The Vent and Rant Thread

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

Just one month to go before the deadline of the court and my uncle has to tell the judge whether he wants to appeal the decision or not. Knowing my uncle he will let the judge know at the last possible minute. Unless he asks for (and gets) more time to make the decision. Which is what I'm afraid of.

You must be positively fraught about this. Cannot WAIT to see how it work out.

Meanwhile we're also busy with the judge overseeing my uncle's curatorship. Almost four months ago we send a letter telling the judge why we won't sign off on my uncle's final report (it isn't strictly necessary, but the courts likes us to do so). In the letter we wrote about my uncle's fraud and the decisions the judge made we thought were wrong.

Uhhhhhhh....gotta say, not sure I would have outlined to the judge where he screwed the pooch, not unless you worded it brilliantly...

Since then we haven't heard from the judge. After a month we called the court and they told us the letter had just been delivered to the judge. After another month we called again and then the head clerk was on vacation and they promised to call us back. They didn't. Two weeks later there hadn't been a decision yet. For the last four or five weeks my mother has been calling every week. They promise to look into it and call us back, which they don't do. The past two weeks the judge was on vacation. Now we've decided to ask our lawyer to write a letter asking what the hold up is. I can understand that the whole case has become complicated, but if the judge needs more time she should let us know. Now it just feels like she's stringing us along.

Well...I would definitely read-in the lawyer in on this. I don't know how it is there, but directly contacting the judge, here, would have been, well, frowned upon is probably the nicest way a judge would see it. I mean...you must obviously do things differently there, but still, the judge may be getting aggravated, about all the contact, and they can be real @$$h***s about that kind of thing. Especially when they sort of have the power of life/death over your case.

Good luck. Let us know what the lawyer thinks!

Hitch

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Well...I would definitely read-in the lawyer in on this. I don't know how it is there, but directly contacting the judge, here, would have been, well, frowned upon is probably the nicest way a judge would see it. I mean...you must obviously do things differently there, but still, the judge may be getting aggravated, about all the contact, and they can be real @$$h***s about that kind of thing. Especially when they sort of have the power of life/death over your case.

Good luck. Let us know what the lawyer thinks!

Hitch

We didn't contact the judge directly, but the clerks' office. A previous letter also wasn't delivered by the clerks until we called to ask if they had received it after not hearing from them after six week. So now we are more pro-active. As I said we can understand that the judge needs more time, but at least let us know how long. And don't promise to call back when you won't (they can forget that once or twice, but it has happened so many times it can't be an accident). We have a sneaky suspicion the judge is waiting how the other court case turns out.

[Blossom]

Today hasn't been a good day. Hubby is having one of his episodes. This time get this he's rationing my dish soap. Yep you heard it right. I've been slowly trying to get the dishes that have been sitting for months done. He says I'm using too much. It's from the Dollar Tree and it's pretty watered down. Earlier today he blamed me for destroying his confidence by telling his mom he has social anxiety issues. He refused to leave the house till I had a meltdown because I hadn't eaten in 14 hours. He ate right in front of me. I finally got a meal in me but I'm just so wishing this day was over or he'd go to sleep so his brain would reset.

Sent from my Nexus 7

[Rumpelteazer]

Big hug for you Blossom, hopefully you both feel better soon.

[wodin]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

We didn't buy eggs last Sunday which is why I called the store. Every carton we checked had broke eggs.

Uh... open TWO cartons, swap the broken eggs for unbroken ones and you end up with two cartons, one broken and one not... buy the one without the cracks.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Today hasn't been a good day. Hubby is having one of his episodes. This time get this he's rationing my dish soap. Yep you heard it right. I've been slowly trying to get the dishes that have been sitting for months done. He says I'm using too much. It's from the Dollar Tree and it's pretty watered down. Earlier today he blamed me for destroying his confidence by telling his mom he has social anxiety issues. He refused to leave the house till I had a meltdown because I hadn't eaten in 14 hours. He ate right in front of me. I finally got a meal in me but I'm just so wishing this day was over or he'd go to sleep so his brain would reset.

Sent from my Nexus 7

Does it "reset?" IME--which is moderate, given how we have several BP's married into our family, or in my spouse's married-ins--they don't. This sort of controlling behavior is usually a stepping stone, onto worse behavior.

Honestly, BP or not, if he'd pulled that crap with me I'd have said "fine, you don't like how I'm doing it? YOU can do it."

