Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 474

pilotbob · 10-04-2013, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Speaking of sharks...

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer passed away last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."

The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer DIED last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"

Everyone hates lawyers, until the day they really need one.

BOb

yvanleterrible · 10-04-2013, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

Everyone hates lawyers, until the day they really need one.

BOb

I'm sorry if I offended you. I too think it's rather violent but the point I like of the joke is that didn't see it coming...

Fbone · 10-04-2013, 08:54 PM

I have a feeling she did.

Stitchawl · 10-04-2013, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

Everyone hates lawyers, until the day they really need one.

BOb

Actually... even after we need them, we often still really hate them.

When scuba diving, we often carry attache cases with us when diving shark-infested waters. The sharks think we're lawyers and leave us alone out of Professional Courtesy...

Stitchawl

benham · 10-04-2013, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Speaking of sharks...

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer passed away last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."

The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer DIED last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"

When I heard it, it was about the Vikings. A guy calls the Viking ticket office and asks for two tickets to the Vikings in the Superbowl. The receptionist says, the Vikings aren't in the Superbowl. etc. etc.

WT Sharpe · 10-05-2013, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I have a feeling she did.

If she ever dates an English teacher she'll regret the two commas in that sentence.

yvanleterrible · 10-05-2013, 08:49 AM

What's a dicision? The action of cutting dice?

Fbone · 10-05-2013, 06:05 PM

Well, it's no longer backwards.

wannabee · 10-05-2013, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

What's a dicision? The action of cutting dice?

She might have made it a little BIGGER
And chicked the spilling

What gets me of how proud kids are of their new tatts and can't wait to show them off no matter how bad they are. My friend's daughter got a tatt of a daffodil and you'd sware it was a yellow penis. I neglected to point that out to her though.

cromag · 10-06-2013, 01:16 PM

I've always told my kids that they could get any tattoo or piercing they wanted. There was just one rule -- they had to let me do it.

So far, no takers.

Fbone · 10-06-2013, 05:15 PM

It's still a little funny.

HomeInMyShoes · 10-07-2013, 11:28 AM

That is perhaps the stupidest shirt I've ever seen.

I was going to say that the tattoo seemed a little ironic.

Fbone · 10-07-2013, 02:01 PM

Lady Blue · 10-07-2013, 02:16 PM

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Bompa65 · 10-07-2013, 02:46 PM

I'm so old now I don't buy green bananas!

10-07-2013, 02:46 PM	#7110
Bompa65 Connoisseur Posts: 50 Karma: 14858 Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Ontario, Canada Device: Kobo Vox	Age I'm so old now I don't buy green bananas!

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10-04-2013, 08:54 PM	#7098
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I have a feeling she did.

10-05-2013, 08:49 AM	#7102
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	What's a dicision? The action of cutting dice?

10-05-2013, 06:05 PM	#7103
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Well, it's no longer backwards.

10-06-2013, 01:16 PM	#7105
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 24,293 Karma: 459220161 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	I've always told my kids that they could get any tattoo or piercing they wanted. There was just one rule -- they had to let me do it. So far, no takers.

10-06-2013, 05:15 PM	#7106
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	It's still a little funny.

10-07-2013, 11:28 AM	#7107
HomeInMyShoes Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,226 Karma: 67780237 Join Date: Jul 2011 Device: none	That is perhaps the stupidest shirt I've ever seen. I was going to say that the tattoo seemed a little ironic.

10-07-2013, 02:01 PM	#7108
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus

10-07-2013, 02:16 PM	#7109
Lady Blue the snarky blue one Posts: 6,001 Karma: 3877825 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: deep in the heart Device: PRS500, 505 & 600, PRST1 & T2, Kindle PW, Moto Razr, Galaxy Tab 2-10"