Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 533

cromag · 08-16-2014, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PieMan597

How about this? It is Mexico in Maine. It always makes people driving from southern USA to Canada very, very confused.
Mexico in Maine

... And don't forget the woefully inaccurately named town of Jersey Shore, Pennsylvania. You can't begin to count all of the people who think they've made great time, and take the wrong exit off the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

DMcCunney · 08-16-2014, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

... And don't forget the woefully inaccurately named town of Jersey Shore, Pennsylvania. You can't begin to count all of the people who think they've made great time, and take the wrong exit off the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

A co-worker, decades ago, had been in the Army, and at one point was stationed in Texas. He and a couple of his buddies had gotten a three day pass, signed out a jeep, and were off to a town in the area.

They got a little confused in their directions. They wound up in a town by that name...in Kansas. They had an interesting time explaining to their sergeant just why they were several days overtime getting back from their pass...

______
Dennis

PieMan597 · 08-17-2014, 04:42 PM

This is a good exercise plan!

Fbone · 08-17-2014, 06:35 PM

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

MJK2111 · 08-18-2014, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

Did you mean:

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

or

Three men walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks?

Or even better, three men walk into a bar WITH ducks...

Fbone · 08-18-2014, 09:19 PM

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

A: It's okay. He woke up.

Bilbo1967 · 08-19-2014, 05:16 AM

Every year at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, one joke is awarded the 'best joke' prize. This year it has been won by Tim Vine with;

Quote:

I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust.

PeterT · 08-19-2014, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

Every year at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, one joke is awarded the 'best joke' prize. This year it has been won by Tim Vine with;

Ah well; I was too slow off the mark with posting this one!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotlan...-fife-28838287

MJK2111 · 08-19-2014, 12:24 PM

I've decided to become an author and write about little people.

It will be a series of short stories.

PieMan597 · 08-19-2014, 04:02 PM

Star Wars Humor:

Fbone · 08-19-2014, 04:52 PM

Q: What did one hat say to another?

A: You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

WT Sharpe · 08-20-2014, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

Every year at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, one joke is awarded the 'best joke' prize. This year it has been won by Tim Vine with;

WT Sharpe · 08-20-2014, 12:14 AM

My sister's a church organist. One of her daughters posted this on Facebook:

cromag · 08-20-2014, 01:10 AM

Alright! Stairway to Heaven, Gladys!!

poohbear_nc · 08-20-2014, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

Alright! Stairway to Heaven, Gladys!!

I worked at an 'assisted living/nursing home' while I was in grad school - and helped set up the weekly 'sing-a-longs' -- and reflected that when the baby boomers hit the nursing homes, they will be singing Stairway to Heaven in those shrill geriatric voices!

08-17-2014, 04:42 PM	#7983
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	This is a good exercise plan! Attached Thumbnails

08-19-2014, 04:02 PM	#7990
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	Star Wars Humor: Attached Thumbnails

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08-17-2014, 06:35 PM	#7984
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

08-18-2014, 09:19 PM	#7986
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? A: It's okay. He woke up.

08-19-2014, 12:24 PM	#7989
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	I've decided to become an author and write about little people. It will be a series of short stories.

08-19-2014, 04:52 PM	#7991
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Q: What did one hat say to another? A: You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

08-20-2014, 12:14 AM	#7993
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,073 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	My sister's a church organist. One of her daughters posted this on Facebook:

08-20-2014, 01:10 AM	#7994
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 24,289 Karma: 459220161 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	Alright! Stairway to Heaven, Gladys!!