09-11-2018, 04:35 PM | #181 |
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09-11-2018, 04:55 PM | #182 |
o saeclum infacetum
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09-11-2018, 07:01 PM | #183 | |
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I'd like to see how you manage having more than a full-time job, married, 2 kids and 4 pets to clean up after, school arrangements, after school activities, own an older home that always seems to be needing some work and repairs, an acre of lawn to keep mowed and landscaping cleaned up. Come back then and say we're doing things wrong because the commute to work might be the only time available to read in a particular day. I don't think you're intentionally trying to be provocative. You're just very naive about life. |
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09-11-2018, 08:41 PM | #184 | |
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I'll cut out the rant about how social anxiety does not equal autism and the use of the word issue to describe behavior the speaker doesn't approve of. |
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09-12-2018, 12:04 AM | #185 | |
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"A conversation won't kill you"? Killing me is a pretty low bar, I think. How about "not starting a conversation with this specific person at this time won't kill you"? Not wanting to be engaged by strangers 100% of the time I'm out in public doesn't make me socially anxious, or autistic, or in need of therapy, not that there is anything wrong with being any of those things. Sometimes I'm chatty, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I'm in a lot of pain, sometimes I'm at the edge of exhaustion but need to get an errand run, sometimes I'm preoccupied, or sometimes I'm just sick to death of strangers asking "What's wrong with you?" or "Would you like a prayer, dear?" Last edited by meeera; 09-12-2018 at 12:11 AM. |
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09-12-2018, 12:24 AM | #186 |
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Maybe it's people who can't sit quietly and entertain themselves but feel compelled talk to anyone nearby, whether that person is interested or not, who have issues
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09-12-2018, 12:41 AM | #187 |
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And if the claim is that constantly chattering to random strangers is the norm, they shouldn't have any trouble finding others who wish to chat with them.
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09-12-2018, 05:38 PM | #188 |
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This thread now reminds me of the comments on a rant youtube video I made many years ago when I owned and lived in a house in an area which became saturated by students. It was called, provocatively, "I Hate Students". (If you look at it now, the comments layout has changed, my replies have been disconnected from the original comments. Youtube changed this some time ago.)
The majority of the comments came from students who hated the video; I replied to their remarks, but then others would make comments covering areas I'd already dealt with in prior responses. The same thing is happening here, and I hate to repeat myself. Riplinger: your assessment of my situation couldn't be further from the truth; I'm much older than you seem to assume. I owned the "student area" house for 30 years before selling up and moving to my second home, the one I now share with three cats who stay in at night, so I'm familiar with cleaning litter trays, but this only takes a few minutes. I've taken on lots of responsibility in my life, such as running a small feral cat rescue in my previous home. I am single (never said yes to those who asked) and don't have children by both choice and it having been inadvisable due to medical issues. I'm now long past child-bearing age. I have to cope with a long-term medical problem I've had all my life, which makes it impossible for me to hold down a job. Naive? You must be joking! I grew up at the age of 11 when my mother left home. At 14 I spend several months in care before going to live with my brother and his wife. From here I went to live with a boyfriend in Stratford, then off to Uni where I did a degree in Literature. After that life was a hellish adventure. I wish I were young and niave! You started on the personal stuff, so you got it. ekbell: for most of human existence we lived in smaller communities where most of the people we met in public would be known to us. Large cities and international travel are relatively modern. Certainly medieval man or woman would suffer tremendously if transplanted to a large urban environment. Viewing our fellow man as a potential enemy is also modern. In smaller communities this label would only be placed onto other groups. In a way our worlds have shrunk from community to nuclear family, anything beyond the members of the nuclear family are considered dangerous: stranger danger. I think this is a very sad viewpoint and not one I take. meera: there is an inherent contradiction in this situation: "a person who reads in public places and hates being spoken to,". This person likes reading. They also dislike human interaction while reading. Conclusion: find a private place to read. Question: why is this person reading in public places? The question could become the crux of the story, the situation and reasons leading to why this character reads in public when they hate human interaction while reading. But the simple answer is: find somewhere else, somewhere private to read. Misinterpret this as you will. Attack what you think my personal situation is. Do what you like. Zodwallop: "For those that don't like being talked to on threads either?" This thread is becoming like the slightly threatening person who asks what you're reading but isn't interested in your reply, instead they harangue you with veiled insults. In this position there is only one course of action: to leave the situation. There's a difference between this and the garrulous but pleasant old lady on the bus (she might be me, but I don't take buses). |
09-13-2018, 01:30 AM | #189 | |
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For those occasions when someone does insist on talking to me, I will admit to doing monologues which are pretty much guaranteed to have the average listener rolling in the aisle on the way to the exit. What, you don't want to hear more about MPLS compared to Frame Relay or ATM? You don't care about the joy of setting the DIP switches on ARCnet cards? You've never thought about the effect that quantum computing is likely to have on encryption? What about zero bit insertion and constellation choices in high speed modems over POTS? How could you not want to learn more about these topics? |
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09-13-2018, 11:09 AM | #190 |
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Viewing our fellow man as a potential enemy is also modern. In smaller communities this label would only be placed onto other groups
I'm not sure where you got this idea that viewing strangers as potential enemies is modern. My oldest daughter collects folk tales which are full of warnings against the stranger (unless they are elderly women in need of help). My point, however, was that it was normal and to be expected for many (not all) people to find talking to strangers stressful and that there is no need to consider such a person in need of help. I was not trying to imply that such strangers should be viewed as potential enemies. Risky could simply be the risk of humiliation, such as the young man who completely embarrassed himself trying to chat up my oldest (he had a most unfortunate slip of the tongue). While I don't think someone needs to consider every random person encountered in a public venue as a conversational partner, I do agree that it's best if the circle of familiar people is larger then one's family. It's good to have people other then family and random people met in public venues to talk to. I also think that it is completely reasonable to exchange pleasantries to those frequently encountered. Speaking of having no choice in venue: Yesterday I was at the dentist's office, noting how the seats filled up (people appeared to want maximum distance from each other) and reading on my tablet. I confess I'm a nervous nelly at the dentist and when nervous I'm awful at making conversation. Just sitting and thinking is also a bad idea. But the point is that no one was happy conversing. BTW having lived in a apartment with no green space, I consider reading or otherwise spending non-conversational time in a park to be a reasonable activity worthy of being respected. I haven't seen people reading in public other than in parks or during unavoidable waits. |
09-13-2018, 01:44 PM | #191 |
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09-15-2018, 03:13 AM | #192 | |
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I don't view everyone outside my nuclear family as an enemy, by the way. I have a large and varied circle of friends and acquaintances. I don't think I became friends with any of them after a random public conversation. I befriend people with whom I share interests and activities, not because we have a common doctor or pharmacist or whatever. Last edited by meeera; 09-15-2018 at 03:15 AM. |
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09-15-2018, 07:38 AM | #193 | |
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That was wife-speak for, "Don't you want to entertain me?" Some people are actually upset at the idea you enjoy something that doesn't involve, include, or matter to them. Now, I live with my dog. He's fine with me reading. I'm happy. My ex-wife isn't happy. |
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11-24-2018, 04:40 AM | #194 |
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sounds like that episode who refused to let Burgess Meredith read in"Time Enough at Last'
which i'm sure has been mentioned before but your story made me think of that |
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