"E-reader devices", naming

[Phogg]

For slow readers, we could get an Apple iPoke

[vivaldirules]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

This story starts once upon a time. Actually, some of the events happen more often, but some, like the bit with the pony, only happened this once because he got used to it after the first time, and actually kind of disillusioned with the whole predictability of the thing. That's why I always say "You can't please every pony, especially those snooty mountain bastards". Ironically, one of the events in it does happen all the time, which is kind of the point, but, hey, who doesn't like a story that starts, “Once upon a time...”? Only dog-haters and people who like those chips made out of reconstituted potato, that's who. And so...

Once upon a time (not really once, except for some parts), at just before 5am, in a shy, cool, little corrie beneath Craig Cerrig Gleisiad that didn't get the attention of some of the bigger Brecon Beacon numbers just because an official from the local office of the Countryside Council once lost a son to its more vicious meterological elements which was the kid's own fault really because it was a bad winter and he didn't tell anyone where he was going but what are you going to do against the man who holds the purse-strings of publicity, and anyway it's all probably for the best when you consider the corrie's little idiosyncrasy which is what we're about to hear about, because...

Once upon a time (not really once - see above), at just before 5am, in a shy, cool little corrie beneath Craig Cerrig Gleisiad, a pony (wild Welsh Mountain variety, obviously) could be heard, if there was anything to hear it (Hush now), stamping his front-left hoof against the steel-hard moraine-stones and shaking his head and mane in a manner that suggested impending violence at the intruder (Hush, people! He doesn't know we're here, but if he does I wouldn't put it past the narky bastard to track us down). The place at which he stared, tucked into the lower slopes beneath the crags, was - in a manner that would be perfectly naturally if only the laws of nature we're used to were entirely different and perhaps had a bit more of the colour zorange about them - kind of turning inside out. This, I think you'll agree, could likely be quite disconcerting, and probably moreso when you're only up there to eat some of it. Stamp! Stamp! (that's the pony). At 5am precisely, which occurred just as a third stamp was on its way to exclamation, there was a mild sizzling noise that ascended into a pitchy squeal, and then the air completed its self-evisceration with a grim "glrrrOPP!" and, before the pony could add another punctuation mark (hoof still raised, now thinking "Bloody hell! What's that?!), there appeared, stamping its own mark, a tiny village. Well, when I say "village", it was more of a collection of stone buildings that looked like it was aspiring for village status if someone could just rustle up a town clock and maybe more than one intersection. Regardless, at 5am, in a shy, cool little corrie beneath Craig Cerrig Gleisiad, there appeared the village of (as indicated by the ice-worn sign, with faded, cracked lettering struggling to name and populate it)...

"Farking".

The black to the west gained the barest dark blue hint of the impending quantacular display of atoms being torn apart a mere 146 million or so kilometres away. Windows in some of the buildings became outlined with the glow from bedside lamps (one presumes) being switched on. The roaring silence of the corrie - uneasy of anything more than gravity settling the occasional rock into a more comfortable position for a few more decades - was wisped away with the melodic, mono-sussuration of clock-radios being alarmed by the testicular tones of "Never gonna give you up...".

Farking awoke. The pony ("Oh, right, is that all?") went back to eating the landscape, now no longer so Farking surprised.

...

God, how I'd love to read the next installment of this. Please, Marc?

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

God, how I'd love to read the next installment of this. Please, Marc?

me too. please please ??

[badgoodDeb]

I kinda thought it was a Shaggy Dog story. Large buildup, long story, and a punch line. All complete in the quote above.

I mean, YEAH, I'd love to have Marc write us a storyline. But the above seemed complete as it stands.

[vivaldirules]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I kinda thought it was a Shaggy Dog story. Large buildup, long story, and a punch line. All complete in the quote above.

I mean, YEAH, I'd love to have Marc write us a storyline. But the above seemed complete as it stands.

Pleeeeeeeeease, Marc? Or am I gonna have to ask grandma to set up a poll to ask who would like to see some more Farking out of you? (But I think I'll have to be careful how I phrase that question.)

[nekokami]

Yes, please use caution. This is the guy who tries to get us to subscribe to his shower webcam, after all.

[badgoodDeb]

and then tells you his web link is down, when you TRY to subscribe!!

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

God, how I'd love to read the next installment of this. Please, Marc?

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

me too. please please ??

Well, thanks guys. As you know, I'm kinda shy (not to mention a chronic procrastinator), but I appreciate the prompting.

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I kinda thought it was a Shaggy Dog story. Large buildup, long story, and a punch line. All complete in the quote above.

I mean, YEAH, I'd love to have Marc write us a storyline. But the above seemed complete as it stands.

To be honest, it was only meant as a kind of prologue to a bigger story that includes an antipodean distorted mirror called Lower Farking, and another town whose name I haven't sorted yet (but is, effectively, Noosa). Also, "Farking" as a town name...that's a Zelda inspiration.

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Pleeeeeeeeease, Marc? Or am I gonna have to ask grandma to set up a poll to ask who would like to see some more Farking out of you? (But I think I'll have to be careful how I phrase that question.)

Not a DGMa poll! Anything but that!

Originally Posted by nekokami

Yes, please use caution. This is the guy who tries to get us to subscribe to his shower webcam, after all.

Incidentally, your credit card was rejected, nekokami.

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

and then tells you his web link is down, when you TRY to subscribe!!

Sorry, I overloaded it by watching it myself (sort of "masturbation foreplay"). Can I say that on this channel?

Cheers,
Marc

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Can I say that on this channel?

Cheers,
Marc

Probably not.

Oh wait - - you just did, didn't you?!

I'll add my pleas for another chapter then, instead of the webcam link.

[nekokami]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Incidentally, your credit card was rejected, nekokami.

That's a relief. I don't have a credit card, so that would have been an attempt at identity theft.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by nekokami

That's a relief. I don't have a credit card, so that would have been an attempt at identity theft.

~sigh~ So many other usernames I could slander at this point, but so little confidence that they would not be offended (not to mention the ones I most want to use because I am sure would be offended ).

Cheers,
Marc

[nekokami]

Well, it's true, I am pretty tough to offend. (Calling me a liar would do it, and I don't recommend that you try it.) So if you want to imply that I may have had a team of ninja mutant pirate etc. squirrels apply for credit cards in my name in an attempt to subscribe to your webcam in a totally deniable manner, feel free to do so.

[vivaldirules]

I've been having thoughts of Vera lately and may write another episode or two of Planet Head in Paris on his way to see her again. I've also imagined another story line with Vera as the girl in Vermeer's Milkmaid painting (see avatar). Okay, not a particularly Dutch name, but whatever. And I've had a few other thoughts of her. I just wish I could write worth a darn so I could spew it all out. But whatever - there are no grades here. This is just a warning that you may have my prose inflicted on you again soon. So set your "ignore lists" to stun.

[badgoodDeb]

I was wondering about the Vermeer painting! I like it. I've studied paintings of that ilk while researching clothing for the American Revolutionary War time period. I think Vermeer may be earlier (i forget now) but implements available to Vermeer (like the jug) would have been available to a later time period too.
So I like this young lady!

[vivaldirules]

Thanks, Deb. And I'm glad you like it. Vermeer's one of my favorites and this painting is amazing. After it was restored a decade ago I gazed at it for hours at the Rijks museum in Amsterdam. I suppose it's little wonder why I've got her in my head now as Vera.