The FIRST PARAGRAPH from your novel or short story

Dr. Drib · 02-19-2009, 06:33 PM

And please tell us about it.

Here's a list of things you can think about sharing:

What genre?
Novel/short story?
Plot?
Character(s)
Setting?
Scene?
What else?

Many, many ideas you can mention and discuss with other members when you share your FIRST PARAGRAPH.

Don

Moejoe · 02-19-2009, 06:40 PM

First paragraph (or thereabouts):

---------------------------
At first a whisper.
The soft beating of wings.
Technician Ramirez strolled into the garden of memory and looked up toward the flocking dead above him. A billion and more bright holographic butterflies. Each a soul. Each a life lived and ready to be retold at a moments notice.

--------------------

Novel: The Song of Insects
Setting: Upon the back of a walking city as it crosses from winter into spring.
Plot: When her mother's memory, trapped within a holographic butterfly, is let loose upon the eve of her birthday, Miho embarks upon a journey across the walking city of Istas to retrieve the butterfly and the secrets of the past.

Dr. Drib · 02-19-2009, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

First paragraph (or thereabouts):

---------------------------
At first a whisper.
The soft beating of wings.
Technician Ramirez strolled into the garden of memory and looked up toward the flocking dead above him. A billion and more bright holographic butterflies. Each a soul. Each a life lived and ready to be retold at a moments notice.

--------------------

Novel: The Song of Insects
Setting: Upon the back of a walking city as it crosses from winter into spring.
Plot: When her mother's memory, trapped within a holographic butterfly, is let loose upon the eve of her birthday, Miho embarks upon a journey across the walking city of Istas to retrieve the butterfly and the secrets of the past.

Great! -- Very poetic.

How far are you into it?

Don

Moejoe · 02-19-2009, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Great! -- Very poetic.

How far are you into it?

Don

I'm looking at finishing end of this month (including edits), the first draft is already completed. It should come out at around 50-55,000 words, depending on the edit and I'm hoping to put it up on MobileRead in various formats - I'm learning a lot about .epub at the moment to produce the very best version I can.

Dr. Drib · 02-19-2009, 07:03 PM

Hi, Moejoe.

I can also put it together for you in LRF and mobi/.prc, if you wish.

However, have you also considered professional ebook markets for getting your novel out there?

Let me know if you'd like me to format it for you. I've assembled some books here on MobileRead.

Don

pshrynk · 02-19-2009, 07:07 PM

I'm doing this from memory, because my story is on my home computer:

My top wing was in tatters, the right lower wobbling alarmingly, and the my engine was sputtering its last breaths. I was deep over German territory and a Fokker was lining up on me from behind. My days in the Royal Army Air Force being at an end, I started concentrating on making my retirement stretch out to the years category from mere seconds. It really didn't look good.

An action/adventure tale of a WWI RAAF pilot who goes on to be a bush pilot in Panama. Being as it's me writing, there will be humor. No talking dogs, probably. I'm about three chapters in to the back story, which will be eked out as flashbacks and have started the "real" first chapter.

Moejoe · 02-19-2009, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Hi, Moejoe.

I can also put it together for you in LRF and mobi/.prc, if you wish.

However, have you also considered professional ebook markets for getting your novel out there?

Let me know if you'd like me to format it for you. I've assembled some books here on MobileRead.

Don

Thankyou kindly for the offer

When it's done I'll contact you and take you up on the formatting, as I'm focusing mainly on .epub at the moment and wouldn't know where to start with .mobi and LRF.

At the moment the plan is to put my novel out there without any DRM for free and in as many formats as possible. I'm at the very early stages of a year-long plan with a couple of unpublished authors to set up a site offering their work DRM free and donation-driven also. My work is acting as the guinea pig for the others

We've been investigating avenues of e-book publishing and are unimpressed so far with what we've seen. What we're aiming for is to put the work out as unencumbered by DRM or set-prices as possible and let the work decide its own future. If enough people like said work, we may go a donation route. If the work is poorly recieved, then we'll hold off on the donation but continue to put out the work until there is enough momentum to ask for donations. We're all in agreement that the fiction we produce must be free in the first instance, or available under Creative Commons licensing.