I don't know how you put up with it. I'd be at the "see a doctor, or get out" stage, myself. Given everything else, who needs that aggro? And NOT eating, and all that? You're going to end up making yourself crazy, and then what?

Hitch

[CRussel]

Originally Posted by wodin

Uh... open TWO cartons, swap the broken eggs for unbroken ones and you end up with two cartons, one broken and one not... buy the one without the cracks.

Duh!

[Rumpelteazer]

Our lawyer called back today and she was appalled that after sixteen weeks the judge hasn't replied to our letter. She suspects that it's a case of it'll go away if I ignore it long enough. She's going to write a letter. Luckily my mother kept a log of when she called, who she spoke to and what was said.

To clarify: this isn't a court case. This is the judge overseeing my uncle's curatorship of my grandmother. After many delays (my grandmother died in January 2016) the judge wanted him to send in his final report. My dad and aunt, as heirs, have to sign off on that report, or not. Both my father and aunt won't, because of my uncle's fraudulent behavior and because of mistakes and wrong decisions, in our opinion, the judge made. If we sign it would be harder to take action in future if we wanted to. And we probably will, at least going after my uncle because of fraud. All contact with the court/judge was not through lawyers. Though every letter we have send was checked by our lawyer first.

After our lawyer has written a letter we'll have to wait and see what happens. If the judge doesn't react soon we're probably going to send in a complaint to the court and/or ombudsman.

To be continued...

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

Our lawyer called back today and she was appalled that after sixteen weeks the judge hasn't replied to our letter. She suspects that it's a case of it'll go away if I ignore it long enough. She's going to write a letter. Luckily my mother kept a log of when she called, who she spoke to and what was said.

To clarify: this isn't a court case. This is the judge overseeing my uncle's curatorship of my grandmother. After many delays (my grandmother died in January 2016) the judge wanted him to send in his final report. My dad and aunt, as heirs, have to sign off on that report, or not. Both my father and aunt won't, because of my uncle's fraudulent behavior and because of mistakes and wrong decisions, in our opinion, the judge made. If we sign it would be harder to take action in future if we wanted to. And we probably will, at least going after my uncle because of fraud. All contact with the court/judge was not through lawyers. Though every letter we have send was checked by our lawyer first.

After our lawyer has written a letter we'll have to wait and see what happens. If the judge doesn't react soon we're probably going to send in a complaint to the court and/or ombudsman.

To be continued...

AH-HAH, I get it. Estates. Yup, Estate administration and Probate judges can be real PITA's. Seriously, no matter what country you're in.

He's probably hoping that you'll either sort it out, or, as you said, he's awaiting the final ruling (or lack of appeal) on the other case. That would simplify his job significantly.

Otherwise, he's forced to work through everything you've given him, to determine whether or not your uncle DID defraud the estate, and that's a real box of worms.

Yup, I get it now. My sympathies--I've dealt with estate admins before, and yes, indeedy--major pain.

Hitch

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by Hitch

AH-HAH, I get it. Estates. Yup, Estate administration and Probate judges can be real PITA's. Seriously, no matter what country you're in.

He's probably hoping that you'll either sort it out, or, as you said, he's awaiting the final ruling (or lack of appeal) on the other case. That would simplify his job significantly.

Otherwise, he's forced to work through everything you've given him, to determine whether or not your uncle DID defraud the estate, and that's a real box of worms.

Yup, I get it now. My sympathies--I've dealt with estate admins before, and yes, indeedy--major pain.

Hitch

Yep, it's a mess. We know the judge doesn't like making decisions without taking the other courtcases into account. Before she has delayed giving a reaction to letters to wait the outcome of other court cases. Plus, twice my uncle did something he should have asked the judge's permission for (including selling the house to a third party). When she found out she gave him retroactive (?) permission, so as not to influence other court cases.

As I said before, maybe the judge has a valid reason for delaying sending her reaction to us. However, let us know and don't let us wait for four months (or longer).

The stress has caused a flare-up of my eczema, which sucks. I kept waking up last night because of an itchy neck. Nothing worked until I made a cold compress.

