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Old 07-11-2019, 07:00 AM   #10531
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I asked the doctor how my check-up went. All he said was, 'Get will soon.'
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Old 07-11-2019, 01:18 PM   #10532
wodin
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Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Old 07-11-2019, 11:26 PM   #10533
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
My local college just announced the end of a scientific study...Results showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.
Well... that one is pretty easy because of the commas but your Karma number is pretty difficult to read.
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Old 07-12-2019, 06:49 AM   #10534
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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A tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at a farmhouse to ask if he could be stay there for the night.

“Well, we’re mighty crowded since there’s already someone in the spare room,” replied the farmer. “But I guess you can stay if you don’t mind sharing the bed with a tall blonde.”

The tourist puffed out his chest and replied, “That’s fine by me and in case you’re worried, I want you to know I’m a gentleman.”

“Well,” mused the farmer, “as far as I can tell, so is the tall blonde.”
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Old 07-12-2019, 09:07 AM   #10535
gridlewak
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A pastor noticed one of the younger parishioners, little Jimmy, looking at a plaque on the wall inside the entry of the local church one day. He approached him to chat.............

Pastor: Good morning Jimmy.
Jimmy: Good morning Pastor. Could you please tell me what this plaque is for?
Pastor: This plaque has the names of all the parishioners that died in the service.
Jimmy: Which one? The 8 o'clock one or the 10?
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Old 07-13-2019, 06:06 AM   #10536
drjd
The Couch Potato
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My uncle had surgery and became a superman, and then the anesthetic wore off.
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Old 07-14-2019, 08:34 AM   #10537
drjd
The Couch Potato
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Why did the slave go to college? So he could pickup his Master's degree.
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Old 07-16-2019, 05:56 AM   #10538
drjd
The Couch Potato
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The patient goes to the dentist and says, "I have yellow teeth, what should I do?"

The dentist replies, "Wear a brown tie."
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Old Yesterday, 05:28 AM   #10539
drjd
The Couch Potato
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A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma.

For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding.

Finally the old girl passed away.

On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years."

His wife looked at him aghast... "My Aunt Emma?" she cried, "I thought she was your Aunt Emma!"
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