Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 735

Adoby · 06-15-2020, 01:30 PM

It is 2033. And there is a big surplus of 13 year old kids. What will they be called?

Quaranteens.

Adoby · 06-15-2020, 01:44 PM

"I got a case of Corona" used to mean that you had been to the supermarket to buy some beer.

Come to think about it, it still means the same thing. Only you don't actually need any beer.

Adoby · 06-15-2020, 01:50 PM

Before Covid-19 I used to live alone far from the city. And I only saw people when I went in to the city to shop essentials.

Now, things are getting desperate. I still live alone far from the city. And I still only see people when I go in to the city to shop essentials. But now I have no toilet paper!

drjd · 06-15-2020, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Am I the only person posting and reading this thread?

Well, some really take a joke seriously!

drjd · 06-15-2020, 02:21 PM

With so many people homebound worldwide with idle minds the chances of Covidalliances during lockdowns are as likely as Covidivorces.

drjd · 06-16-2020, 07:01 AM

Have you heard about the elephant with diarrhea?
It's all over town!

drjd · 06-17-2020, 06:48 AM

I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees.

The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.

“You’ve given me one too many” I said.

“That one is a freebie”

drjd · 06-18-2020, 06:17 AM

Don't ever lie to walls because they hallways know the truth.

drjd · 06-19-2020, 09:25 AM

How much room is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

cromag · 06-20-2020, 12:27 AM

Is coronavirus making you wear a face mask and glasses?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation!

drjd · 06-20-2020, 07:09 AM

I bought a second hand time machine next Sunday.

drjd · 06-21-2020, 09:55 AM

Common Famous Last Words:

1. Hey yall, watch this!
2. Hey you! Yeah, you. You got a problem?
3. Honey, wait, I can explain!
4. Does that smell like gas to you?
5. I'm telling you, that sign says we're going the wrong way!
6. Officer, this not a gun, it's just my comb.
7. Are you sure you gave the ambulance our new address?
8. Okay, roger that. I'm cutting the blue wire.
9. That dog doesn't look all that mean to me.
10. Don't worry, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
11. I don't need those depression pills anymore.
12. Hey you, that sign says "No Smoking" for a reason!

drjd · 06-22-2020, 09:02 AM

A man says to his neighbor, "I have an extraordinary dog. He brings me the newspaper every morning."

The neighbor responds by saying, "That’s nothing special. Lots of dogs do that."

The man says, "Sure, but I don’t have a subscription."

drjd · 06-23-2020, 05:40 AM

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.
A $40 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.
The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

drjd · 06-24-2020, 06:39 AM

What do you call fake potatoes?

Imitaters!!!!

06-15-2020, 01:30 PM	#11011
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,736 Karma: 26785668 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Thinkpad E595, Ubuntu Mate, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus	It is 2033. And there is a big surplus of 13 year old kids. What will they be called? Quaranteens. Last edited by Adoby; 06-15-2020 at 01:36 PM.

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06-15-2020, 01:44 PM	#11012
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,736 Karma: 26785668 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Thinkpad E595, Ubuntu Mate, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus	"I got a case of Corona" used to mean that you had been to the supermarket to buy some beer. Come to think about it, it still means the same thing. Only you don't actually need any beer.

06-15-2020, 01:50 PM	#11013
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,736 Karma: 26785668 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Thinkpad E595, Ubuntu Mate, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus	Before Covid-19 I used to live alone far from the city. And I only saw people when I went in to the city to shop essentials. Now, things are getting desperate. I still live alone far from the city. And I still only see people when I go in to the city to shop essentials. But now I have no toilet paper!

06-15-2020, 02:21 PM	#11015
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	With so many people homebound worldwide with idle minds the chances of Covidalliances during lockdowns are as likely as Covidivorces.

06-16-2020, 07:01 AM	#11016
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Have you heard about the elephant with diarrhea? It's all over town!

06-17-2020, 06:48 AM	#11017
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees. The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. “You’ve given me one too many” I said. “That one is a freebie”

06-18-2020, 06:17 AM	#11018
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Don't ever lie to walls because they hallways know the truth.

06-19-2020, 09:25 AM	#11019
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.

06-20-2020, 12:27 AM	#11020
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 24,303 Karma: 459220161 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	Is coronavirus making you wear a face mask and glasses? If so, you may be entitled to condensation!

06-20-2020, 07:09 AM	#11021
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I bought a second hand time machine next Sunday.

06-21-2020, 09:55 AM	#11022
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Common Famous Last Words: 1. Hey yall, watch this! 2. Hey you! Yeah, you. You got a problem? 3. Honey, wait, I can explain! 4. Does that smell like gas to you? 5. I'm telling you, that sign says we're going the wrong way! 6. Officer, this not a gun, it's just my comb. 7. Are you sure you gave the ambulance our new address? 8. Okay, roger that. I'm cutting the blue wire. 9. That dog doesn't look all that mean to me. 10. Don't worry, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. 11. I don't need those depression pills anymore. 12. Hey you, that sign says "No Smoking" for a reason!

06-22-2020, 09:02 AM	#11023
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A man says to his neighbor, "I have an extraordinary dog. He brings me the newspaper every morning." The neighbor responds by saying, "That’s nothing special. Lots of dogs do that." The man says, "Sure, but I don’t have a subscription."

06-23-2020, 05:40 AM	#11024
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

06-24-2020, 06:39 AM	#11025
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What do you call fake potatoes? Imitaters!!!!