A short story.

Taylor514ce · 08-11-2009, 10:16 AM

Tobias Walks to Church

Part 1: I melt

It is a billion degrees outside, even hotter than on the sun, than any sun on any planet you can imagine. All of the suns and stars and forest fires put together, that's how hot it is.

So of course we have to go to Church. I told Mom I was staying in the basement, because no matter how hot it is, the basement is always nice. She doesn't understand that, no matter how many times I tell her. Plus the TV is there and there is room in the basement to dance.

And of course we have to walk. I warn her it is too hot. She doesn't listen. She just wants to walk so she could hold hands with Thomas and I try to tell them the car is perfectly fine and has air conditioning and that we are taking the long way but they don't listen. I found an ant and he listened, but right in the middle of our conversation Mom told me to hurry up. It was too hot to hurry so I didn't.

I melt. I knew I would. That's why I told them it was too hot to walk! At first it just felt like I was sweating but then my shoes started sticking to the sidewalk and my legs got rubbery and the middle of my back turned to jelly and now look at me, I'm just a puddle. The ant floated away on me.

Does Mom care? Does Thomas? No. So I melt into the cracks in the sidewalk and trickle into the grass and down into an anthill. The ants are mad and try to bite me but you can't bite a puddle, it just runs between your teeth if you try so I flood them out and pour down deeper into the dirt where it is cool. Like my basement, where I am supposed to be right now.

It is cool enough that I turn solid again, but I'm not sure I got all the way back together. I mean, my tooth feels loose and my shoes are untied and I think some hair might be missing. It's Mom's fault. I can only tell a person something so many times and then what's the point?

Part 2: Snerf

But now we are walking by all the baby places where Mom wants me to take baby classes even though I'm not a baby and I see the coolest dog ever. I'm never going to wash his licks off. He is the best dog, even better than the dog I saw twice that you don't know about yet because I saw that dog after Church.

When a dog licks you what he leaves on you is called "snerf". I tell Thomas and he says it was "a nice word blah blah blah I should add it to the dictionary blah blah blah".

It stays on you even after you get dry, and that's how dogs remember you.

Part 3: That Girl

Now we're at Church and it's even hotter than outside. So of course we didn't sit by the fan. I give up. I just do. I do not have the energy in my brain to deal with any of this right now. My brain was already liquid once today, and now I feel like I might melt again. I'm going to sleep. Wake me up later. I don't care. If I die here it will be Mom's fault and then she'll have to explain THAT to Jesus.

There is a girl in front of me. I think she might be my next girlfriend. I am going to stare at her the whole time. That'll work. And no one will know I'm doing it. They think I'm paying attention and being good but here's a secret. It's a trick I learned. Here it is: Mom thinks being quiet is the same as being good. I'm not being good. I'm staring at That Girl.

Part 4: Finally

We're going home, after forever, but we're taking an even longer way home. They still didn't listen. I guess when you spend as much time talking about blah blah blah whatever like Mom and Thomas you lose all sense of direction and even common sense. This is going to take 2 hours.

When I'm 12 or 18 I'm going to run away, and I am never walking anywhere, and will always take the shortest way to places.

I'm keeping this stick.

Sparrow · 08-11-2009, 10:56 AM

I enjoyed that very much.

Brought back memories of being dragged to church when I was a nipper :shudder:.

rlparker · 08-11-2009, 11:57 AM

Thanks! Good story. I think you did a good job with consistency of tone, meter and vocabulary.

dreams · 08-11-2009, 12:27 PM

That was great, Taylor!

It brought back memories of being a kid and being dragged around by the adults.

Kess · 08-11-2009, 08:20 PM

Nicely done! I loved the parts about the dog and the stick. Thank you for sharing!

~Kess / Mel

Patricia · 08-11-2009, 09:32 PM

What a lovely story.

pshrynk · 08-13-2009, 06:38 PM

Cool stuff! you capture the essence of being married to a tee! Wait - that's not quite it...

Taylor514ce · 08-14-2009, 10:05 AM

Thanks everyone! I liked writing this, liked being in the mind of a seven year old boy, where the mundane and magic happen in equal measure.

ravenlife · 08-14-2009, 11:40 AM

lol

I really liked this, short sweet and amusing.

