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Old 06-23-2020, 05:40 AM   #11026
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.
A $40 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.
The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
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Old 06-24-2020, 06:39 AM   #11027
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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What do you call fake potatoes?

Imitaters!!!!
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Old 06-26-2020, 06:38 AM   #11028
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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So if google glass got a virus..
Would it be called malware or malwear?
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Old 06-26-2020, 09:24 PM   #11029
wodin
Illiterate
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I thought Google Glass was a virus.
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Old 06-27-2020, 06:10 AM   #11030
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Police Officer: "How high are you?"

Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
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Old 06-29-2020, 05:58 AM   #11031
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I made an abacus by threading string through polo mints. It has improved my menthol arithmetic.
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Old 06-30-2020, 06:17 AM   #11032
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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On his first day back to work after the birth of his son, Randy's supervisor said, "I understand you have a new youngster at your house?"

Randy glanced around apprehensively, "For heaven's sake, you can't hear him all the way out here, can you?"
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Old 07-02-2020, 05:36 AM   #11033
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I have trouble admitting my mistakes.
It's not my fault.
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Old 07-03-2020, 03:20 AM   #11034
cromag
Surfin the alpha waves ~~
cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.cromag ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.
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Old 07-03-2020, 06:02 AM   #11035
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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What do you call octopus twins that look exactly alike?

Itenticle.
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Old 07-05-2020, 05:08 AM   #11036
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?"

Me: "I Excel at it."

Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word"
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Old 07-06-2020, 05:55 AM   #11037
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half!
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Old 07-06-2020, 06:56 AM   #11038
Adoby
Handy Elephant
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half!
I can make head or tails of that joke!
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Old 07-06-2020, 07:05 AM   #11039
pdurrant
The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠
pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pdurrant ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I can make head or tails of that joke!
If you think that the head of a cat looks like the tail of a cat, you have a very strange cat, or you need to visit an opticians.
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Old 07-06-2020, 07:13 AM   #11040
Bilbo1967
Not scared!
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Wouldn't it depend on the axis you sliced the cat in half along?
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