The Vent and Rant Thread

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Did he stop his meds? Are you able to make him get back on? I mean, I don't have to tell you how dangerous a manic episode can be...?

Hitch

He's not on meds. I could never get him to go talk to someone even after finding a cheap clinic for him to go to. He's undiagnosed but his father and mother are both bipolar. I was too young and uneducated about mental health when I married him. When his odd behavior started happening more and more I was still clueless in Tennessee. It wasn't till the last four years that a real pattern develop that I had to face facts. I grew up with two mentally ill parents myself. So I'm able to tolerate more than some would.

Luckily hubby is off work today.

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[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Blossom

He's not on meds. I could never get him to go talk to someone even after finding a cheap clinic for him to go to. He's undiagnosed but his father and mother are both bipolar. I was too young and uneducated about mental health when I married him. When his odd behavior started happening more and more I was still clueless in Tennessee. It wasn't till the last four years that a real pattern develop that I had to face facts. I grew up with two mentally ill parents myself. So I'm able to tolerate more than some would.

Luckily hubby is off work today.

Sent from my XT1528

Well, if you have intimate knowledge of BP, you know that he'll continue to get worse. Almost without exception, all BPs do, as they age. You might want to consider taking care of yourself, first, and that might include taking drastic action--like moving out or getting a divorce. I have several married-to family members, that are bipolar, and while some very mild cases can go sans medical treatment, most cannot. Those that defied the need for medication ALL ended up very badly, and some did pretty horrible things to their nearest and dearest before the end.

Good luck to you, but if he has a lucid moment, were I you, I'd give him an ultimatum. Medical supervision, or you're out. Sorry to sound harsh about it, but you don't want to end up like one of my sister's husband's relatives.

Hitch

[wodin]

My ex-wife was BP, and when she was finally diagnosed back in the early eighties and began lithium my life got hugely better. Before that I would literally throw a shoe in the door when I got home to see how things were going down.

I understand that there are much better meds today, but lithium worked for Judy. From experience, I strongly recommend you exert any influence you have to get hubby diagnosed and treated.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by wodin

My ex-wife was BP, and when she was finally diagnosed back in the early eighties and began lithium my life got hugely better. Before that I would literally throw a shoe in the door when I got home to see how things were going down.

I understand that there are much better meds today, but lithium worked for Judy. From experience, I strongly recommend you exert any influence you have to get hubby diagnosed and treated.

Lithium was a miracle drug for my sister's husband. Now, a few years back, he had to transition off of it and find something else, b/c it can SERIOUSLY damage your liver/kidneys, but it gave him a pretty normal life for 25 years. He would tell you now that it was worth the damage.

You can't blame people with BP, but you do have to medicate them. My (other side of the family) brother in law's dad was BP...right up until he killed himself, at about the age I am now. It started to be obviously a problem, in his 30's, and it just went badly, badly downhill from there. I won't torture you with tales of what wives of BP men have been through in physical attacks during manic epis. Get him diagnosed and get him on meds, for your own sake.

Good luck.

Hitch

[Blossom]

We've reached a compromise. The latch is back on but we've shorten it so the door now closes but doesn't latch so he doesn't have to touch the doorknob.

I do know it can get worse with age but until he is ready or does something more serious then nothing is going to make him see he has a problem.

Right now things are going good. He's kept this job for two months. He works four days. They are ten hour shifts and he gets to sit down while putting various plastic into machines. It pays peanuts but it's at his stress level so it's a good fit. I can handle a little irrational from him as long as it's not dangerous to either one of us or others plus he keeps working.

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[Blossom]

Originally Posted by wodin

My ex-wife was BP, and when she was finally diagnosed back in the early eighties and began lithium my life got hugely better. Before that I would literally throw a shoe in the door when I got home to see how things were going down.

I understand that there are much better meds today, but lithium worked for Judy. From experience, I strongly recommend you exert any influence you have to get hubby diagnosed and treated.

She sounds like my mother in law. Not that I've thrown shoes just listen to sounds being made before entering. My MIL is a scary woman. My father in law is wonderful. You never know he deals with being biploar if I hadn't seen him in 2005 try to off himself after two weeks of insomina. He still is never the angry kind unlike my mother in law who can get violent and downright cruel.





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[Cinisajoy]

Hugs Blossom.
Just remember to take care of yourself first.

[Rumpelteazer]

When our lawyer was on vacation last week the judge reacted to our letter. I hadn't expected it to be so soon. My uncle doesn't get a chance to react to the allegations and observations that were made in the letter. We were afraid he would be allowed to. And that the judge will make his decision on September 13. My uncle and father don't have to go in person, like our lawyer thought might be wanted.

