont juge a book by its cover READ THE REVIEWS!!!!!!! so u mit like it but to me it reslly suks."

"The Emo Bunny That Should, A story for Demented Children" - Humor short story:

On B&N:

"Anonymous
it sucks : i hope that bunny is emo so it can stab itself to death "

Hmmm (2 star review)
I would like to say a lot of good things about this book, but what mostly snds out is STRANGE. Well written, not denying the author has talent, but wow.

Tony_A20 · 03-28-2011, 07:37 PM

Tsk,tsk,tsk! Certainly seems like you need to do some reading, studying, and planning before you write your next story. Then spend a lot of time editing it.

Tony

HarryT · 03-29-2011, 01:24 AM

There's absolutely no excuse for such things as "week knees". Why did you publish a book with such errors in it?

Worldwalker · 03-29-2011, 01:48 AM

This is why you need a proofreader, a good proofreader, preferably one who has never seen that story or book before. You can't catch your own mistakes -- you always see what you meant to write, not what you actually did write (with me, it's cut-and-paste errors and duplicated words). A spelling checker can't do it -- that gives you "week knees". There's no substitute for a human being who checks every word.

Frida Fantastic · 03-29-2011, 03:32 AM

Agreed. Proofreaders and editors are a must. You need to have a good working relationship with several people who feel comfortable giving you honest feedback about anything from plot to spelling--and you need to feel comfortable taking that feedback and implementing the changes and ensure quality control.

Some reviewers don't know what they're doing (I saw someone give a 1 or 2 star review for Jacob's Room by Virginia Woolf), but if you have several 1 star reviewers that voice similar complaints, then you need to fix the product. Be more careful about deciding which pieces are ready to go "live".

mmessina · 03-29-2011, 02:46 PM

I'm still nervously waiting for my first one star review, heh. Not to say I have dodged the bullet yet but honestly haven't sold enough copies to garner that many reviews. Some of those are outright brutal, but hey, dems da breaks

DArenson · 03-29-2011, 07:03 PM

One star reviews hurt, but they're part of the biz. Best thing to do -- eat some ice cream and write an even better book.

Fbone · 03-29-2011, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Carroll

"The Emo Bunny That Should, A story for Demented Children" - Humor short story:

On B&N:

"Anonymous
it sucks : i hope that bunny is emo so it can stab itself to death "

John Carroll · 03-29-2011, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Carroll

"The Emo Bunny That Should, A story for Demented Children" - Humor short story:

On B&N:

"Anonymous
it sucks : i hope that bunny is emo so it can stab itself to death "

Yeah. That's my favorite too. "Emo Bunny" has performed better than any. Even with that rating, it's been rated 41 times on B&N for a average of 4 stars. On Apple it's been rated 22 times for 4 1/2 stars. It's really weird though, so people either hate or love it.

Worldwalker · 03-30-2011, 09:11 AM

For some reason, that brings to mind the quote "I want emo grass, so it cuts itself."

I may be thinking of this because it's currently pouring rain, and when this rain stops and it gets warm and sunny I'm going to want emo grass, and possibly some defense from lurking tigers.

Andanzas · 03-30-2011, 03:20 PM

You know you are missing a great chance to become famous, right? Just answer a couple of those reviews and you'll be all over the Internet.

John Carroll · 03-30-2011, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andanzas

You know you are missing a great change to become famous, right? Just answer a couple of those reviews and you'll be all over the Internet.

Good point! I should totally rant and rave, insisting that they take them back and cuss at them when they don't.

I know that's what that one author did.

Worldwalker · 03-30-2011, 06:21 PM

Don't forget to swear. The F-bombs are important.

Nada y Nadie · 04-03-2011, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Carroll

On B&N:
"do not recommend:
the author used "week knees" instead of "weak knees" and "waste belt" instead of "waist belt" (*author's note - The nice thing about eBooks is that these are now fixed.

*)

Don't think I've ever read a book that didn't have some typos. Those are pretty funny, though.

John Carroll · 04-04-2011, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nada y Nadie

Don't think I've ever read a book that didn't have some typos. Those are pretty funny, though.

*grin* yeah. Pretty stupid too. I have been compiling a list of words and doing searches on those words to make sure they're used in the correct manner. It's longer than I'd like.

