Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 673

Bookpossum · 04-23-2018, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: "No, I'm travelling light."

drjd · 04-25-2018, 09:19 AM

There are two types of people in this world:… Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

drjd · 04-26-2018, 09:30 AM

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Greg Anos · 04-26-2018, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

But the salesman said "That wasn't a bug - it was a feature. . . "

And the users had to work around it, until the next upgrade. Whenever that would be. . . .

drjd · 05-01-2018, 04:41 AM

The other day my friend was telling me that I didn’t understand what irony meant. … Which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.

KenMagee · 05-04-2018, 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

The other day my friend was telling me that I didn’t understand what irony meant. … Which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.

drjd · 05-04-2018, 05:53 AM

After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight.

He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.

"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and an absolutely great lover in bed!"

"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too!"

drjd · 05-05-2018, 05:31 AM

An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender.
He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.
The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips.
The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips.
The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.
The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?"
The bartender quickly replies, "The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."

KenMagee · 05-05-2018, 06:17 PM

Scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.

drjd · 05-06-2018, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KenMagee

Scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.

drjd · 05-06-2018, 10:13 AM

A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.”
Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination.
The woman looked up to heaven and said, “Never mind, Lord; I found one on my own.”

drjd · 05-08-2018, 05:04 AM

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

yvanleterrible · 05-09-2018, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Yup! Story of my life...

cromag · 05-10-2018, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Yup! Story of my life...

Settle down, guys!

Adoby · 05-10-2018, 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

Settle down, guys!

Hey! Why keep stirring it up! Don't agitate them!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

04-25-2018, 09:19 AM	#10082
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	There are two types of people in this world:… Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

04-26-2018, 09:30 AM	#10083
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

05-01-2018, 04:41 AM	#10085
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The other day my friend was telling me that I didn’t understand what irony meant. … Which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.

05-04-2018, 05:53 AM	#10087
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight. He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and an absolutely great lover in bed!" "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too!"

05-05-2018, 05:31 AM	#10088
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips. The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him. The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?" The bartender quickly replies, "The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."

05-05-2018, 06:17 PM	#10089
KenMagee Connoisseur Posts: 69 Karma: 2231728 Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Ireland Device: Kindle Fire	Scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.

05-06-2018, 10:13 AM	#10091
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.” Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination. The woman looked up to heaven and said, “Never mind, Lord; I found one on my own.”

05-08-2018, 05:04 AM	#10092
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.