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Old 11-28-2012, 12:08 PM   #5686
Hamlet53
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Originally Posted by orlok View Post
I only know seven cowboy jokes

But they are magnificent
Yeah, but all seven were originally in Japanese.
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Old 11-28-2012, 12:18 PM   #5687
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Yeah, but all seven were originally in Japanese.
Ummm... I thought they were in Italian.
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Old 11-28-2012, 12:23 PM   #5688
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumabjorn View Post
The Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says "We don't allow Higgs boson in here. The Higgs boson says, "But without me how can you have mass?"
I can picture Sheldon telling that joke...
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Old 11-28-2012, 01:46 PM   #5689
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Is that a sandwich?
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A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.

One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell is MOLASSES!"
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Old 11-28-2012, 03:36 PM   #5690
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hamlet53 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
I only know seven cowboy jokes

But they are magnificent
Yeah, but all seven were originally in Japanese.
Heh. I actually understood both of those. I'm having a pretty good day.
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Old 11-28-2012, 03:52 PM   #5691
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totally
But remember, Sheldon is not crazy, his mom had him tested !

Quote:
Originally Posted by MJK2111 View Post
I can picture Sheldon telling that joke...
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Old 11-28-2012, 04:57 PM   #5692
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fbone View Post
"Geez, all I can smell is MOLASSES!"
<groan>
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Old 11-28-2012, 06:45 PM   #5693
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
I only know seven cowboy jokes

But they are magnificent
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hamlet53 View Post
Yeah, but all seven were originally in Japanese.
There are times when this place actually frightens me.


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Old 11-28-2012, 09:18 PM   #5694
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A friend asked me; "At your ripe old age, what would you prefer to get - Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?"

I answered, "Definitely Parkinson's. Better to spill half an ounce of whisky than to forget where you keep the bottle!"


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Old 11-29-2012, 06:48 AM   #5695
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It reminds me a joke I knew about Heaven...
But it can wait, I suppose.
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Old 11-29-2012, 06:03 PM   #5696
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A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!"

Confused, the father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Santa speech'. At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no tooth fairy' speech.

"If you're going to tell me that grown ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for!"
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Old 11-29-2012, 11:37 PM   #5697
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"Give it to me!" She yelled.
"I'm so wet, give it to me now!"
She could scream all she wanted.
I was keeping the umbrella.
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:19 AM   #5698
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"I'm going out to scrape the car" said my wife this morning.


"Against what?" I asked.
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Old 11-30-2012, 05:15 AM   #5699
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
"I'm going out to scrape the car" said my wife this morning.


"Against what?" I asked.




(where are you sleeping tonight?)


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Old 11-30-2012, 08:22 AM   #5700
Nexutix
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From the car joke I remembered computer-generated joke. ("Computational humor" on Wikipedia)
Q: What is different between leaves and car?
A: One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.
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