03-28-2011, 07:28 PM	#1
John Carroll kookoo Posts: 1,461 Karma: 7772454 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Colorado Springs Device: Kindle Paperwhite, Nook, LG4	My 1 star reviews I've gotten a few 1 star reviews lately. Thought I'd share them. I know I'm only supposed to promote the good stuff, but those reviews aren't as funny. A couple hurt, but not too badly. Anyone else want to share their pain? "Don't Ever Change" - A horror/thriller short story: On Apple: "Stupid and pointless by ZoeReader This is the worst generic story I've ever read. It's ridiculous and sounds like a 14 year old wrote it for a creative writing assignment. I'd have given it an F because I'd expect more even from a 14 year old." On B&N: "Doesn't stick to it's oen prrmise... by Anonymous If the premise is the boy never changes how does he become a murderer? Originnal idea, extremely poor execution." "Test Pilot" - Sci-fi short story: On Apple: "Dave by ME ??? I liked the overall idea and plot of this short story. Unfortunately it suffered from poor writing skills. I could not stop thinking as I read it, that it was written by a teenager as a school assignment. " "Blue Haired Alien Girlfriend" - Sci-fi short story On B&N: "do not recommend: the author used "week knees" instead of "weak knees" and "waste belt" instead of "waist belt" (author's note - The nice thing about eBooks is that these are now fixed. ) "don't like i don't like this book at all. even though i put 1star i. think it dosen earn 1/2a star. i mean ya the titel sounds cool or wierd but i really dont like this book. dont juge a book by its cover READ THE REVIEWS!!!!!!! so u mit like it but to me it reslly suks." "The Emo Bunny That Should, A story for Demented Children" - Humor short story: On B&N: "Anonymous it sucks : i hope that bunny is emo so it can stab itself to death " Hmmm (2 star review) I would like to say a lot of good things about this book, but what mostly snds out is STRANGE. Well written, not denying the author has talent, but wow.

03-30-2011, 03:20 PM	#11
Andanzas Out of print Posts: 484 Karma: 1549538 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Madrid, Spain Device: Sony PRS-500 (recycled), Pocketbook Inkpad X Pro	You know you are missing a great chance to become famous, right? Just answer a couple of those reviews and you'll be all over the Internet. Last edited by Andanzas; 03-30-2011 at 07:11 PM.

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03-28-2011, 07:37 PM	#2
Tony_A20 Enthusiast Posts: 39 Karma: 25000 Join Date: Dec 2009 Device: Kindle 3	Tsk,tsk,tsk! Certainly seems like you need to do some reading, studying, and planning before you write your next story. Then spend a lot of time editing it. Tony

03-29-2011, 01:24 AM	#3
HarryT eBook Enthusiast Posts: 85,544 Karma: 93383043 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis 2, iPad Pro 10.5", iPhone 6	There's absolutely no excuse for such things as "week knees". Why did you publish a book with such errors in it?

03-29-2011, 01:48 AM	#4
Worldwalker Curmudgeon Posts: 3,085 Karma: 722357 Join Date: Feb 2010 Device: PRS-505	This is why you need a proofreader, a good proofreader, preferably one who has never seen that story or book before. You can't catch your own mistakes -- you always see what you meant to write, not what you actually did write (with me, it's cut-and-paste errors and duplicated words). A spelling checker can't do it -- that gives you "week knees". There's no substitute for a human being who checks every word.

03-29-2011, 03:32 AM	#5
Frida Fantastic SF/F book blogger Posts: 270 Karma: 502030 Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Vancouver, Canada Device: Kindle 3	Agreed. Proofreaders and editors are a must. You need to have a good working relationship with several people who feel comfortable giving you honest feedback about anything from plot to spelling--and you need to feel comfortable taking that feedback and implementing the changes and ensure quality control. Some reviewers don't know what they're doing (I saw someone give a 1 or 2 star review for Jacob's Room by Virginia Woolf), but if you have several 1 star reviewers that voice similar complaints, then you need to fix the product. Be more careful about deciding which pieces are ready to go "live".

03-29-2011, 02:46 PM	#6
mmessina Author-saurus-rex Posts: 33 Karma: 88 Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: harrisburg, pa Device: kindle	I'm still nervously waiting for my first one star review, heh. Not to say I have dodged the bullet yet but honestly haven't sold enough copies to garner that many reviews. Some of those are outright brutal, but hey, dems da breaks

03-29-2011, 07:03 PM	#7
DArenson ebookworm Posts: 268 Karma: 100026 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Canada Device: Kobo, Kindle	One star reviews hurt, but they're part of the biz. Best thing to do -- eat some ice cream and write an even better book.

03-30-2011, 09:11 AM	#10
Worldwalker Curmudgeon Posts: 3,085 Karma: 722357 Join Date: Feb 2010 Device: PRS-505	For some reason, that brings to mind the quote "I want emo grass, so it cuts itself." I may be thinking of this because it's currently pouring rain, and when this rain stops and it gets warm and sunny I'm going to want emo grass, and possibly some defense from lurking tigers.

03-30-2011, 06:21 PM	#13
Worldwalker Curmudgeon Posts: 3,085 Karma: 722357 Join Date: Feb 2010 Device: PRS-505	Don't forget to swear. The F-bombs are important.

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