Register Guidelines E-Books Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   MobileRead Forums > Miscellaneous > Lounge

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-09-2018, 06:57 AM   #10171
Adoby
Handy Elephant
Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Adoby's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,329
Karma: 8222222
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods
Device: Ubuntu LTS, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Adoby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-10-2018, 03:30 AM   #10172
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Posts: 7,375
Karma: 89693338
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Searching ...
I threw a boomerang many years ago. I now live in constant fear.
Fbone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-10-2018, 05:14 AM   #10173
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 22,053
Karma: 156269957
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy.
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-10-2018, 09:28 AM   #10174
orlok
Somewhat stalled
orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
orlok's Avatar
 
Posts: 9,729
Karma: 267647038
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
Click image for larger version

Name:	267264_10150280152664544_2944994_n.jpg
Views:	54
Size:	8.1 KB
ID:	165514
orlok is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2018, 06:05 AM   #10175
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 22,053
Karma: 156269957
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
It was the first day of school and the teacher was asking the little boy about his family.

"And what does your Daddy do?"

"He's a magician."

"That must be exciting, what tricks can he do?"

"He can saw people in half."

"That is clever, and tell me do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yes, one half brother, and two half sisters."
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2018, 09:23 PM   #10176
PeterT
Grand Sorcerer
PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.PeterT ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
PeterT's Avatar
 
Posts: 10,312
Karma: 60928025
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Toronto
Device: Nexus 7, Glo HD, Touch, Tolino EPOS
What did jay-z call his girlfriend before they were married?
Spoiler:

Fèyonce
PeterT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2018, 04:56 AM   #10177
Adoby
Handy Elephant
Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Adoby's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,329
Karma: 8222222
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods
Device: Ubuntu LTS, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus
Little Tommy had problems with numbers and adding. But when he was allowed to count on his fingers, and not just in the head, it usually went fine.

But the teacher had started telling Tommy to put his hands in his pockets before giving Tommy a problem to solve. Tommy was smart, so after the first time he took some scissors and cut away the insides of the pockets on his trousers.

Teacher: "Tommy, put your hands in your pockets! Now, what is five plus five?"

(pause)

Tommy: "Eleven!"
Adoby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2018, 05:36 AM   #10178
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 22,053
Karma: 156269957
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
Did you hear about the doctor who was going from full time to part time? He was either losing his patients or getting a bit out of practice.
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2018, 10:01 AM   #10179
Adoby
Handy Elephant
Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Adoby ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Adoby's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,329
Karma: 8222222
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods
Device: Ubuntu LTS, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus
At the butchers:

- How can you sell meat this cheap?

- We cut down the staff.
Adoby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2018, 05:28 AM   #10180
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 22,053
Karma: 156269957
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
Never take a nail to a bar. They tend to get hammered.
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2018, 06:06 AM   #10181
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
yvanleterrible's Avatar
 
Posts: 8,589
Karma: 9474802
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Que Nada
Device: Kobo Mini, iPad Air
Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
...It chewed itself to bits...
yvanleterrible is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2018, 09:34 AM   #10182
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
drjd's Avatar
 
Posts: 22,053
Karma: 156269957
Join Date: Aug 2015
Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"
drjd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Yesterday, 05:32 AM   #10183
Bilbo1967
Not scared!
Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bilbo1967 ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Bilbo1967's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,874
Karma: 63220267
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midlands, UK
Device: Sony 600, Sony 650, Sony T2, Xoom, Nexus 7 (2012 & 2013), Nook ST (x2)
I just read the best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (as voted for by the public).

The number one was;

Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day. - Adam Rowe

The rest of the top ten were;

"I had a job drilling holes for water - it was well boring" - Leo Kearse

"I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed" - Olaf Falafel

"In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me" - Daniel Audritt

"What do colour blind people do when they are told to eat their greens?" - Flo and Joan

"I've got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it's not easy. They keep moving the goalposts" - Darren Walsh

"Trump said he'd build a wall but he hasn't even picked up a brick. He's just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project" - Justin Moorhouse

"I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it" - Adele Cliff

"Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off?" - Alex Edelman

"I think love is like central heating. You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it's like this all the time" - Laura Lexx
Bilbo1967 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library? danwdoo Calibre 8 12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-) Gedvondur Introduce Yourself 12 07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background? rlsamson Barnes & Noble NOOK 3 06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released Alexander Turcic Reading and Management 2 02-20-2006 03:47 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:28 AM.


MobileRead.com is a privately owned, operated and funded community.