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Old 04-01-2017, 08:07 PM   #1
books2345
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Post 'Mother's Prison'. A True Story of One Family

I kept silence because I was afraid of death. It is really hard to live with pain from childhood and its consequences. I cannot keep silence anymore. Of course, I will be killed by somebody, I know it. However, I would like to share my truth with you. Even after 2 years. I think justice is not dead.

So, today I'm ready to discuss it.

Soon, I heard voices out the flat. One women, one man. They call the ring. Watching through the eyespot I recognized my Mother. What? What's wrong? The man started striking the door with his shoulder. What could I do? I called the police.
-Good evening. What has happened? Lieutenant Mamaeva is online.
-Hello, miss. Please, help me. Somebody tried to break into my flat. I know they are enemies. Please, do something.
-Don't worry. Police squad is ready. Please, wait.
I put my phone on the table. The door was successfully broken. I saw the man and my Mother together. Yes, the man after «Cherny Delfin». Tall balled man. The example of typical Russian bandit we can see in many films or serials.
-You, bastard! Come here. - Dan said. The air fulfilled by smell of cheap alcohol.
-What? Who are you? What do you want? I have called the police. You'd better get out here! - I shouted. To tell you the truth, I really was afraid of it. From the one hand, when the door was your shield you could feel safe and warm. And from the other hand, when the tall big bandit stood in front of you, it is another ques- tion...
-Piece of shit, I will kill you! - he shouted, caught me like a landlord caught a slave and started beating.
Mother was laughing.


Mother's Prison: A True Story of One Family
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Old 04-02-2017, 08:02 AM   #2
Dr. Drib
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Welcome to Mobileread.

If this short example is any indication of the issues you face with the English language, then you should seriously think about withdrawing your novel from Amazon and have it professionally edited.

For example:

"tall balled man"
"The air fulfilled by smell..."
"I kept silence because...."
"...I heard voices out the flat"
"You'd better get out here"
"From the one hand..."
"..it is another ques- tion"
"..he shouted, caught me like"

As can be seen by these many examples, you face serious syntactical and grammatical issues. As well, there are issues regarding tense.

Once these issues are addressed, you will have a much better chance of 'selling' your ebook.

Thank you.

Last edited by Dr. Drib; 04-02-2017 at 10:42 AM.
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