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Old 03-17-2017, 07:57 PM   #9631
poohbear_nc
Now what?
poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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In honor of St. Patrick's Day ...

What's Irish and stays outside all summer long?

Paddy O'Furniture.
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Old 03-18-2017, 05:42 AM   #9632
drjd
The Couch Potato
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When humans are young, they are pushed around in strollers...
When they are old, they are pushed around in wheelchairs...
In between, they are just pushed around...
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Old 03-18-2017, 03:51 PM   #9633
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
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Old 03-19-2017, 05:31 AM   #9634
drjd
The Couch Potato
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An elderly couple were in church. The wife leaned over and whispered to her husband, "I just let out a long silent fart... what should I do?"

The husband replied, "Replace the batteries in your hearing aid."
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Old 03-19-2017, 08:08 AM   #9635
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable!
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Old 03-19-2017, 04:34 PM   #9636
poohbear_nc
Now what?
poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.poohbear_nc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Quote:
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I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable!
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Old 03-20-2017, 06:16 AM   #9637
drjd
The Couch Potato
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The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.

She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Tallahassee."

The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
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Old 03-21-2017, 05:48 PM   #9638
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
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Old 03-22-2017, 06:01 AM   #9639
drjd
The Couch Potato
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I use particle physics textbooks as roof shingles, because I'm quantum-plating my existence.
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Old 03-22-2017, 11:36 AM   #9640
orlok
Close to the Edit!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
I use particle physics textbooks as roof shingles, because I'm quantum-plating my existence.
Ouch!
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Old 03-23-2017, 07:09 PM   #9641
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Trees are relieved when Spring comes.
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Old 03-23-2017, 07:18 PM   #9642
Glorfindel
Force-Aware Elf
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It's hard explaining puns to kleptomaniacs, they always take everything literally
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Old 03-24-2017, 05:52 AM   #9643
drjd
The Couch Potato
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It's hard explaining puns to kleptomaniacs, they always take everything literally
My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, he takes something for it.
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Old 03-24-2017, 05:53 AM   #9644
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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One of life's mysteries - How can a two pound box of candy make a person gain five pounds.
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Old 03-24-2017, 01:17 PM   #9645
badgoodDeb
Grand Sorcerer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glorfindel View Post
It's hard explaining puns to kleptomaniacs, they always take everything literally
Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, he takes something for it.

Groannnnnn to both of you!
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