In any case, it's an exciting time to be writing and be involved with ebooks

slayda · 02-19-2009, 07:40 PM

Title - Recycling

Genre - SF

Short story (that I will never write - too much work for a country boy)

Character(s) - Joe, his wife (in civilization), his wife/woman (in the barbaric land)

First Paragraph - "He was bored. 9 - 5 every day. Air conditioned house to air conditioned car to air conditioned office. Shuffle papers and back again. No change, no action, adventure unless you count Betty's nagging every nigh. Why can't something exciting happen. Then one night 'The dream' happened. He was in an arena, fighting for his life."

Plot - Joe's bored with his mundane office job. ... He dreams (as in night time dreams) of being a gladiator. Each night the dream becomes more and more detailed and his days begin to fade until the arena is his life and he forgets the office job. He meets Bet-a-yeh, a beautiful and exciting slave woman. They become lovers. ... His fighting skills continue to improve until no one can give him any competition. Bet-a-yeh begins to get on his nerves and constantly nags. Every day is the same - go to the arena, chop up some opponents & return to Bet-a-yeh's nagging - so boring until one day he dreams of a great city. Everyone there is civilized, no blood & guts. He wishes that was his life. Every night the dreams become more and more real and the area fades to nothing. ...

delphidb96 · 02-19-2009, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

And please tell us about it.

Here's a list of things you can think about sharing:

First storyline:

What genre?
Mainstream/"Chick" Lit.

Novel/short story?

Plot?
Woman meets man, woman falls in love with man, woman is abandoned by man, woman loses best friend to AIDS, woman stands alone (while seeking the future for her child).

Character(s)
Richard Leonard - entering scene. Viewpoint of Stephanie Elaine Hardesty.

Setting?
Local bar, downtown Sacramento, CA.

Scene?
Establishes how Richard first came to the attention of the protagonist, Elaine.

What else?
And here's the opening paragraph:

His stride first caught my eye. He prowled to the bar, never hesitating, never dodging or weaving around the other patrons. It was as if they unconsciously withdrew from his desired path. His motion riveted my attention; I felt compelled to watch his progress to the bar. As I watched, he reached his destination, drew the bartender's attention with a casual wave of his hand and leaned possessively against the rail.

Second storyline:

What genre?
SF

Novel/short story?

Plot?
Four friends face the challenge of creating a life and businesses as independent contractors - in orbit - during the construction of orbital power stations.

Character(s)
Dora Clarissa Priscilla Melinda Barbara Celinda Anne Rodriguez - yes, she IS carrying the weight of all those ancestors in her name.

Setting?
Las Cruces, NM.

Scene?
Establishes that Dora has just graduated and is moving into 'real life'.

What else?
And here's the opening paragraph:

“… Congratulations and farewell, Class of 2009!”

With those words from the Dean, Dora’s classmates sprang to their feet, letting loose with cheers, catcalls and, yes, she heard correctly, even a few Rebel War Yells. She felt… she didn’t know how she felt, but excessive exuberance or joy weren’t it. Yes, she’d graduated from college, the first in her family to do so; her mother and father were a dozen or so rows back, waiting to congratulate her. Why wasn’t she happy, Dora pondered?

Many, many ideas you can mention and discuss with other members when you share your FIRST PARAGRAPH.

Don

And there you have the openings of "With Hesitant Stride" and "Homebrew".

Derek

jaxx6166 · 02-19-2009, 07:51 PM

The first days were always the hardest. It had been six months since I stopped counting the days and the nights. But somehow, somehow — I knew this was the first day. Maybe it was the black fog overhead, or the constant beat of war drums coming ever closer.

"War"

A 1200 word short-short in a PA setting. The POV character is a young father who is never named. His only goal is the safety of his newborn daughter. It doesn't exactly end happy or satisfying. But Planet-Mag picked it up in October of last year. I think you can still find it on their archives. Or I can post what I have here.

