Unutterably Silly Chaos in the land of Pinwheel

[ravenne]

[mtravellerh]

[ravenne]

Originally Posted by mtravellerh

Hey, it´s 11 in the morning - well, okay, it´s a Swedish author and a suspenseful story, so should be okay

[Slite]

Chapter 3

Llama, Llama and Duck, oh my!

Vivaldi and Montsnmags quickly followed the trail that lead them ever deeper into the woods. Vivaldi with his nose just fractions of an inch above the ground. Monts attention directed straight ahead, eagerly trying to catch a glimpse of their fleeing prey, but all that could be seen were trees and more trees. (Which isn't so odd considering they were in the forest after all, what with the old Pinwheel saying that you can't see the RWood for all the trees.)

“Are we gaining?” Monts asked as they ran along the trail

“Not really. They seem to be fast buggers. Strange that they manage to drag the Queen along at this pace. Unless she's unconscious of course, that would explain why we haven't spotted any blood-spatter, hair-tufts, or the occasional bitten off earlobe or fingertip along the way. If she were awake, she would put up one heck of a fight I would imagine”

Montsnmags grinned to himself as he got the mental image of four guys trying to fit a pissed-off cat with a severe catnip hangover into a way to small shoebox.

“Yeah” he said “I know what you mean, if she was conscious, they wouldn't make even half as good a time as they are doing, she'd make sure of it.”

To the right of them the undergrowth got thicker and thicker, consisting mostly of poison-ivy and brier.
And even Montsnmags could figure out that the kidnappers hadn't gone that way. The trail however was leading them along the edge of what was looking more like a brier-hedge with each step they took.
After a couple of minutes the hedge had become an impenetrable obstacle to their right which there was absolutely no way to pass without tearing yourself to shreds on the thick brier-thorns.

“Good thing we don't have to go that way” VR said indicating the hedge to their right “Hair is not a good insulator against them thorns, and I got such delicate skin”

“True,” Monts answered “but as long as the dumbos we are following aren't going in there, neither are we. Lead on, oh hairy companion on four legs!”

They raced along the hedge as fast as they could, Vivaldi just taking a quick whiff now and then to make sure they were still on the track. All of a sudden he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Something happened here” he said, looking around with his ears alert and tail wagging slowly. He pranced around for a bit, humming softly to himself.

“Ok, they rested here for a bit it seems. The two guys we are chasing sat over here” He indicated a spot on the ground, “They had a quick bit to eat...” He inhaled deeply thorough his nose “hmmm... cheesypoofs? Yeah, cheesypoofs!” VR sniffed around a bit more “Ah, here the Queen lay” He said indicating next to a log that lay on the ground. “Definitly unconcious! How have they managed to keep her unconcious for a week?”

“Never mind that, we'll get the answer to that question when we catch up with them” Montsnmags said “How far behind them are we now?”

“About an hour, not more than an hour and a half” VR said with confidence.

“Ok, let's go then!” Monts did a quick check of his weapons while Vivaldi picked up the trail.

“Oh, and VR, no singing WHATSOEVER!” Monts said.

“Right, Boss” Vivaldi said as he heaved a deep sigh and headed off down the trail along the hedge again.

Monts and VR followed the trail which headed down along the brier-hedge without deviating a single inch as it seemed. It was so straight in fact that Vivaldi just had to take a quick whiff every 50 yards or so just to make certain that they didn't loose it.

Suddenly VR slammed on the brakes almost leaving skidmarks on the grass.

“CAMELIDS!”

“Huh?” Montsnmags said stopping just as quickly and staring around in confusion.

“Over there” VR said pointing with his paw

“Oh! Alpackas?” Monts said

“Nope, it's a llama, a llama and... DUCK!”

“What? I don't see no duc...”

FWAP

Montsnmags picked himself up from the ground while Vivaldi without success tried not too laugh his buttcheeks off

“I DID try to warn you boss!” Vivaldi said before falling over howling with laughter

“Yeah, yeah, yeah” Montsnmags said as he spotted the Squirrowl that had smacked into him dropping him to the ground.

“Damn them nearsighted Squirrowls, they should have their flightstatus revoked and be grounded for life!” Monts growled as he tried to dust himself off, glare at the squirrowl and ignore the hysterically giggling dog, all at the same time. He did not succeed all that well.

“WOOT!” the squirrowl said as it sat blinking on the ground a few yards away, it ruffled it's feathers into place before it waddled off into the hedge with a final “WOOT!”

