06-04-2009, 05:02 PM | #1 |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
Posts: 639
Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
|
NO PETS!!!
I found this letter and reply emails from entensity.net. I decided not to link since some of my friends were complaining of pop ups... here's the contents. Trust me it's worth the read...
... I some how suspect that this David miiight be a MR member... First comes the letter that's attached then the responses follows like so... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Pets in the building Hello David I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Hello David You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok. Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, They are very small ducks. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. . Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets. Helen |
06-04-2009, 05:05 PM | #2 |
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
Posts: 27,827
Karma: 921169
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Paris, France
Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?
|
madam broshkina ? is that you ???? |
Advert | |
|
06-04-2009, 05:20 PM | #3 |
Still Easily Confused
Posts: 889
Karma: 505319
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hampshire/Berkshire/Surrey - yes I am that big
Device: Kindle
|
Awesome lol
|
06-04-2009, 06:19 PM | #4 |
Wizard
Posts: 2,148
Karma: 8229
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: on the road again
Device: kindle
|
sounds like some of the people I work with
|
06-04-2009, 06:24 PM | #5 |
WWHALD
Posts: 7,879
Karma: 337114
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK
Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here
|
|
Advert | |
|
06-04-2009, 06:41 PM | #6 |
Wizard
Posts: 2,615
Karma: 96491
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Montreal, Qc
Device: xxx
|
Too good! |
06-04-2009, 06:44 PM | #7 |
That guy, no not that guy
Posts: 337
Karma: 2846
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Device: PRS600 Red
|
Too funny!!
|
06-04-2009, 08:30 PM | #8 |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
Posts: 639
Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
|
|
06-04-2009, 08:40 PM | #9 |
Addict
Posts: 394
Karma: 1546
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Bristol, UK
Device: Waiting for a kindle!
|
David sounds just like my flatmate - I'm trying to work out whether he could have done this as it's the way he talks most of the time.
It's mostly fun to live with, although I'm trying to find the off switch (or at least a pause button) as sometimes I'd just like to know the answer to the question ... |
06-04-2009, 08:43 PM | #10 | |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
Posts: 639
Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
|
Quote:
have you seen the Dave Chapelle show..? he has this awesome sign that everyone should have in thier lives. He tookk the idea from the award shows, they flash this at the speakers when they are getting annoying... |
|
06-04-2009, 08:49 PM | #11 | |
Addict
Posts: 394
Karma: 1546
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Bristol, UK
Device: Waiting for a kindle!
|
Quote:
Mostly he makes me laugh but sometimes I really just want to know if there's any bread in the house/if he's still going to be away at the weekend/where he's put the tea bags. |
|
06-05-2009, 05:32 AM | #12 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
Posts: 27,600
Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
|
great email exchange - it's wonderful how that makes a readable story .....
|
06-05-2009, 11:29 AM | #13 |
Wizard
Posts: 2,148
Karma: 8229
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: on the road again
Device: kindle
|
alpha you are quite welcome to the folks I work with!
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Do you have pets? | Over | Lounge | 103 | 11-14-2011 03:18 PM |