Douglas Rhodes · 02-19-2009, 10:14 PM

Let me start by saying I love this new section and plan to bring it to my publishers attention.

What genre: Extreme Horror
Novel/short story: Novel
Plot: "Robert Parker always knew he was a killer—he just needed to let it out. Stuck in traffic behind a driver who won't even attempt the speed limit he realizes the time has come. In the grizzly act of that first murder Robert is born anew. An artist of death and slaughter, he begins to ply his trade in earnest growing bolder with each new victim.

Warned by an enigmatic stranger that he's left too much of a trail, Robert begins a cross country flight from justice, leaving a slew of bodies in his wake. Along the way he encounters a host of deviants, killers, and criminals, all of whom seem to steer him towards the one man who holds the key to Robert's next evolution."

Character(s): Robert Parker, Erik the Red, Bloody Angel, Louis, Gregory, Rachel, and Lilith.
Setting: All across the USA
Scene: At the beginning we have Robert (not his real name) driving in his car.
What else: My website has a full chapter excerpt DouglasAllenRhodes.com

I killed my first person in an act of random choice--more on a whim than because of some preconceived plot. The man I chose did nothing worse than drive far too slow in front of me. My decision to kill him wasn't fueled by rage or anything so primal; I just accepted who I am. I was meant to kill him; to fulfill my role. It's what I've been trained and conditioned for my entire life. I'd learned about it in childhood, studied it throughout my adolescence, and honed my taste for it in the Marines. I am a killer. It's that simple, that beautifully non-complex. But here, I've already made a poor start of this.

If you like what you read, then you can find the novel here.

HarryPigg · 02-26-2009, 12:02 PM

What genre? Nursery Rhyme Noir
Novel/short story? Novel
Plot? Aladdin, a missing lamp and lots of trouble for our hero detective
Character(s) Harry Pigg, Aladdin, Jack Horner, Boy Blue, Cast of Thousands
Setting? Grimmtown
Scene? Harry's Office (think pulp Detective novels)
What else? Hope you enjoy it.

It was another slow day in the office. Actually, it had been
a slow week in the office. No, if the truth be known,
it had been a lousy month for the Third Pig Detective
Agency. That’s me by the way: Harry Pigg, the Third Pig.
Where did the name come from? Well, I was the pig
that built the house out of bricks while my idiot brothers
took the easy route and went for cowboy builders and cheap
materials. Let me tell you, wood and straw ain’t much use
when Mr Wolf comes calling. Those guys were pork-chops
as soon as he drew in his first breath and filled those giant
lungs of his. Blow your house down, indeed.

jaxx6166 · 02-26-2009, 12:58 PM

@ Harry Pigg -

I was a bit confused by your genre and plot, then i scrolled down for the excerpt. That's awesome. I want to see where that goes.

jaxx6166 · 02-26-2009, 12:59 PM

@ Doug -

I read your book the first time it made its way around the MR forums and I have to say I enjoyed it in all its brutal g(l)ory!

Greg Anos · 02-26-2009, 05:47 PM

Just another Wednsday morning, shooting FDR and waiting for the phone to ring. Kinda dull after I had located the Tequila Mafia's heroin stash for the Federales. 600 kilos of horse and enough M-16s to armor a regiment, and the Federales wouldn't even pay a parking ticket I got during the stakeout. They said I shouldn't have been listening to "The Mexican Blackbird" while eyeballin' the place. What the H-ll do they expect me to listen to on the south side, Frank Sinatra? Next thing you know, they'll expect me to dress like a Hoover Doll. After that, I told them they could find their own dopers, at least until they paid my parking ticket. And I figger they oughta start in the White House...

Looks like Red has competition from Harry Pig....