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Slite

Montsnmags grinned to himself as he got the mental image of four guys trying to fit a pissed-off cat with a severe catnip hangover into a way to small shoebox.

huh. that's a pretty good description of my mental state when someone forces an early morning meeting on me, as well. (word to the wise : don't.)

“Nope, it's a llama, a llama and... DUCK!”

“What? I don't see no duc...”

FWAP

Montsnmags picked himself up from the ground while Vivaldi without success tried not too laugh his buttcheeks off

“I DID try to warn you boss!” Vivaldi said before falling over howling with laughter

“Yeah, yeah, yeah” Montsnmags said as he spotted the Squirrowl that had smacked into him dropping him to the ground.

“Damn them nearsighted Squirrowls, they should have their flightstatus revoked and be grounded for life!” Monts growled as he tried to dust himself off, glare at the squirrowl and ignore the hysterically giggling dog, all at the same time. He did not succeed all that well.

“WOOT!” the squirrowl said as it sat blinking on the ground a few yards away, it ruffled it's feathers into place before it waddled off into the hedge with a final “WOOT!”

WOOT !!! paaa hahahahaha !!!! squirrowls !!! oh, poor am is going to have nightmares !!! brilliant !

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by ravenne

Hey, it´s 11 in the morning - well, okay, it´s a Swedish author and a suspenseful story, so should be okay

[vivaldirules]

OMG, another one! I'm just going to have to throw my Reader away. It just interferes with Life in the Lounge (that, by the way, is the subject, and perhaps title, of an upcoming book to be coauthored by all the drunken and/or demented deniizens of this place and to be edited by HarryT.)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

OMG, another one! I'm just going to have to throw my Reader away. It just interferes with Life in the Lounge (that, by the way, is the subject, and perhaps title, of an upcoming book to be coauthored by all the drunken and/or demented deniizens of this place and to be edited by HarryT.)

don't you mean Llife in the Llounge ?

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Slite

Ack... now I just have to work budgie-smugglers into this... Thank you sooooooo very much Nate.... /me goes of trying to figure out how the heck I'm gonna pull this one off

why don't you just explain that that is why the citizens of pinwheel so dread being ruled by nate the great, bizarre cousin of the queen ?

...it makes sense to me...

oh, i have to stop quoting bits to giggle at them explicitly. i'm going to end up quoting the entire thing word for word, and that is really pointless.

[vivaldirules]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

don't you mean Llife in the Llounge ?

:loldoggie:

[Greg Anos]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

OMG, another one! I'm just going to have to throw my Reader away. It just interferes with Life in the Lounge (that, by the way, is the subject, and perhaps title, of an upcoming book to be coauthored by all the drunken and/or demented deniizens of this place and to be edited by HarryT.)

I got a case of Pearls on ice....Red

[Slite]

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

I got a case of Pearls on ice....Red

I constantly have to quaff large amounts of Glögg to finish the one I'm on

Might have to switch to Zany Carters Patricia to get a hold of all the loose ends and tie up the bag in the end though

Unless of course, Marc manages to finish the Zany Carter Glögg before I'm done, that would probably work even better

[ravenne]

Originally Posted by Slite

I constantly have to quaff large amounts of Glögg to finish the one I'm on

Might have to switch to Zany Carters Patricia to get a hold of all the loose ends and tie up the bag in the end though

Unless of course, Marc manages to finish the Zany Carter Glögg before I'm done, that would probably work even better

I´m sure, it would, I´m very sure

[Slite]

Chapter 4

Love is a warm Trebuchet

“Enough with the laughing already, dog!” Montsnmags said as he glared at Vivaldi who was still rolling around on the ground giggling madly

“I.. hihihi ..can't.. snicker ..stop.. snort ..laughing” Vivaldi managed to get out between the giggles

A faint “WOOT!” could be heard from within the hedge, causing Vivaldi to collapse into new fits of hysteria.

“Get up dog, we have a Queen to rescue if you recall?” Montsnmags said while he considered how the howling dog would look without his googly bits.

“Sorry boss, but the look on your face was absolutely priceless” the still snickering dog said as he managed to get a hold on himself long enough to stand up on all fours again.

“Yeah, yeah, lead on or kiss your googly bits goodbye!” Montsnmags snarled as he indicated the direction they had been going in before the interruption.

