03-17-2010, 07:16 PM | #1 |
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request for comments on my poetry
I have been keeping track of the number of downloads of my poetry.
I am interested in your comments. Mediocre ? Boring ? Interesting ? Not a good treatment of the subject ? Hard to follow ? Makes good contextual sense ? Waste of time ? A good read ? Not interested in poetry ? Not interested in my poetry ? Or what ever else you think of them. PM me if you would rather your comments were private. Thank you, regardeless of what you say. |
03-20-2010, 11:12 PM | #2 |
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looks like this can be deleted. I really did want feedback, so I can improve.
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03-21-2010, 12:53 AM | #3 |
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Joebill, what's the link to your poetry? I searched on "Joebill" and got quite a few hits.
Is this what you're referring to? https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76415 If so, I don't know what Veteran's Day is. I might not understand this poem, but I'll take a look... Edit: OK, I understand most of it, but there's plenty of terms I'll have to google to get the full meaning. "Dawn" touched me and I had shivers at the end. With ANZAC day next month, I saw many parallels to the Australian/New Zealand experience in Gallipoli. Sad, sad, sad. Your poem is beautifully written and I found it very moving. I want to understand your references better. And... it's a very nicely formatted ePub, see photo. Last edited by cbell; 03-21-2010 at 01:25 AM. Reason: Added photo |
03-21-2010, 02:20 AM | #4 | |
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Quote:
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03-22-2010, 04:36 AM | #5 |
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My poetry here is under my name Pierce, Jim
Veterans' Day is like Rememberance Day. I wrote poems for those days to honor veterans. Big Boys: aircraft carriers Little Boys, the escorts, Destroyers and Destroyer escorts. That part of 'dawn' is about the battle off Leyte in the Phillipines in 1944. it involved Taffy 3 and a Japanese Fleet. Taffy 3 was a group of CVEs, escort carriers who planes were doing ground support, and their destroyer guardians. The biggest gun on them was 5". The Japanese Fleet had the Yamato, with 18.1" guns. The destroyers and destroyer escorts attacked the Japanese fleet to protect the carriers. Most didn't survive. My poems arep osted in the epub book forum, just do a search on 'Pierce, Jim' and you will see the list. I do drop a number of societal references into my poems. So if you need one explained, don't hesitate to ask. |
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03-22-2010, 04:39 AM | #6 | |
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Quote:
I have been told by a few folks that they can close their eyes, after reading my poetry, and they can imagine a short movie from what I wrote. 'eyelid movies' one person called them. I use Atlantis word proccessor to 'save as' epub. I find it works well. |
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03-22-2010, 01:03 PM | #7 |
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I like the idea but it needs to be tightened up. It sounds a little like a textbook now. You could use symbolism instead of just naming the different ships and planes.
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03-28-2010, 10:23 AM | #9 |
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Mar 28, 2010 post
sf: spaceships hiss by my window https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=78604 |
04-06-2010, 08:14 PM | #10 |
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April 6, 2010, my newest posts.
Starship Pilot Hero ! https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79482 winter, snow, clouds, aurora borealis https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79483 a distant song... https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79484 headlights https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79487 |
04-15-2010, 05:15 PM | #11 |
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April 15, 2010:
The Littlest Nightingale https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80432 I cry when I read it. |
04-19-2010, 08:39 PM | #12 |
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April 19, 2010
The Coin Operated Time Machine https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80830 Star Lit Guitar https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80831 Out of curiosity, does anyone think one of the poems of mine could be turned into a short story ? Thanks. |
04-20-2010, 06:44 PM | #13 |
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April 20, 2010
Drive-In Movie in the Lonesome Desert Night https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80905 I have 2 other ones about drive-in movie theaters. One of them is a Halloween type poem. I have been thinking about posting the 3 poems as one download. What do you think ? |
05-02-2010, 08:54 PM | #14 |
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May 2, 2010
A compilation of poems: the Black Velvet series and two Galaxies like Dust poems that intersected for a bit. https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82296 |
05-08-2010, 09:29 PM | #15 |
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Mother's Day, 2009
https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82989 |
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dawn poem |
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