05-30-2010, 01:52 PM | #1 |
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Awesome pick up lines
Spring is here and love is in the air. Here are some guaranteed "ice-breakers" to help you single folks out. (disclaimer: I am not responsible for any slaps in the face or butt whoopings received)
--------- * Did you fart? Because you blew me away... * Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? * Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? * Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. * I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'! * Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are! * Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend. * You've been a bad girl. Go to my room. * I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night? * You’re so hot, that when I look at you I get a tan… * Was your father an alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you! * Your Daddy must have been a baker, cause you got the nicest set of buns I've ever seen. * You look like my third wife! (How many have you had?) Two. * Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus. * I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out. * Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted? * Life without you would be like a broken pencil... pointless. * Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice. * I'm like chocolate pudding; I look like crap but I’m as sweet as can be. * Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'. * Do you have a Band-aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you. * Giant polar bear (What?) It's an icebreaker. Hi, my name is.... * If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice? * Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? * You look so sweet you’re givin’ me a toothache. * Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only TEN I see... * Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after. * Damn girl, you have more curves than a racetrack. * I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list. * Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street. * Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good. * Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged! * Do you want to see something swell? * Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest? * If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie. * Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell. * Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts. * Do you know what'd look good on you? Me. * Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tacs? * Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on! * You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear. * Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don't recognize you with your clothes on * I bet you $40 you're gonna turn me down. * I know that Milk does the body good, but wow, how much you been drinking? * Save a horse, ride a cowboy. * Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine. * That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed. * I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle. * You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast. * Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? * You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. http://www.funny-pick-up-lines.com/funny.html |
05-30-2010, 05:59 PM | #2 |
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"Get your coat, you've pulled" was always my favourite - though I only dared try it when rat-arsed, so my recollection of its effectiveness is...er...hazy.
EDIT: Maybe you have to be from "up north" to appreciate - or even understand - it. |
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05-30-2010, 06:42 PM | #3 |
Now what?
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Are you actually married to an American woman, or did you have to resort to mail order?
[No disrespect intended to American women - or women of any nationality - only incredulity that anyone would listen to these lines.] [Dear Mrs. h_t - WTF?] |
05-30-2010, 06:52 PM | #4 |
Wizard
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Get an e-book like "Double your Dating" from David DeAngelo. These methods work.
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05-30-2010, 07:46 PM | #5 |
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05-30-2010, 08:23 PM | #6 |
Bah, humbug!
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05-30-2010, 08:34 PM | #7 |
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05-30-2010, 08:36 PM | #8 |
Bah, humbug!
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05-30-2010, 08:53 PM | #9 |
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It is pretty much a daily occurrence in my house.
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05-30-2010, 08:56 PM | #10 |
Bah, humbug!
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What's wife doing at your house?
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05-30-2010, 09:02 PM | #11 |
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erm...we been together for 14 years. Only time I dont see her is the last week of each month when she goes away for a week to visit her aunt I have never seen.
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05-30-2010, 09:19 PM | #12 |
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05-30-2010, 09:23 PM | #13 |
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I have never once met her aunt Flo.
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05-30-2010, 09:25 PM | #14 |
Bah, humbug!
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So the only time of the month you don't see her is when she's with Flo?
I think HT's pulling our leg! |
05-30-2010, 10:12 PM | #15 |
It's Dr. Penguin now!
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