08-11-2009, 10:16 AM	#1
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	A short story. Tobias Walks to Church Part 1: I melt It is a billion degrees outside, even hotter than on the sun, than any sun on any planet you can imagine. All of the suns and stars and forest fires put together, that's how hot it is. So of course we have to go to Church. I told Mom I was staying in the basement, because no matter how hot it is, the basement is always nice. She doesn't understand that, no matter how many times I tell her. Plus the TV is there and there is room in the basement to dance. And of course we have to walk. I warn her it is too hot. She doesn't listen. She just wants to walk so she could hold hands with Thomas and I try to tell them the car is perfectly fine and has air conditioning and that we are taking the long way but they don't listen. I found an ant and he listened, but right in the middle of our conversation Mom told me to hurry up. It was too hot to hurry so I didn't. I melt. I knew I would. That's why I told them it was too hot to walk! At first it just felt like I was sweating but then my shoes started sticking to the sidewalk and my legs got rubbery and the middle of my back turned to jelly and now look at me, I'm just a puddle. The ant floated away on me. Does Mom care? Does Thomas? No. So I melt into the cracks in the sidewalk and trickle into the grass and down into an anthill. The ants are mad and try to bite me but you can't bite a puddle, it just runs between your teeth if you try so I flood them out and pour down deeper into the dirt where it is cool. Like my basement, where I am supposed to be right now. It is cool enough that I turn solid again, but I'm not sure I got all the way back together. I mean, my tooth feels loose and my shoes are untied and I think some hair might be missing. It's Mom's fault. I can only tell a person something so many times and then what's the point? Part 2: Snerf But now we are walking by all the baby places where Mom wants me to take baby classes even though I'm not a baby and I see the coolest dog ever. I'm never going to wash his licks off. He is the best dog, even better than the dog I saw twice that you don't know about yet because I saw that dog after Church. When a dog licks you what he leaves on you is called "snerf". I tell Thomas and he says it was "a nice word blah blah blah I should add it to the dictionary blah blah blah". It stays on you even after you get dry, and that's how dogs remember you. Part 3: That Girl Now we're at Church and it's even hotter than outside. So of course we didn't sit by the fan. I give up. I just do. I do not have the energy in my brain to deal with any of this right now. My brain was already liquid once today, and now I feel like I might melt again. I'm going to sleep. Wake me up later. I don't care. If I die here it will be Mom's fault and then she'll have to explain THAT to Jesus. There is a girl in front of me. I think she might be my next girlfriend. I am going to stare at her the whole time. That'll work. And no one will know I'm doing it. They think I'm paying attention and being good but here's a secret. It's a trick I learned. Here it is: Mom thinks being quiet is the same as being good. I'm not being good. I'm staring at That Girl. Part 4: Finally We're going home, after forever, but we're taking an even longer way home. They still didn't listen. I guess when you spend as much time talking about blah blah blah whatever like Mom and Thomas you lose all sense of direction and even common sense. This is going to take 2 hours. When I'm 12 or 18 I'm going to run away, and I am never walking anywhere, and will always take the shortest way to places. I'm keeping this stick.

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08-11-2009, 10:56 AM	#2
Sparrow Wizard Posts: 4,395 Karma: 1358132 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Device: Palm TX, CyBook Gen3	I enjoyed that very much. Brought back memories of being dragged to church when I was a nipper :shudder:.

08-11-2009, 11:57 AM	#3
rlparker Ars longa Posts: 1,179 Karma: 17404 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: north carolina, usa Device: Kindle K1, K3 wifi	Thanks! Good story. I think you did a good job with consistency of tone, meter and vocabulary.

08-11-2009, 12:27 PM	#4
dreams It's about the umbrella Posts: 25,112 Karma: 56250158 Join Date: Jan 2009 Device: Sony 505\| K Fire \| KK 3G+Wi-Fi \| iPhone 3Gs \|Vista 32-bit Hm Prem w/FF	That was great, Taylor! It brought back memories of being a kid and being dragged around by the adults.

08-11-2009, 08:20 PM	#5
Kess Enthusiast Posts: 48 Karma: 500830 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Australia Device: none	Nicely done! I loved the parts about the dog and the stick. Thank you for sharing! ~Kess / Mel

08-11-2009, 09:32 PM	#6
Patricia Reader Posts: 11,504 Karma: 8720163 Join Date: May 2007 Location: South Wales, UK Device: Sony PRS-500, PRS-505, Asus EEEpc 4G	What a lovely story.

08-13-2009, 06:38 PM	#7
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Cool stuff! you capture the essence of being married to a tee! Wait - that's not quite it...

08-14-2009, 10:05 AM	#8
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	Thanks everyone! I liked writing this, liked being in the mind of a seven year old boy, where the mundane and magic happen in equal measure.

08-14-2009, 11:40 AM	#9
ravenlife Connoisseur Posts: 55 Karma: 499658 Join Date: Nov 2008 Device: PRS505	lol I really liked this, short sweet and amusing.

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