[Katsunami]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Today hasn't been a good day. Hubby is having one of his episodes. This time get this he's rationing my dish soap. Yep you heard it right. I've been slowly trying to get the dishes that have been sitting for months done. He says I'm using too much. It's from the Dollar Tree and it's pretty watered down. Earlier today he blamed me for destroying his confidence by telling his mom he has social anxiety issues. He refused to leave the house till I had a meltdown because I hadn't eaten in 14 hours. He ate right in front of me. I finally got a meal in me but I'm just so wishing this day was over or he'd go to sleep so his brain would reset.

While I can understand that your husband took you away out of an unhealthy household with regard to your mother and sister (as far as I've been able to surmise from your posts), I think this isn't a healthy relationship either. Has your husband looked into the possibilities to getting help somehow?

'I don't know how you put up with it. I'd be at the "see a doctor, or get out" stage, myself.'

I'd have to agree with Hitch here.

My own relationship is great at the moment (although it's only been going for 9 months). We had one little 'fight', lasting about 10 seconds, when she snapped at me for something trivial after a long day. I told her that I absolutely don't tolerate irrational/idiotic behavior or fighting. If I did something you don't like, just tell me, explain why, and in what way you think it would be better. We haven't had a single argument since.

=====

I've ordered some stuff for my girlfriend that is about 50% cheaper in the UK and Germany than it is in the Netherlands.

Some of it was ordered in the UK, other parts were ordered through Amazon Germany, all on Sunday last week.

The stuff from the UK is already here, and Amazon Germany is still jacking around with shipping it!

- "Your order will be shipped soon."
- "Your order will be shipped on the 14th." (It wasn't shipped.)
- "Shipment is being prepared."
- "Your order will ship today."
- "Your order will be shipped soon." (???)

A different part is still at "Your order will be shipped soon."

Fracking Amazon Germany... come on! You've got 20+ of each in stock. It has been three days. Ship it already! I'm normally not very impatient, but seeing a product shipped from the UK in less than 3 days (Ordered on Sunday, sent on Monday, delivered on Wednesday) while Amazon Germany is still getting around to actually sending their stuff, three days after ordering it, sets my teeth on edge.

[Katsunami]

Oh, and on a different note: I detest these huge differences in pricing, and Amazon dynamic pricing as well.

It's almost impossible to get the true worth of some of the stuff I try to buy. One of the articles I've bought is priced as such (ex shipping, which is €4-7 euro).

- Netherlands (all stores, seems fixed): €119
- UK stores: €89 (after conversion from pounds)
- Amazon UK: (doesn't have this article)
- Amazon Germany: €59

These are the normal prices.

So that's €30 off the price between The Netherlands and the UK stores. Amazon Germany takes off another €30. So the English and Dutch people are being ripped off to a great extent... especially the Dutch.

Then I went to order this article last Sunday, I was surprised to see it listed for €38! I ordered it, and kept checking the price the next few days. At some point it even dropped to €35. Today, I checked if it was shipped already, accidentally clicked the link to the article instead of the tracking page, aaaaaaaaand... it's back to €58,95 again. (Obviously my order is still listed as €38.)

If you just buy the article in the Netherlands, you're being ripped off at least €30 or €60 compared to the UK or Germany, but if you buy at the right time, you can save another €24.

An €84 price difference... I think it's ridiculous I have to shop all over Europe to get stuff at a decent price and still run the risk of paying way too much because of a sudden price drop. How can I get a sense of the worth of something when it's like this?

(I bought this same article for myself a year ago, paying €82 in The Netherlands, on sale, but I needed it in a hurry and didn't have time to shop around.)

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Katsunami

Oh, and on a different note: I detest these huge differences in pricing, and Amazon dynamic pricing as well.

It's almost impossible to get the true worth of some of the stuff I try to buy. One of the articles I've bought is priced as such (ex shipping, which is €4-7 euro).

- Netherlands (all stores, seems fixed): €119
- UK stores: €89 (after conversion from pounds)
- Amazon UK: (doesn't have this article)
- Amazon Germany: €59

These are the normal prices.

So that's €30 off the price between The Netherlands and the UK stores. Amazon Germany takes off another €30. So the English and Dutch people are being ripped off to a great extent... especially the Dutch.

Then I went to order this article last Sunday, I was surprised to see it listed for €38! I ordered it, and kept checking the price the next few days. At some point it even dropped to €35. Today, I checked if it was shipped already, accidentally clicked the link to the article instead of the tracking page, aaaaaaaaand... it's back to €58,95 again. (Obviously my order is still listed as €38.)

