I am going to bed! [unutterable silliness]

[NatCh]

Originally Posted by RWood

And while you are there you can start that bread and water diet that Paris Hilton used in the LA jail -- look how thin she was on release.

I thought the thing that made "bread and water" a punishment was that it ... clogged up the works, to put it delicately. Wouldn't that have an anti-thinning effect?

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by NatCh

I thought the thing that made "bread and water" a punishment was that it ... clogged up the works, to put it delicately. Wouldn't that have an anti-thinning effect?

Only if you could bring yourself to eat it.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Really? Do you think they'd like the gentle, soothing tones of the Rocky Horror Picture Show Movie Soundtrack...
("...the blackness would hiiiiit me, and the void would be caaalllliiiing...")

all right now, *what* have i told you about planting the hidden microphones in my appartment ?? if you want to know what i'm listening to, just ask. (i know you envy my impeccable taste in music and wildly eclectic cd collection, but this is getting ridiculous. talk about "voyeuristic intentions").

[nekokami]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Don't forget, this thread is noted for "unutterable silliness", so no going off-topic (that is, no utterable unsilliness)

What about utterable silliness? Oh, wait, that's TV....

I'm quite embarrassed by the way I've let my "friend" invitations fall behind. I mean, I do have friends here. I think. Well, perhaps that's presumptuous of me....

[NatCh]

I feel I should point out something that's been bothering me for some time: absolutely nothing here is utterable, printable, yes, but not utterable. (and yes, I do remember that I'm the one who contributed the phrase to our discourse originally, and I stand by it because none of it was uttered!)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by NatCh

I feel I should point out something that's been bothering me for some time: absolutely nothing here is utterable, printable, yes, but not utterable. (and yes, I do remember that I'm the one who contributed the phrase to our discourse originally, and I stand by it because none of it was uttered!)

wait, are you saying i should stop declaiming all the new posts as they appear ? (because i'm starting to have quite an audience)

[NatCh]

No, you go right on doing that, zelda!

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

In a discussion group, no one can hear you utter.

(They can't hear the other rude noises you make, either, which saves you a lot of embarrassment.)

[NatCh]

So ... if a blogger utters at his computer, and there's no one around to hear it, does he make a sound?

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Does he or doesn't he? Only his IT guy knows for sure.

[NatCh]

Not if the IT guy isn't there to hear he doesn't!

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Clearly you don't know about all the monitoring HW the IT hid in the guy's box! He could probably tell you how long the guy lingered on the picture of the girl from the last PVI post!

(And that thing he said that he'd never have the guts to tell the girl to her face!)

[Cthulhu]

Ahem....

*eats a lower-karmed member to assert himself*

Not only am I diagnostically dyslexic (My! The fun we have in the wheelhouse in narrow channels!) but I have all manner of visual hallucinations besides the fact. Like confusing "Public Health" with "Public Health." Though the funny thing is that the CTA's printer must have had problems with L's, b/c independent sources confirmed that the signs read "Pubic Heath Department." Quite ironic that the CTA (aka " the 'L'") could not locate a sign company less opposed to the tenth letter of the Latin alphabet.

As for unutterable-ignosity, I think that my morning wake up call is quite the completely craziest incantation.... But them, am a bit of a night owl--or squid....

Zed's are important. Least my Polack ancestors thought so.
Which reminds me--- why do you Anglos fear more than four consonants in a row? Did the big bad letters steal your lunch money in grade school? I mean, really.

@ Marc-- is there a British grammar version of Microsoft Word that I can download? Little is more infuriating than having lovely little 's's transcribed into garish Z's. As the man said, no human would like to see me Angry.

to wit, Remember Atlantis.

[montsnmags]

G'day et al (Go on, correct my usage. You know I love it when you talk teacher to me). Welcome to my Sunday Dreaming. Come one, come all. Don't be shy. We're all friends here, and hardly ever bite (and if we do, we nibble). No application is necessary. No post-count is judged. No admission fees are charged. No cliques are entertained.

Welcome and welcome again.

Nice to see you, Steve. I'd feared that your posting predominance at Mobileread indicated a personality dedicated to seriousness and intelligent discourse - it's good to know we can entrap you in sticky silliness (silly stickiness?) as well (Welcome. "You can check out any time you like but you just can't ever leave").

So, the dark, later half of Sunday comes around, and I am forced once again to contemplate the aching chaos of error, ego and bland insanity that has lead me to this point (and worry about the homework that I don't have to hand in tomorrow, not having been to school for 20 years). 'Tis the temporary apocalypse of my mind, Sunday night, and so it is necessary that I distract myself from the drowned woods by beginning the provocation of Unutterable Silliness (tm) once again.

