"The Second Book of Memorable First Sentences From Books That Don't Exist"

[doubleshuffle]

It was the winter that men first slithered down hills on plastic bags.

[doubleshuffle]

"Call me, Ishmael," she said and carved her number on his harpoon.

[crich70]

The great detective sat in his recliner listening to old violin concherto's on his Ipod.

[doubleshuffle]

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday, it dawned on the mayor of Hobbiton that the reform of the math curriculum might be even more urgent than the abolition of silly names.

[doubleshuffle]

The chat show host finally fell silent as the giant squid swallowed the last of the guests, burped and turned towards him.

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday, it dawned on the mayor of Hobbiton that the reform of the math curriculum might be even more urgent than the abolition of silly names.

Hilarious!






Don

[Graham]

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

It was the winter that men first slithered down hills on plastic bags.

Loved that one. :-)

Graham

[Graham]

Fighting a losing battle against progress, Bertrand sat late into the night with needle and plastic, gouging out his own CDs.

Graham

[Hitch]

As he gazed into her eyes, limpid pools of blue-grey, they reminded him of the pond at his grandmother Elisabeth's, where he used to go as a little boy, skipping rocks across the murky surface, and wondered how she'd feel if he skipped across his desk, grabbing up her pebbles in his hands, to bring life into her murky depths with some rocks of his own.

Is that bad enough?

Hitch

[Graham]

"The butler did it!" blurted Penworthy, rendering the rest of the novel moot.

Graham

[crich70]

Penworthy implicated the butler in the murder, forgetting for a moment that he was the butler.

Sorry Graham I couldn't resist.

[Greg Anos]

Elgar the supervillian sighed and wondered why he ever got into the business, what with the ridicously long hours, the enormous expense in specialized equipment to maintain his status, and the endless lines of brainless heroes out to kill him - not even the loose women continually throwing themselves at him managed to make up for the boring grind he had trapped himself in.

[Dr. Drib]

I'm still in a metafictional mode. If we get enough contributions on this theme, it could be a chapter.


Martin thought: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, even though I should have used a semicolon or a period between the words ‘times’, ‘it’, ‘it’ and ‘it’ and not a comma [smacks head], but what the dickens do I know? Martin continued to think as his lowly Indy writer’s brain thought of new ways to use large images on his posts, along with hidden tags of course, all this in order to earn a few pennies (he was that cheap) in his efforts to fool those folks over at MobileRead, even though they have an active link to their posting guidelines for self-promotion; but I can’t be bothered with that, he continued to think, as he pondered confusedly how he had gotten from a first-person to a third-person narrative in his novel that would probably remain unfinished or, at best, be something to read only in a winter of despair.





Dr. Drib

[gmw]

It was the best of times (I was getting laid a lot), it was the worst of times (there's a lot of stuff going round), it was the age of wisdom (they could cure most of what I caught), it was the age of foolishness (I should have worn a condom), it was the epoch of belief (I thought I would get away with it), it was the epoch of incredulity (my wife ...), well, you get the idea, this wasn't the way I had intended to start my marriage.


(And while I'm plundering Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, I hope he has a sense of humour, here's another: )

It is a far, far better thing that I write, than I have ever written; it is a far, far better book that I give you than I have ever known.

[VydorScope]

This story will either increase, decrease, or maintain your taste for bacon but only if you read it while in a tube full of raw bacon; otherwise it will have no impact on your bacon desires at all.