Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 729

drjd · 04-20-2020, 03:19 PM

Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels.

Policeman: Why, those dirty crooks!

drjd · 04-21-2020, 07:43 AM

People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell...

Come to think of it, I see why.

drjd · 04-22-2020, 07:35 AM

I was walking down the street, and this guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else. I said, I am.

drjd · 04-24-2020, 06:42 AM

The hebebeegees is an irrational fear of disco bands retiring to grow flowering evergreen shrubs.

drjd · 04-25-2020, 09:37 AM

My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes."

I replied, "I'm working at the moment, Boss, I will send you one later."

He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."

drjd · 04-26-2020, 06:04 AM

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Adoby · 04-26-2020, 05:26 PM

I guess there are a lot of jokes about hospitalized people? I suppose they are pretty sick?

drjd · 04-28-2020, 07:07 AM

A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico.

The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”

drjd · 04-29-2020, 07:25 AM

I'm going to recolor this fabric, or dye trying!

drjd · 04-30-2020, 07:33 AM

My wife gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.

So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she’s sangria then ever!

doubleshuffle · 04-30-2020, 01:08 PM

Where does drjd get his jokes from? Groanopedia.

(You know that's meant as a compliment, Spuddles!)

drjd · 05-01-2020, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

Where does drjd get his jokes from? Groanopedia.

(You know that's meant as a compliment, Spuddles!)

Groan!

drjd · 05-01-2020, 08:10 AM

A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States."

Receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?"

Redneck: "Why, is it required?"

drjd · 05-02-2020, 06:52 AM

I sure felt a lot better after buying a parking structure last week.

doubleshuffle · 05-02-2020, 10:02 AM

Why didn't the Frenchman eat two eggs? Because one egg is un oeuf.

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04-20-2020, 03:19 PM	#10921
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels. Policeman: Why, those dirty crooks!

04-21-2020, 07:43 AM	#10922
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell... Come to think of it, I see why.

04-22-2020, 07:35 AM	#10923
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I was walking down the street, and this guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else. I said, I am.

04-24-2020, 06:42 AM	#10924
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The hebebeegees is an irrational fear of disco bands retiring to grow flowering evergreen shrubs.

04-25-2020, 09:37 AM	#10925
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes." I replied, "I'm working at the moment, Boss, I will send you one later." He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."

04-26-2020, 06:04 AM	#10926
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

04-26-2020, 05:26 PM	#10927
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,736 Karma: 26785668 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Thinkpad E595, Ubuntu Mate, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus	I guess there are a lot of jokes about hospitalized people? I suppose they are pretty sick?

04-28-2020, 07:07 AM	#10928
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”

04-29-2020, 07:25 AM	#10929
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I'm going to recolor this fabric, or dye trying!

04-30-2020, 07:33 AM	#10930
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	My wife gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine. So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she’s sangria then ever!

04-30-2020, 01:08 PM	#10931
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,924 Karma: 185041098 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Where does drjd get his jokes from? Groanopedia. (You know that's meant as a compliment, Spuddles!)

05-01-2020, 08:10 AM	#10933
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." Receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"

05-02-2020, 06:52 AM	#10934
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I sure felt a lot better after buying a parking structure last week.

05-02-2020, 10:02 AM	#10935
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,924 Karma: 185041098 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Why didn't the Frenchman eat two eggs? Because one egg is un oeuf.