02-19-2009, 06:33 PM	#1
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 44,748 Karma: 55645321 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: Kindle: Oasis 3, Voyage WiFi; Kobo: Libra 2, Aura One	The FIRST PARAGRAPH from your novel or short story And please tell us about it. Here's a list of things you can think about sharing: What genre? Novel/short story? Plot? Character(s) Setting? Scene? What else? Many, many ideas you can mention and discuss with other members when you share your FIRST PARAGRAPH. Don

02-19-2009, 10:14 PM	#11
Douglas Rhodes Connoisseur Posts: 78 Karma: 500132 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Akron, Ohio Device: Blackberry Storm, laptop	Let me start by saying I love this new section and plan to bring it to my publishers attention. What genre: Extreme Horror Novel/short story: Novel Plot: "Robert Parker always knew he was a killer—he just needed to let it out. Stuck in traffic behind a driver who won't even attempt the speed limit he realizes the time has come. In the grizzly act of that first murder Robert is born anew. An artist of death and slaughter, he begins to ply his trade in earnest growing bolder with each new victim. Warned by an enigmatic stranger that he's left too much of a trail, Robert begins a cross country flight from justice, leaving a slew of bodies in his wake. Along the way he encounters a host of deviants, killers, and criminals, all of whom seem to steer him towards the one man who holds the key to Robert's next evolution." Character(s): Robert Parker, Erik the Red, Bloody Angel, Louis, Gregory, Rachel, and Lilith. Setting: All across the USA Scene: At the beginning we have Robert (not his real name) driving in his car. What else: My website has a full chapter excerpt DouglasAllenRhodes.com I killed my first person in an act of random choice--more on a whim than because of some preconceived plot. The man I chose did nothing worse than drive far too slow in front of me. My decision to kill him wasn't fueled by rage or anything so primal; I just accepted who I am. I was meant to kill him; to fulfill my role. It's what I've been trained and conditioned for my entire life. I'd learned about it in childhood, studied it throughout my adolescence, and honed my taste for it in the Marines. I am a killer. It's that simple, that beautifully non-complex. But here, I've already made a poor start of this. If you like what you read, then you can find the novel here. Last edited by Douglas Rhodes; 03-01-2009 at 04:41 PM.

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02-19-2009, 06:40 PM	#2
Moejoe Banned Posts: 5,100 Karma: 72193 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: South of the Border Device: Coffin	First paragraph (or thereabouts): --------------------------- At first a whisper. The soft beating of wings. Technician Ramirez strolled into the garden of memory and looked up toward the flocking dead above him. A billion and more bright holographic butterflies. Each a soul. Each a life lived and ready to be retold at a moments notice. -------------------- Novel: The Song of Insects Setting: Upon the back of a walking city as it crosses from winter into spring. Plot: When her mother's memory, trapped within a holographic butterfly, is let loose upon the eve of her birthday, Miho embarks upon a journey across the walking city of Istas to retrieve the butterfly and the secrets of the past.

02-19-2009, 07:03 PM	#5
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 44,748 Karma: 55645321 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: Kindle: Oasis 3, Voyage WiFi; Kobo: Libra 2, Aura One	Hi, Moejoe. I can also put it together for you in LRF and mobi/.prc, if you wish. However, have you also considered professional ebook markets for getting your novel out there? Let me know if you'd like me to format it for you. I've assembled some books here on MobileRead. Don

02-19-2009, 07:07 PM	#6
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	I'm doing this from memory, because my story is on my home computer: My top wing was in tatters, the right lower wobbling alarmingly, and the my engine was sputtering its last breaths. I was deep over German territory and a Fokker was lining up on me from behind. My days in the Royal Army Air Force being at an end, I started concentrating on making my retirement stretch out to the years category from mere seconds. It really didn't look good. An action/adventure tale of a WWI RAAF pilot who goes on to be a bush pilot in Panama. Being as it's me writing, there will be humor. No talking dogs, probably. I'm about three chapters in to the back story, which will be eked out as flashbacks and have started the "real" first chapter.

