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Old 12-15-2017, 06:34 PM   #46
JSWolf
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Cinisajoy: MEN!

As a woman I've always found it rather a messy affair.

But this is leading into a smutty line of discourse.
https://selfhacked.com/blog/unhealthy-ejaculate/
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Old 12-15-2017, 08:17 PM   #47
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No way am I clicking that link.
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Old 12-16-2017, 12:58 AM   #48
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Technically this conversion is potentially very family friendly, but perhaps not in the way people usually mean.
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Old 12-16-2017, 05:58 AM   #49
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Below is my solution to the dilemma of asked vs. said. You may use this dialogue for your own story, although it may need to be tweaked somewhat depending on what genre you'll be working with. For example, you may wish to replace the names of Sally and Billy with alien names such as Glurz and Slrodzzzt. You may wish to replace the word mouth for orifice and the word hand for appendage. I'll leave it up to you, since you're the writers.

"Gee, you look nice, Sally," Billy asked/said, as he gazed at the lovely apparition in front of him. Tonight was his big date and he was taking Sally to the Senior Hip Hop Dance at Derry Valley High School. They would have a swell time, he knew. There would be chips, popcorn, and soft drinks galore!

"Thank you, Billy," Sally asked/said, as she looked upon his clean countenance.

Her father, Mr. John Holcomb, removed the pipe from his mouth and put down his newspaper as he asked/said: "Remember, Billy that Sally needs to be home no later than 10:30." He looked sternly at the young couple in their late teens and added, as he asked/said: "That would be tonight."

"Yes, Daddy," Sally asked/said.

"Have fun, kids," Mr. Holcomb asked/said and picked up his newspaper. He tried not to show his nervousness. He would be sleeping restlessly on the couch tonight, awaiting his daughter's return.

"Goodbye, sir," Billy asked/said. "It's been a special treat meeting you, sir. I want you to know that your daughter will be in good hands."

At these words, Sally blushed, for she knew exactly where those hands had been. Billy worked part-time as a bag boy at Safeway and was quite good at organizing all the different types of food and different-sized containers, preparatory to putting them in their paper bags. Billy had a very good future, Sally realized.



Remember, this is a child-friendly site.
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Old 12-16-2017, 03:20 PM   #50
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JS Wolf: I read the first paragraph that link lead to, and there are several factual inaccuracies (basic human biology). The first one is the statement that sperm "float" around; they don't, they swim, much like tiny tadpoles. But the main one which is repeated is that, to paraphrase, "sperm is transported to the embryo". It's not transported, it swims, and it doesn't attempt to meet an embryo, but an ova. It would be pointless for the little blighters to head for an embryo, because that's already growing into a baby! After that, I gave up on the article, figuring that the rest would be full of biological inaccuracy too.

Dr Drib: I think many of the name tags could be dropped, it's obvious from the action who is speaking. Also, there are many things which only one of those three characters would say such as "Have fun, kids,". Neither of the young people in the passage are going to say that and then pick up a newspaper trying to hide their nervousness regarding Sally's safety. In that way many of the 'saids' could be eliminated.
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:56 AM   #51
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Well, if we are going to critique Dr. Drib's contribution, I was thinking along the lines of those that try combining he/she into s/he. And then I realised that the word I was looking for already occurred in natural speech - with those that have trouble with their diction. There is the common "He arxed me if I wanted to go", but sometimes this comes out as "He arsed me if I wanted to go". So, it seems to me that "arsed" is the natural speech combination of ask and said (combines the first syllable of asked with the pronunciation of "said"). One problem with this solution is that it introduces a slight ambiguity or homonym with those dialects in which "arsed" has other definitions.

... Um ... I'm not sure if I have stretched the family and child friendly requirement of this forum to breaking point. Moderators, feel free to delete this post if you think I have.
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:34 AM   #52
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Well, if we are going to critique Dr. Drib's contribution, I was thinking along the lines of those that try combining he/she into s/he. And then I realised that the word I was looking for already occurred in natural speech - with those that have trouble with their diction. There is the common "He arxed me if I wanted to go", but sometimes this comes out as "He arsed me if I wanted to go". So, it seems to me that "arsed" is the natural speech combination of ask and said (combines the first syllable of asked with the pronunciation of "said"). One problem with this solution is that it introduces a slight ambiguity or homonym with those dialects in which "arsed" has other definitions.

... Um ... I'm not sure if I have stretched the family and child friendly requirement of this forum to breaking point. Moderators, feel free to delete this post if you think I have.
You spell that axed. He axed me out.
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:09 PM   #53
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You spell that axed. He axed me out.
Here we pronounce it ast. He ast me out. It sounds like assed, but I would never spell it that way.
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:14 PM   #54
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Edited to add family friendly spoiler tags.

Spoiler:
"Oh God!" he mumbled, for he couldn't be arsed to ejaculate.

Last edited by doubleshuffle; 12-17-2017 at 01:18 PM.
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:56 PM   #55
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You spell that axed. He axed me out.
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Here we pronounce it ast. He ast me out. It sounds like assed, but I would never spell it that way.
In Australia there is a tendency to go heavy on the first syllable: 'arr' as in 'arc'. Thinking of it that way, maybe I should have suggested "arcsed" as the replacement for "asked/said". ... And to satisfy the American need to spell things incorrectly differently we might offer "acsed" and in New Zealand perhaps "ecsid".

Last edited by gmw; 12-17-2017 at 06:59 PM.
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Old 12-17-2017, 08:56 PM   #56
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In the UK there's a north-south and class divide in the pronunciation of "asked". In the south, and among those who use Recieved Pronunciation (BBC English) it is pronounced "arsked"; in the north it is prounounced "asked" with a short A as in "asp". The same goes for many words with "a" as the main vowel, such as path, bath, past etc

I don't see how this helps solve the "said" question.
Oh, if I want to be gender neutral, I tend to use "they" instead. This rarely happens in fiction where the gender of a character is known.
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:06 PM   #57
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In the UK there's a north-south and class divide in the pronunciation of "asked". In the south, and among those who use Recieved Pronunciation (BBC English) it is pronounced "arsked"; in the north it is prounounced "asked" with a short A as in "asp". The same goes for many words with "a" as the main vowel, such as path, bath, past etc

I don't see how this helps solve the "said" question.
Oh, if I want to be gender neutral, I tend to use "they" instead. This rarely happens in fiction where the gender of a character is known.
I figured as small as the UK was, you would all sound like Sean Connery.
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Old 12-18-2017, 02:08 AM   #58
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I figured as small as the UK was, you would all sound like Sean Connery.
They wish!

I am reminded of the movie The Hunt for Red October. A Russian accent never sounded so good!
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Old 12-18-2017, 06:02 AM   #59
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Isn't he Scottish? That doesn't count now they're devolved.
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