If you just buy the article in the Netherlands, you're being ripped off at least €30 or €60 compared to the UK or Germany, but if you buy at the right time, you can save another €24.

An €84 price difference... I think it's ridiculous I have to shop all over Europe to get stuff at a decent price and still run the risk of paying way too much because of a sudden price drop. How can I get a sense of the worth of something when it's like this?

(I bought this same article for myself a year ago, paying €82 in The Netherlands, on sale, but I needed it in a hurry and didn't have time to shop around.)

You moved to the US and went to Target, Penney's, Walmart and Sears?
Or Walmart, HEB's and Albertsons?
Prices vary widely on the same product.

Grocery store example sales:
Butter (their brand) is on sale at one store $3 a pound. Another store has a brand name for $2.89 a pound. Sweet potatoes are either 4 pounds for $1 or 5 pounds for $1.
One store has turkey 38 cents a pound with $25 purchase. Another is 77 cents a pound. A third has buy a fancy ham get a turkey free or 98 cents a pound.

Note those are sale prices. Regular prices vary just as wildly.

[Katsunami]

Those are just cents.

I can buy Big Name Brand bottled water here, which costs like €2.95 a litre, because it's zchpeczial™. If you buy bottled water from Store Brand, you'll get it for as low as €0.35.

Even though that's a price difference of almost 10x, it's about less than €3, and I can _see_ those prices when I'm standing in front of the shelves. In my case above, it's a difference up to €84, and I have to search stores throughout Europe. Even if I find the best price/shipping cost/shipping time option (which is often Germany for me), it seems that 'best price' can fluctuate up to €24, in a matter of days.

The product I bought in the UK had been at €65 for a few days, until my GF actually decided to buy it; it was €45 for the weekend when I got it for her. Now it's back to €65 again.

In the end, I (or more accurately, she) paid €38 and €45, in Germany and the UK, for products that would have cost €119 and €89 in the Netherlands. €83 vs. €198... (even when bought in the worst case, without the temporary discounts that happened at exactly the right time, the price difference would still have been 59+65= €124 vs. €198.)

I think such price differences for EXACTLY THE SAME PRODUCT are idiotic. I positively feel ripped off with my €82 "deal" last year, even though I saved €37 over the normal price at that time.

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Katsunami

Those are just cents.

I can buy Big Name Brand bottled water here, which costs like €2.95 a litre, because it's zchpeczial™. If you buy bottled water from Store Brand, you'll get it for as low as €0.35.

Even though that's a price difference of almost 10x, it's about less than €3, and I can _see_ those prices when I'm standing in front of the shelves. In my case above, it's a difference up to €84, and I have to search stores throughout Europe. Even if I find the best price/shipping cost/shipping time option (which is often Germany for me), it seems that 'best price' can fluctuate up to €24, in a matter of days.

The product I bought in the UK had been at €65 for a few days, until my GF actually decided to buy it; it was €45 for the weekend when I got it for her. Now it's back to €65 again.

In the end, I (or more accurately, she) paid €38 and €45, in Germany and the UK, for products that would have cost €119 and €89 in the Netherlands. €83 vs. €198... (even when bought in the worst case, without the temporary discounts that happened at exactly the right time, the price difference would still have been 59+65= €124 vs. €198.)

I think such price differences for EXACTLY THE SAME PRODUCT are idiotic. I positively feel ripped off with my €82 "deal" last year, even though I saved €37 over the normal price at that time.

Do me a favor please. Put every cent you get in a jar. Save it for one year. I do think you would be surprised.
That turkey alone adds up to $14. Not to mention the time and expense to go buy groceries.
I just did some quick math. Those cents added up to dollars awfully quick.
Oh wait I am sorry. I forgot you don't do pounds. Change my previous posts from pounds to 2.2 kilograms.
So yes, that 11 cents savings on butter may not seem like much to you but if I buy 10 lbs, that is $1.10 saved. On the sweet potatoes 10 lbs would be 50 cents saved.
It isn't that much per each but it adds up quickly.

As to the true price of something: what is the market willing to pay?

Example: I can get Mexican vegetables super cheap, issybird can get real maple syrup cheap. (We live in the same country.)
Prices vary.
There is an online store called wish.Com, they may have 4 prices for the same item. Come to think of it Amazon is the same way.

I don't think there is a set price for anything (except maybe ISBN).