Silliness Old Bad Computer/Computer Programming Jokes - Page 5

jpchan · 08-06-2008, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BookishDreamer

OMG! That's my favorite so far, probably because I've spent too much time troubleshooting sql recently.

Dreamer

How about this one for all you SQL people:

Select * from USERS where CLUE > 0

No records found

BookishDreamer · 08-06-2008, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpchan

How about this one for all you SQL people:

Select * from USERS where CLUE > 0

No records found

Good one, jpchan! That one is going to be printed and anonymously left on the desk of a programmer I know.

<Oh, someone left that on your desk? Really? Nope, never seen it before.

>

Dreamer

radleyp · 08-06-2008, 03:32 PM

The "general failure" line is from Dave Barry's book on computers. The book also contains this wonderful line (I am quoting from memory and the actual phrasing may not be correct): "We need ever more powerful computers so that we can get error messages faster."

pshrynk · 08-06-2008, 03:33 PM

I think my brain just melted down.

radleyp · 08-06-2008, 03:38 PM

R Wood: why from right to left in Greek?

DMcCunney · 08-06-2008, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpchan

How about this one for all you SQL people:

Select * from USERS where CLUE > 0

No records found

"Hmmmm. Time for another LART session. Gotta go grab the clue-by-four from the tech closet. Let's check what the BOFH is up to for some new training ideas..."

______
Dennis

DMcCunney · 08-06-2008, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by radleyp

R Wood: why from right to left in Greek?

Perhaps because of the character set peculiar to the APL language.
______
Dennis

RWood · 08-06-2008, 04:39 PM

Also because the APL (it stands for A Programming Language) code is executed from right to left on the line.

Long ago in grad school a friend of mine and I would write APL programs and then have the other figure out what they did. The loser bought pizza. Since whole programs can be written in just one line of APL this is harder than it sounds.

DMcCunney · 08-06-2008, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

Also because the APL (it stands for A Programming Language) code is executed from right to left on the line.

Long ago in grad school a friend of mine and I would write APL programs and then have the other figure out what they did. The loser bought pizza. Since whole programs can be written in just one line of APL this is harder than it sounds.

Sounds like the old trick of figuring out what your name would do in TECO.
______
Dennis

RWood · 08-06-2008, 05:13 PM

TECO was a pain. I always used (when available SOS (Son of Stopgap.) I stayed on DEC-10s when I could and the only time I remember that I had to use TECO was a stint on a RSTS-11 box and once on a PDP-8.

gwynevans · 08-07-2008, 10:05 AM

Ah, TECO was fun! At my first job I wrote a set of TECO macros to transform quite a few Record & Field definitions (from formal interface specs) into PL/M-86 structure definitions, including such things as having to calculate field sizes & offsets for the varient parts! Took a few days but saved weeks of effort (& excluded all the manual mistakes that would have crept in).

DMcCunney · 08-07-2008, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

TECO was a pain. I always used (when available SOS (Son of Stopgap.) I stayed on DEC-10s when I could and the only time I remember that I had to use TECO was a stint on a RSTS-11 box and once on a PDP-8.

I used SOS a bit, but I had only brief acquaintance with DEC-10s. My shop at the time ran PDP-11/45 and 11/70 boxes, usder RSTS-E and RSX-11m+, respectively. I also logged time on VAXen under VMS.

I still have an editor or two around that emulate EDT.
______
Dennis

DMcCunney · 08-07-2008, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gwynevans

Ah, TECO was fun! At my first job I wrote a set of TECO macros to transform quite a few Record & Field definitions (from formal interface specs) into PL/M-86 structure definitions, including such things as having to calculate field sizes & offsets for the varient parts! Took a few days but saved weeks of effort (& excluded all the manual mistakes that would have crept in).

TECO was better suited for macros that would be used in batch jabs than for interactive editing.

Though I have thought on occasion of trying to track down the old ITS macro set and recreate the original emacs...

Gotta love a language whose code bears a strong resemblance to line noise...
______
Dennis

pshrynk · 08-07-2008, 10:17 AM

These jokes are just thigh slappers, let me tell you!

DMcCunney · 08-07-2008, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

These jokes are just thigh slappers, let me tell you!

Actually, old-timers may tell you that dealing with TECO promotes head-banging, not thigh-slapping...

______
Dennis

08-06-2008, 03:32 PM	#63
radleyp Evangelist Posts: 499 Karma: 20623 Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: North Salem & NYC, NY Device: Kindle Global, iphone4, ipad	The "general failure" line is from Dave Barry's book on computers. The book also contains this wonderful line (I am quoting from memory and the actual phrasing may not be correct): "We need ever more powerful computers so that we can get error messages faster." Last edited by radleyp; 08-06-2008 at 03:34 PM.

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08-06-2008, 03:33 PM	#64
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	I think my brain just melted down.

08-06-2008, 03:38 PM	#65
radleyp Evangelist Posts: 499 Karma: 20623 Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: North Salem & NYC, NY Device: Kindle Global, iphone4, ipad	R Wood: why from right to left in Greek?

08-06-2008, 04:39 PM	#68
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Also because the APL (it stands for A Programming Language) code is executed from right to left on the line. Long ago in grad school a friend of mine and I would write APL programs and then have the other figure out what they did. The loser bought pizza. Since whole programs can be written in just one line of APL this is harder than it sounds.

08-06-2008, 05:13 PM	#70
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	TECO was a pain. I always used (when available SOS (Son of Stopgap.) I stayed on DEC-10s when I could and the only time I remember that I had to use TECO was a stint on a RSTS-11 box and once on a PDP-8.

08-07-2008, 10:05 AM	#71
gwynevans Wizzard Posts: 1,402 Karma: 2000000 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Device: iPad 2, iPhone 6s, Kindle Voyage & Kindle PaperWhite	Ah, TECO was fun! At my first job I wrote a set of TECO macros to transform quite a few Record & Field definitions (from formal interface specs) into PL/M-86 structure definitions, including such things as having to calculate field sizes & offsets for the varient parts! Took a few days but saved weeks of effort (& excluded all the manual mistakes that would have crept in).

08-07-2008, 10:17 AM	#74
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	These jokes are just thigh slappers, let me tell you!

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