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Old 11-21-2016, 06:32 PM   #1
Ricky D'Angelo
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Dumb book blurbs

This one is on my kindle w/ special offers. . almost makes me want to pay to take it off.

"An edge -of-your seat suspense novel . . Read it with the lights on!"

As opposed to reading it in the dark!??! Oh wait, the novel is called In the Dark. . now I get it. . . still dumb.

Does anyone have any more examples of dumb book blurbs?
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Old 11-21-2016, 07:02 PM   #2
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I don't have a particular blurb, but as a horror reader, I got tired of every single writer tht put out a book being labelled "The next Stephen King."
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Old 11-21-2016, 07:58 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by ZodWallop View Post
I don't have a particular blurb, but as a horror reader, I got tired of every single writer tht put out a book being labelled "The next Stephen King."
Were you around when Bruce Lee died? Every martial arts movie featured the next Bruce Lee.
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Old 11-21-2016, 08:00 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Ricky D'Angelo View Post
This one is on my kindle w/ special offers. . almost makes me want to pay to take it off.

"An edge -of-your seat suspense novel . . Read it with the lights on!"

As opposed to reading it in the dark!??! Oh wait, the novel is called In the Dark. . now I get it. . . still dumb.

Does anyone have any more examples of dumb book blurbs?

First of all, I don't think sitting on the edge of my seat would be a comfortable position.

Second, since I have a front-lit reader, I no longer need to have the lights on.

Yes, these blurb writers are pretty dumb.
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Old 11-21-2016, 08:01 PM   #5
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Were you around when Bruce Lee died? Every martial arts movie featured the next Bruce Lee.
Apache

You mean, like....as in a zombie?!

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Old 11-21-2016, 08:27 PM   #6
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There was a small kerfuffel in the romance readers community when this blurb showed up on the cover of Kinley MacGregor historical romances:

Quote:
Kinley MacGregor writes fantasy the way I would.
--Sherrilyn Kenyon
Kinley MacGregor is a pseudonym for Sherrilyn Kenyon.

Some people thought it was funny; some were horrified and felt she was being deceptive.
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Old 11-21-2016, 08:34 PM   #7
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Kinley MacGregor is a pseudonym for Sherrilyn Kenyon.

Some people thought it was funny; some were horrified and felt she was being deceptive.
It sounds entirely truthful to me...
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Old 11-21-2016, 10:28 PM   #8
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Were you around when Bruce Lee died? Every martial arts movie featured the next Bruce Lee.
Apache
Oh yeah. And up-and-coming bands are still "the next Beatles."

Once an artist becomes so synonymous with something that others are compared to them, you know that that artist has accomplished something unique.
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Old 11-21-2016, 10:33 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by FizzyWater View Post
There was a small kerfuffel in the romance readers community when this blurb showed up on the cover of Kinley MacGregor historical romances:

Kinley MacGregor writes fantasy the way I would.
--Sherrilyn Kenyon

Kinley MacGregor is a pseudonym for Sherrilyn Kenyon.

Some people thought it was funny; some were horrified and felt she was being deceptive.
Stephen King is about to release a kid's book called Charlie The Choo Choo under the pen name Beryl Evans. He has a blurb on the cover that says: "If I were ever to write a children's book, it would be just like this!" -Stephen King

I doubt anyone will be mad there. The whole thing is sort of an elaborate in-joke on his Dark Tower books.
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Old 11-21-2016, 10:35 PM   #10
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First of all, I don't think sitting on the edge of my seat would be a comfortable position.
You'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll only use the edge! said every Motocross and monster truck commercial ever.
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Old 11-21-2016, 10:52 PM   #11
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I don't have special offers but I read a lot of blurbs about books and I think the phrase I'm most bothered by is "perfect for fans of SOME AUTHOR". I generally stop reading a blurb when I encounter that one.

Barry
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Old 11-21-2016, 11:59 PM   #12
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I don't have special offers but I read a lot of blurbs about books and I think the phrase I'm most bothered by is "perfect for fans of SOME AUTHOR". I generally stop reading a blurb when I encounter that one.

Barry
Any new author that puts FAMOUS NAME in their blurb gets an immediate no thanks from me.
This book for example would not be bought.
https://www.amazon.com/Mash-Up-Joe-K...dp/B00I2E19Q0/

Reason 1 the cover is a take off on the original Mash.
Reason 2 the author's name is a take off on a name.
Reason 3 it is a detective novel so nothing to do with the title or cover
Reason 4 he paid at least $800 for his editorial reviews

Reason 5. The entire thing smacks of trying to profit off someone else's success.

Yes it is self published.
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Old 11-22-2016, 05:16 AM   #13
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Were you around when Bruce Lee died? Every martial arts movie featured the next Bruce Lee.
Apache
I even remember seeing an actor named Bruce Li in a few movies.
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Old 11-22-2016, 06:39 AM   #14
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This is a really bad start to the description of a book.

Quote:
During the Alaskan gold rush, a woman pursues a destiny that will change the world in this alternate-history novel from a sci-fi legend.

In the tradition of Robert Heinlein (Starship Troopers, Stranger in a Strange Land), multiple Hugo and Nebula Award winner Joe Haldeman set a new standard for military science fiction and hard sci-fi with The Forever War and his phenomenal Worlds series. Now the Science Fiction Writers of America Grand Master dabbles brilliantly in alternate-history fiction with the world-altering adventures of a remarkable woman during the gold rush in late nineteenth-century Alaska.
If the author is so wonderful, why does he have to be compared to Heinlein?
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Old 11-22-2016, 06:41 AM   #15
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What I find rather stupid is having the review blurbs in an eBook I already have. I'm not going to read a book based on a bunch of annoying review blurbs.
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