So, to the soundtrack of Pink Floyd's The Wall (sorry, Zelda - I'd like to serendip the light fantastic with the Rocky Horror Picture Show tomorrow if you'd like), let us play before bedtime. Let the dogs out, come alive, and take off all your clothes, before our guardians shout for us to turn off the lights, turn down the music, and we have to Itty Bitty beneath the bedsheets. There are some matters to attend to.

Firstly, to my dearest soul-eater, Cthulhu, who I note has just preempted me at the pool-bar...

As Microsoft once said in an effort to create it's own grammatical meme independent to that of verbing nouns, "Welcome to the social" (the social what? Please let it be "intercourse" so I can snigger like Benny Hill). Let me show you to your reserved throne (no, it's only white porcelain because of its resistance to stain, honest), and pour you a long, dark glass of extra-dimensional ennui (I've put a little, blue umbrella on top, so that people know that under that skirt of tentacles, you're all man, baby, or so the many soulless ladies tell me). This is not so much "social networking" as "drinks after midday". Pull up your pew and settle in - the Lounge bar is open, and it's Unhappy Hour!

Secondly, a grateful nod to my good friend (by which I mean "someone who replied to me on the internet"), TadW, who wishes me "sweet dreams" despite all evidence of a contrary likelihood. He's nice - he's like the lovely man who brings you your final meal before execution.

Finally (by which I mean not finally at all - the evening is still young), I would like to thank the following people from elsewhere:

- those who conflate their own subjective preferences into an ethos that must be defended at all costs should someone dare desire something otherwise;

- those who respond to any differing opinion with voluminous (both textually and emotionally) outrage and ad hominem pejoratives of ridicule and pointless facetiousness while simultaneously creating large, empty spaces within their vitriole where actual content (or at least some semblance of thought) should reside, but doesn't.

- those who must enter any conversation to bemoan, in an obnoxious and self-righteous tone, the presence of their particular bugbear lest some poor newbie become confused by the bugbear's flagrant misdirection and heinousness into taking a course of action that brings into jeopardy the future of the human race (the Calling of Cthulhu excepted, of course)

- those dribbling, feeble-minded, arrogant arses that do any of the above in response to a newbie's innocent and nervous introduction of "Hi, I'm new and looking forward to speaking to you all about [insert incorrect/disliked terminology/idea/spelling]" (unless, of course, said newbie has partaken of the above themselves, in which case, I will myself drag them down into my own private Hell, hooked-through with rusty talons on the end of chains of razorwire. Let's call all it "Extreme Body Piercing")

It is those above of my fellow travellers, the practitioners of pedantic and empty polypillory, that I credit with bringing me, manic-and-morbid to this prettly Lounge.

After I have spent several hours composing posts intended to rip-and-chew the flesh from their incoherent ideas and ground the bones of their non-arguments into an odoriferous mush, before then deleting my own posts...unsent, self-determined as time-wastage in a spasm of pessimistic frustration and existentialist isolationism,...

...after those pointless pre-retractions, I come here, to the Lounge, my Boulevard of Broken Screams,

with Friends who pat me on the back and wish my dreams sweeter;

with friends who berate me my foolishness as not being foolish enough;

with Great Old Ones who aren't afraid to knock back a double-ennui-on-ice amongst us bloodbags;

with friends who bring me gifts of seal pelt and let me pinch their non-sacrificed virgin buttocks;

with friends who know and bring scarified innocents (always good for a round of "Let's abuse their illusions");

with friends who like pie and don't share but then do;

with friends who like a little jump to the left and then a step to the ri.i.iiii.ight;

with friends who call themselves "yvanleterrible" (what's not to like?);

with friends who seem to have a distinctly unexpected, succinct and delightful sense of humour at very rare times (I'm looking at you, Jon);

with friends who aren't too proud to talk about Paris Hilton;

and finally, of course, with friends like nekokami, who always brings a frisson of "dead sexy" to the party (which is odd, since my predilections don't extend along that particular branch).

Welcome, folks. It's SHOWTIME!


"So ya...thought ya...might like to...go to the show...
To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow

Well I've got some bad news for you, sunshine..."


Cheers,
Marc ("skating on the thin ice of modern life")

[Cthulhu]

Can someone get this guy a publisher?

While you're up, you might as well bring a pitcher of rhubarb daquiri's and a plate of pie....or redheads, your choice.

Even though I'm provisionally part of the Eastern Standard Tribe, this whole time travel stuff still gets to me. Too bad ye pitiful mortals can only go one direction at one constant speed.