Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 724

binaryhermit · 02-13-2020, 01:10 AM

(Groan)

drjd · 02-13-2020, 05:15 AM

Apparently, there are now law groups forming around the cannabis industry.

They are known as grass roots lawyers.

drjd · 02-16-2020, 05:20 AM

Escape from a moving transport truck?

I can't--I'm a freight.

doubleshuffle · 02-16-2020, 01:58 PM

Job interview.
Interviewer: "So where did you get your education?"
Applicant: "Yale."
Int.: "Impressive. And what was your name again, sir?"
App.: "Yames Yohnson."

drjd · 02-17-2020, 05:23 AM

Men were forced to go completely hairless, during the Ballshavik Revolution.

drjd · 02-18-2020, 02:12 PM

Bird Watchers Paradise – Your car's paint will never be the same.

drjd · 02-20-2020, 04:47 AM

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

drjd · 02-21-2020, 06:04 AM

At the pre-birth class for couples who'd already had at least one child the instructor raised the question of how to break the news to an older child.

"Some parents tell the older child, 'We love you so much that we decided to bring another child into our family.'

"But think about that for a second. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'?"

One of the women spoke up right away, "Does she cook?"

drjd · 02-24-2020, 05:43 AM

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother:

Dear Grandmother,

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday.

With love,
Mike

PoP · 02-24-2020, 06:41 AM

Another true story.

When I was a little child, at a birthday party for my grandmother, I asked her how old she was. I was impressed when she said "eighty". To please her, I then replied "Wow, you are still young grandma, I thought you were a hundred".

Adoby · 02-24-2020, 08:19 AM

Another true story.

My niece was often looked after by her grandparents, my retired parents living nearby. They gardened, had cats, fixed cars, traveled, went to auctions, had friends and relatives over, read a lot, cooked, dabbled with computers and generally enjoyed retired life.

My niece was once asked what she wanted to become when she was older, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

She answered: "Retired."

issybird · 02-25-2020, 08:12 PM

A minister, a priest and a rabbit walked into a bar. The rabbit said, “Damn you, autocorrect!”

drjd · 02-26-2020, 03:45 AM

If I had a dollar for every time a girl didn't find me attractive they'd eventually find me attractive.

drjd · 02-28-2020, 05:24 AM

Overeating at a buffet is an expansive proposition.

drjd · 02-29-2020, 04:50 AM

A diner at a country inn is shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in syrup." He summons a waiter to complain.

The waiter looks at the menu. Then he flings it down and yells to the owner in the kitchen, "Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"

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02-13-2020, 01:10 AM	#10846
binaryhermit Grand Sorcerer Posts: 5,696 Karma: 20469902 Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Lockport, IL Device: Kindle PW4, Kindle Paperwhite Signature Edition	(Groan)

02-13-2020, 05:15 AM	#10847
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Apparently, there are now law groups forming around the cannabis industry. They are known as grass roots lawyers.

02-16-2020, 05:20 AM	#10848
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Escape from a moving transport truck? I can't--I'm a freight.

02-16-2020, 01:58 PM	#10849
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,923 Karma: 185041098 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Job interview. Interviewer: "So where did you get your education?" Applicant: "Yale." Int.: "Impressive. And what was your name again, sir?" App.: "Yames Yohnson."

02-17-2020, 05:23 AM	#10850
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Men were forced to go completely hairless, during the Ballshavik Revolution.

02-18-2020, 02:12 PM	#10851
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Bird Watchers Paradise – Your car's paint will never be the same.

02-20-2020, 04:47 AM	#10852
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

02-21-2020, 06:04 AM	#10853
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	At the pre-birth class for couples who'd already had at least one child the instructor raised the question of how to break the news to an older child. "Some parents tell the older child, 'We love you so much that we decided to bring another child into our family.' "But think about that for a second. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'?" One of the women spoke up right away, "Does she cook?"

02-24-2020, 05:43 AM	#10854
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother: Dear Grandmother, I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday. With love, Mike

02-24-2020, 06:41 AM	#10855
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,002 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	Another true story. When I was a little child, at a birthday party for my grandmother, I asked her how old she was. I was impressed when she said "eighty". To please her, I then replied "Wow, you are still young grandma, I thought you were a hundred".

02-24-2020, 08:19 AM	#10856
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,736 Karma: 26785668 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Thinkpad E595, Ubuntu Mate, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus	Another true story. My niece was often looked after by her grandparents, my retired parents living nearby. They gardened, had cats, fixed cars, traveled, went to auctions, had friends and relatives over, read a lot, cooked, dabbled with computers and generally enjoyed retired life. My niece was once asked what she wanted to become when she was older, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. She answered: "Retired."

02-25-2020, 08:12 PM	#10857
issybird o saeclum infacetum Posts: 20,229 Karma: 222235366 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: New England Device: H2O, Aura One, PW5	A minister, a priest and a rabbit walked into a bar. The rabbit said, “Damn you, autocorrect!”

02-26-2020, 03:45 AM	#10858
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	If I had a dollar for every time a girl didn't find me attractive they'd eventually find me attractive.

02-28-2020, 05:24 AM	#10859
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Overeating at a buffet is an expansive proposition.

02-29-2020, 04:50 AM	#10860
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A diner at a country inn is shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in syrup." He summons a waiter to complain. The waiter looks at the menu. Then he flings it down and yells to the owner in the kitchen, "Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"