02-19-2009, 07:40 PM	#8
slayda Retired & reading more! Posts: 2,764 Karma: 1884247 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North Alabama, USA Device: Kindle 1, iPad Air 2, iPhone 6S+, Kobo Aura One	Title - Recycling Genre - SF Short story (that I will never write - too much work for a country boy) Character(s) - Joe, his wife (in civilization), his wife/woman (in the barbaric land) First Paragraph - "He was bored. 9 - 5 every day. Air conditioned house to air conditioned car to air conditioned office. Shuffle papers and back again. No change, no action, adventure unless you count Betty's nagging every nigh. Why can't something exciting happen. Then one night 'The dream' happened. He was in an arena, fighting for his life." Plot - Joe's bored with his mundane office job. ... He dreams (as in night time dreams) of being a gladiator. Each night the dream becomes more and more detailed and his days begin to fade until the arena is his life and he forgets the office job. He meets Bet-a-yeh, a beautiful and exciting slave woman. They become lovers. ... His fighting skills continue to improve until no one can give him any competition. Bet-a-yeh begins to get on his nerves and constantly nags. Every day is the same - go to the arena, chop up some opponents & return to Bet-a-yeh's nagging - so boring until one day he dreams of a great city. Everyone there is civilized, no blood & guts. He wishes that was his life. Every night the dreams become more and more real and the area fades to nothing. ...

02-19-2009, 07:51 PM	#10
jaxx6166 Wizard Posts: 1,222 Karma: 769316 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eternal summer Device: 350, iPad, PW	The first days were always the hardest. It had been six months since I stopped counting the days and the nights. But somehow, somehow — I knew this was the first day. Maybe it was the black fog overhead, or the constant beat of war drums coming ever closer. "War" A 1200 word short-short in a PA setting. The POV character is a young father who is never named. His only goal is the safety of his newborn daughter. It doesn't exactly end happy or satisfying. But Planet-Mag picked it up in October of last year. I think you can still find it on their archives. Or I can post what I have here.

02-26-2009, 12:02 PM	#12
HarryPigg Alleged Writer Posts: 20 Karma: 498294 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Ireland Device: Sony PRS-505	What genre? Nursery Rhyme Noir Novel/short story? Novel Plot? Aladdin, a missing lamp and lots of trouble for our hero detective Character(s) Harry Pigg, Aladdin, Jack Horner, Boy Blue, Cast of Thousands Setting? Grimmtown Scene? Harry's Office (think pulp Detective novels) What else? Hope you enjoy it. It was another slow day in the office. Actually, it had been a slow week in the office. No, if the truth be known, it had been a lousy month for the Third Pig Detective Agency. That’s me by the way: Harry Pigg, the Third Pig. Where did the name come from? Well, I was the pig that built the house out of bricks while my idiot brothers took the easy route and went for cowboy builders and cheap materials. Let me tell you, wood and straw ain’t much use when Mr Wolf comes calling. Those guys were pork-chops as soon as he drew in his first breath and filled those giant lungs of his. Blow your house down, indeed.

02-26-2009, 12:58 PM	#13
jaxx6166 Wizard Posts: 1,222 Karma: 769316 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eternal summer Device: 350, iPad, PW	@ Harry Pigg - I was a bit confused by your genre and plot, then i scrolled down for the excerpt. That's awesome. I want to see where that goes.

02-26-2009, 12:59 PM	#14
jaxx6166 Wizard Posts: 1,222 Karma: 769316 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eternal summer Device: 350, iPad, PW	@ Doug - I read your book the first time it made its way around the MR forums and I have to say I enjoyed it in all its brutal g(l)ory!

02-26-2009, 05:47 PM	#15
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,248 Karma: 35000000 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	Just another Wednsday morning, shooting FDR and waiting for the phone to ring. Kinda dull after I had located the Tequila Mafia's heroin stash for the Federales. 600 kilos of horse and enough M-16s to armor a regiment, and the Federales wouldn't even pay a parking ticket I got during the stakeout. They said I shouldn't have been listening to "The Mexican Blackbird" while eyeballin' the place. What the H-ll do they expect me to listen to on the south side, Frank Sinatra? Next thing you know, they'll expect me to dress like a Hoover Doll. After that, I told them they could find their own dopers, at least until they paid my parking ticket. And I figger they oughta start in the White House... Looks like Red has competition from Harry Pig....

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