Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 652

orlok · 06-17-2017, 07:47 AM

Mummy Balloon and Daddy Balloon have a little baby balloon and for the first few weeks, he sleeps in the same bed with Mummy Balloon and Daddy Balloon, but as he grows older and bigger, Daddy Balloon insists he sleeps in his own bed. Baby Balloon doesn't like being all alone, he misses his Mummy and Daddy, so much that after a few nights he tries to sneak back into Mummy Balloon and Daddy Balloon's bed, only to find that he had grown too big to fit in the bed with them. He decides to let some air out of Mummy Balloon, but there's still not enough room, so he let's some air out of Daddy Balloon, but again there's not enough room, so he lets some air out of himself and finally he fits into the bed...
...Well the following morning Daddy Balloon is furious.
"I am very disappointed in you!" says Daddy Balloon, "not only have you let your Mother down, .... but you have let me down and let yourself down."

Fbone · 06-17-2017, 07:27 PM

Teacher: Who answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

drjd · 06-18-2017, 05:13 AM

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?"

His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.

When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"

Fbone · 06-18-2017, 08:33 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?

She wanted to lay it on the line

drjd · 06-19-2017, 09:32 AM

Q: What kind of key opens a banana?

A: A monkey.

drjd · 06-20-2017, 11:09 AM

A man walked into a bar and heard, "Great tie!" He looked around and seeing no one, he heard again, "Beautiful suit!" Wondering what was going on, he saw the bartender walk up and said, "I heard a voice talking about my suit and tie, and that they looked cool, but no one's around. Dude, what's up?" The bartender smiled, "Oh yeah, those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

drjd · 06-23-2017, 07:09 AM

Where was the toothbrush invented?

Mississippi.

If it would've been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

drjd · 06-25-2017, 05:56 AM

Anyone who can't make dirty puns has clearly lost all crud ability.

Fbone · 06-28-2017, 01:46 AM

Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.

Fbone · 06-28-2017, 06:44 PM

I tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage.

I lost my case.

Fbone · 06-29-2017, 09:05 PM

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

PoP · 06-30-2017, 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

...and me II

drjd · 06-30-2017, 06:53 AM

Johnathan asked his young son, 'Greg, do you think I’m a bad father?'

'My name is Andrew,' replied his son.

davidfor · 07-01-2017, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Johnathan asked his young son, 'Greg, do you think I’m a bad father?'

'My name is Andrew,' replied his son.

I tell a lot of the jokes in this thread to one of my sons. But, somehow I don't think whatsisname will find this one funny.

Fbone · 07-01-2017, 01:09 AM

Did you know taller people sleep longer in bed?

06-17-2017, 07:47 AM	#9766
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Apol;ogies in advance... Mummy Balloon and Daddy Balloon have a little baby balloon and for the first few weeks, he sleeps in the same bed with Mummy Balloon and Daddy Balloon, but as he grows older and bigger, Daddy Balloon insists he sleeps in his own bed. Baby Balloon doesn't like being all alone, he misses his Mummy and Daddy, so much that after a few nights he tries to sneak back into Mummy Balloon and Daddy Balloon's bed, only to find that he had grown too big to fit in the bed with them. He decides to let some air out of Mummy Balloon, but there's still not enough room, so he let's some air out of Daddy Balloon, but again there's not enough room, so he lets some air out of himself and finally he fits into the bed... ...Well the following morning Daddy Balloon is furious. "I am very disappointed in you!" says Daddy Balloon, "not only have you let your Mother down, .... but you have let me down and let yourself down."

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06-17-2017, 07:27 PM	#9767
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Teacher: Who answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

06-18-2017, 05:13 AM	#9768
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"

06-18-2017, 08:33 PM	#9769
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line

06-19-2017, 09:32 AM	#9770
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Q: What kind of key opens a banana? A: A monkey.

06-20-2017, 11:09 AM	#9771
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A man walked into a bar and heard, "Great tie!" He looked around and seeing no one, he heard again, "Beautiful suit!" Wondering what was going on, he saw the bartender walk up and said, "I heard a voice talking about my suit and tie, and that they looked cool, but no one's around. Dude, what's up?" The bartender smiled, "Oh yeah, those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

06-23-2017, 07:09 AM	#9772
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Where was the toothbrush invented? Mississippi. If it would've been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

06-25-2017, 05:56 AM	#9773
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Anyone who can't make dirty puns has clearly lost all crud ability.

06-28-2017, 01:46 AM	#9774
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.

06-28-2017, 06:44 PM	#9775
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.

06-29-2017, 09:05 PM	#9776
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I, for one, like Roman numerals.

06-30-2017, 06:53 AM	#9778
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Johnathan asked his young son, 'Greg, do you think I’m a bad father?' 'My name is Andrew,' replied his son.

07-01-2017, 01:09 AM	#9780
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Did you know taller people sleep longer in bed?