The two llamas stood where they had been all through this, chewing slowly on some grass, looking long after Montsnmags and VivaldiRules as they headed of into the woods. The llamas looked at each other, chewed for a bit, and then did the llama equivalent of a shrug and went back to grazing, vanishing out of this adventure after unknowingly having served as a great distraction for the immense gratification of a certain talking dog.

Our two intrepid adventurers is however off on the hunt again. Though they have lost some ground due to the whole llama and squirrowl incident. While they are running along Montsnmags glares at his fourlegged companion and says

“By the by dog, if I EVER hear about this incident from anyone.....”

“Would I tell anyone about this Boss?” Vivaldi asked in his most innocent tone of voice

“You better not! Or the ladies down at the Pink Poodle will have one less customer that brings home the bacon!”

“Right Boss, my lips are sealed!” VR said but couldn't stop himself from whispering WOOT to himself.

They ran along in silence, almost silence, anyhow, it was broken now and then by a whispered WOOT and some giggling. The forest started to thin out and the brier-hedge grew lower to finally vanish altogether, as at the same time they came to a large clearing.

“FIRE!”

SPLONK-CHUNK

There was few moments of silence before a huge ball of something came hurtling towards them, crashed into the ground a hundred yards to their left and on impact hurtling gobs of hot, sticky cheese in every direction.

“What the heck?” Monts said as he scanned the clearing ahead.

“Bacon'n'cheese balls!” Vivaldi stated as he headed for ground zero sniffing happily

Montsnmags spotted a trebuchet at the other end of the clearing

“Let's go dog, you get Bacon'n'Cheese when we are done, not before!” Monts said as he started towards the trebuchet.

VivaldiRules heaved a sigh, looked longingly at the mess of bacon and cheese before he trotted of after monts, muttering silently to himself. As they drew near the site where the trebuchet stood, they spotted a man in a white labcoat wandering around with a notebook in his hand. The man bent over the trebuchet, looked at his notebook, shook his head and made some kind of adjustment to the machine.

“Hello pshrynk” Monts said as they drew nearer.

The man who was indeed pshrynk, Pinwheels minister of health and armsdevelopment looked up with a start. Smiled happily and said “AH! Monts and Vivaldi, how good to see you!”

“I thought you were supposed to be on vacation” Vivaldi said

“Oh, that was just a coverstory, to make it possible for me to develop our latest weapon of massdestruction in peace and quiet” pshrynk said nodding towards the trebuchet. “We figured if we could use one of these to fling Bacon'n'Cheese-balls, we could stop the enemy in his tracks. You ever tried to walk through hot, sticky cheese? We did try clotted cream at first, but do you have any idea what that does to a trebuchet? We had to break the whole thing apart all the time to clean it.”

pshrynk turned back to the trebuchet and started tinkering with it as Montsnmags and VivaldiRules looked at each other, rolled their eyes and sighed in unison.

“pshrynk,” Monts said “we are following two men who has kidnapped the Queen. Have you seen anyone pass here?”

pshrynk spun around staring at Montsnmags

“The Queen has been kidnapped????”

Monts nodded

“Yes, a week ago, and we've been on their trail ever since. We tracked them through the woods to this clearing.”

“Sorry” pshrynk said “I haven't seen anyone all day, well, apart from you two that is”

Monts pondered this for a moment before looking at Vivaldi
“Go see if you can pick up their trail and come get me once you find it”

“Okidokie Boss” Vivaldi said before taking of at a run

“Do you know who is responsible for the kidnapping?” pshrynk asked worriedly

“No, not yet, but I plan to find out, and whomever is behind this will not be a happy camper when I do”

“Ok, we need to talk about this one of these days, all that pent up anger is not good for you” pshrynk said “too bad I don't have my couch around here.”

“Never mind the couch doc. Just make sure you get this thing working, we might need it before this mess has been solved” Monts said nodding att the trebuchet.

A happy bark from Vivaldi indicated that he had picked up the trail

“See you around Doc!” Monts said as he headed off after VR

“That will be $300, pay the laddy at the door...” pshrynk said absentmindedly as he waved, turned back to his trebuchet and promptly forgot that Monts and VR had ever been there....

[Mindy]

An attack on Her Royal Personage? Surely not!!!
(I just got here )
It's brilliant, somewhere between Alice in Wonderland and The Princess Bride. What a way to start a Friday! (well, where I'm concerned anyhoo)