04-20-2020, 03:19 PM | #10921 |
The Couch Potato
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Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels.
Policeman: Why, those dirty crooks! |
04-21-2020, 07:43 AM | #10922 |
The Couch Potato
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People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell...
Come to think of it, I see why. |
04-22-2020, 07:35 AM | #10923 |
The Couch Potato
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I was walking down the street, and this guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else. I said, I am.
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04-24-2020, 06:42 AM | #10924 |
The Couch Potato
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The hebebeegees is an irrational fear of disco bands retiring to grow flowering evergreen shrubs.
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04-25-2020, 09:37 AM | #10925 |
The Couch Potato
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My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes."
I replied, "I'm working at the moment, Boss, I will send you one later." He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one." |
04-26-2020, 06:04 AM | #10926 |
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I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
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04-26-2020, 05:26 PM | #10927 |
Handy Elephant
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I guess there are a lot of jokes about hospitalized people? I suppose they are pretty sick?
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04-28-2020, 07:07 AM | #10928 |
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A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico.
The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!” |
04-29-2020, 07:25 AM | #10929 |
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I'm going to recolor this fabric, or dye trying!
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04-30-2020, 07:33 AM | #10930 |
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My wife gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she’s sangria then ever! |
04-30-2020, 01:08 PM | #10931 |
Unicycle Daredevil
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Where does drjd get his jokes from? Groanopedia.
(You know that's meant as a compliment, Spuddles!) |
05-01-2020, 08:07 AM | #10932 |
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05-01-2020, 08:10 AM | #10933 |
The Couch Potato
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A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States."
Receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?" |
05-02-2020, 06:52 AM | #10934 |
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I sure felt a lot better after buying a parking structure last week.
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05-02-2020, 10:02 AM | #10935 |
Unicycle Daredevil
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Why didn't the Frenchman eat two eggs? Because one egg is un oeuf.
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