On the one hand I'm relieved that after four years of stress and three and a half years of legal battle an important decision will be made. On the other hand the decision might not be in our advantage, though we can always appeal. And, of course, if it is in our favour my uncle can appeal. Though earlier this year this judge ruled that everyone has to pay for their own legal cost, my uncle is still resisting and trying to have my grandmother's estate pay for his lawyer.

Mind you, that the court says a ruling will be made on September 13 doesn't mean it will. It has happened several times before that a ruling was delayed. One kept being delayed for over six months before a decision was finally made.

One positive outcome is that I can finally book my trip to the UK now that my father doesn't have to go to court.

However, the next three weeks, if not longer, will be tense. Just the thought of that exhausts me.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Blossom

She sounds like my mother in law. Not that I've thrown shoes just listen to sounds being made before entering. My MIL is a scary woman. My father in law is wonderful. You never know he deals with being biploar if I hadn't seen him in 2005 try to off himself after two weeks of insomina. He still is never the angry kind unlike my mother in law who can get violent and downright cruel.

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Are you saying that they are BOTH bipolar?

Hitch

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Are you saying that they are BOTH bipolar?

Hitch

Yes. My mother in law and father in law are both bipolar. My mother in law also has other mental health issues.

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[covingtoncat73]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Yes. My mother in law and father in law are both bipolar. My mother in law also has other mental health issues.

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I feel for you and your husband. That is hard. My aunt is, I believe one psych Dr. said, "paranoid schizophrenic affective disorder." This was not helped by marrying an alcoholic Dr. when she was 19 and then going through a divorce from him after their kids were grown. This was really hard on my grandmother and Mom. Mom stopped talking to/dealing with her sister a long time ago.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Yes. My mother in law and father in law are both bipolar. My mother in law also has other mental health issues.

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Jesus Christ. I feel for you. And for your husband, although you'd think that watching those two would have inclined him toward treatment and medication, not away from it. Man, what a bad hand to deal a kid. He had no chance.

Hitch

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Jesus Christ. I feel for you. And for your husband, although you'd think that watching those two would have inclined him toward treatment and medication, not away from it. Man, what a bad hand to deal a kid. He had no chance.

Hitch

Dad's cool. You'd never know he was bipolar. He's a retired Army guy. 82nd Airborne. He's a gentle soul. Hubby's mom though....she's something else. If she likes you at the moment you'll be okay but if she doesn't....she can be very cruel. I think she is why hubby has issues with women. Right now we are in her good graces. Last crazy thing she did earlier this year was write hubby a letter telling him how useless he is. It was out of the blue. We hadn't heard from her in months. Who knows what she was thinking at the time. He just gave up for awhile after that letter.

Hubby refuses to believe his parents are bipolar. He gets upset when I mention it. They are misdiagnosed is truly what he believes. It's...sad.

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[Blossom]

Originally Posted by covingtoncat73

I feel for you and your husband. That is hard. My aunt is, I believe one psych Dr. said, "paranoid schizophrenic affective disorder." This was not helped by marrying an alcoholic Dr. when she was 19 and then going through a divorce from him after their kids were grown. This was really hard on my grandmother and Mom. Mom stopped talking to/dealing with her sister a long time ago.

My mother is mentally ill. I grew up being around her and it was horrible. She's afraid of everything, has illusions that she believes are true. 95% of her words are lies. She's manic almost all the time. Has crying spells and wants everyone to pity her. She loves to argue and get people upset. She loves drama.

I can't be around her. I love her dearly but she's just exhausting. She talks constantly. During Larry's funeral she kept turning around every ten seconds looking at me, freaking out the people sitting behind me.

My father is a sociopath and a very evil person. I don't associate with him.

Hubby's parents are normal to me compared to my own. I live with the stigma of being their daughter. When people around here find out I'm immediately treated badly or suspiciously.



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[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Blossom

My mother is mentally ill. I grew up being around her and it was horrible. She's afraid of everything, has illusions that she believes are true. 95% of her words are lies. She's manic almost all the time. Has crying spells and wants everyone to pity her. She loves to argue and get people upset. She loves drama.

I can't be around her. I love her dearly but she's just exhausting. She talks constantly. During Larry's funeral she kept turning around every ten seconds looking at me, freaking out the people sitting behind me.

My father is a sociopath and a very evil person. I don't associate with him.

Hubby's parents are normal to me compared to my own. I live with the stigma of being their daughter. When people around here find out I'm immediately treated badly or suspiciously.



Sent from my XT1528

Hugs..