Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 487

yvanleterrible · 12-13-2013, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.

Is that a trick question???

Sweet one!

Fbone · 12-14-2013, 02:18 PM

We have nothing to fear.

orlok · 12-15-2013, 01:22 PM

Settled down to watch Obama at the Mandela gig with my hard-of-hearing wife the other day.

Apparently, Space Shuttle Atlantis is due to have a baby next buffalo.

Fbone · 12-15-2013, 07:31 PM

This is from the French shop where politeness receives a discount.

Cyberman tM · 12-16-2013, 01:02 PM

Inspired by meetings I had to endure today:

When the world ends, it'll look just like a christmas present.

Because of all the red tape.

(I'm quite sure I'm not the first one to put that sentiment into this thought, but I did think of it my own, I think.)

Fbone · 12-16-2013, 05:18 PM

Office meetings. Where minutes are kept and hours lost.

Fbone · 12-17-2013, 01:32 PM

This works better in the movies.

MJK2111 · 12-17-2013, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

This is from the French shop where politeness receives a discount.

sorry, but it's all Greek to me...

Pablo · 12-17-2013, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJK2111

sorry, but it's all Greek to me...

A coffee cup.....................................7 euro
A coffee cup, please...........................4.25 euro
Good morning, a coffee cup, please.......1.40 euro

If you ask nicely, the price goes down...

piperclassique · 12-17-2013, 03:18 PM

Uh huh. 1€40 is the normal price. So actually it is a surcharge for rudeness.

orlok · 12-17-2013, 03:22 PM

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing £1000 bet.

The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people had tried .... over time: weightlifters, dockers, etc., but nobody could do it.

One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, "I'd like to try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "OK"; grabbed the lemon; and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence .... as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon .... and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the £1000, and asked the little man: "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

The little fellow quietly replied: "I work for the Inland Revenue."

yvanleterrible · 12-17-2013, 07:09 PM

If I may...

Prices for coffee.

-"Coffee!".......................7€
-"Coffe, please!"..............4.25€
-"Good day!, coffee, please!"....1.40€

It's a french...well, greek coffee shop owner's plea and campaign to bring back politeness in the public world.

samhy · 12-18-2013, 04:17 AM

Regarding the coffee, I've heard that on the news two weeks ago. It's from a coffee shop in Nice (no pun intended

).
However, I've seen that when I was in Rome a couple of months ago.

doubleshuffle · 12-18-2013, 05:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Thanks for this. Very funny. I'm going to use Fairytale of New York in one of my evening school classes tonight, and this will fit very nicely on the lyrics sheet.

WT Sharpe · 12-18-2013, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samhy

Regarding the coffee, I've heard that on the news two weeks ago. It's from a coffee shop in Nice (no pun intended

).
However, I've seen that when I was in Rome a couple of months ago.

Nice was great. Keith Emerson was their organist.

12-17-2013, 07:09 PM	#7302
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	If I may... Prices for coffee. -"Coffee!".......................7€ -"Coffe, please!"..............4.25€ -"Good day!, coffee, please!"....1.40€ It's a french...well, greek coffee shop owner's plea and campaign to bring back politeness in the public world. Last edited by yvanleterrible; 12-17-2013 at 07:12 PM.

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12-14-2013, 02:18 PM	#7292
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	We have nothing to fear.

12-15-2013, 01:22 PM	#7293
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Settled down to watch Obama at the Mandela gig with my hard-of-hearing wife the other day. Apparently, Space Shuttle Atlantis is due to have a baby next buffalo.

12-15-2013, 07:31 PM	#7294
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	This is from the French shop where politeness receives a discount.

12-16-2013, 01:02 PM	#7295
Cyberman tM Evangelist Posts: 439 Karma: 2248782 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Austria Device: Inkbook Prime; Icarus Illumina;ImcoV6l;EB600;Kobo	Inspired by meetings I had to endure today: When the world ends, it'll look just like a christmas present. Because of all the red tape. (I'm quite sure I'm not the first one to put that sentiment into this thought, but I did think of it my own, I think.)

12-16-2013, 05:18 PM	#7296
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Office meetings. Where minutes are kept and hours lost.

12-17-2013, 01:32 PM	#7297
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	This works better in the movies.

12-17-2013, 03:18 PM	#7300
piperclassique A garbling groftpot Posts: 974 Karma: 9234667 Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: France Device: Oasis, Voyage, Kobo mini, Samsung tablet, phones, whatever.	Uh huh. 1€40 is the normal price. So actually it is a surcharge for rudeness.

12-17-2013, 03:22 PM	#7301
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing £1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried .... over time: weightlifters, dockers, etc., but nobody could do it. One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "OK"; grabbed the lemon; and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence .... as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon .... and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the £1000, and asked the little man: "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The little fellow quietly replied: "I work for the Inland Revenue."

12-18-2013, 04:17 AM	#7303
samhy Wizard Posts: 1,820 Karma: 9503859 Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: France Device: (Sony (J) PRS 650), Kobo Mini, Kobo Glo HD	Regarding the coffee, I've heard that on the news two weeks ago. It's from a coffee shop in Nice (no pun intended ). However, I've seen that when I was in Rome a couple of months ago.