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Old 05-11-2015, 12:34 PM   #211
Dr. Drib
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Oh come on, you can't just change a period to a comma and call it a sentence! At least make that first one a semicolon like everyone else does!

Good suggestion.....otherwise he has two sentences.

And nobody wants to read two sentences!
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Old 05-11-2015, 12:41 PM   #212
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"I didn't even know llamas could do that", stormed Tarquin as he ran headlong towards the shower, immediate expectations of steaming, soapy resurrection taking precedence over everything, even his previously unchallengeable Deborah Johnston fixation.
Very good
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Old 05-11-2015, 01:57 PM   #213
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Oh come on, you can't just change a period to a comma and call it a sentence! At least make that first one a semicolon like everyone else does!
Isn't it part of artistic license? ;p
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Old 05-11-2015, 02:32 PM   #214
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If you realy want to here about it the first thing you'll probibly want to no is where I learned to rite, and why my spelling is so lousy, and what my editor was doing while he was surposed to edit my book and all that crap, but I dont feel like going into it and you dont deserve any better anyway since you bought my novel from amazon for 99c and it is friggin selfpublished and has a shiny spaceship and a women with big boobs on the cover.
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Old 05-11-2015, 02:35 PM   #215
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If you realy want to here about it the first thing you'll probibly want to no is where I learned to rite, and why my spelling is so lousy, and what my editor was doing while he was surposed to edit my book and all that crap, but I dont feel like going into it and you dont deserve any better anyway since you bought my novel from amazon for 99c and it is friggin selfpublished and has a shiny spaceship and a women with big boobs on the cover.

I always suspected that Holden Caulfield had another novel in him.
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Old 05-11-2015, 02:37 PM   #216
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If you realy want to here about it the first thing you'll probibly want to no is where I learned to rite, and why my spelling is so lousy, and what my editor was doing while he was surposed to edit my book and all that crap, but I dont feel like going into it and you dont deserve any better anyway since you bought my novel from amazon for 99c and it is friggin selfpublished and has a shiny spaceship and a women with big boobs on the cover.
The reviews are in:
"Stunning!" "Unbelievable!" "It's everything I expected!"
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Old 05-11-2015, 02:57 PM   #217
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"It's everything I expected!"
Why does this sound like a threat?
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Old 05-11-2015, 03:36 PM   #218
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"Form up, form up, there is plenty of room for all the souls in line, so don't worry because after all this is eternity," a voice seemed to boom out over the air at him though he couldn't see a loud speaker anywhere within his view.
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Old 05-11-2015, 03:44 PM   #219
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When she swept into the room, I immediately threw a pail of water at her and watched her dissolve -silly thing riding her broom in public!

As he "bravely" hung from a large nail driven into the giant's club, suspended nearly forty feet above the lava, jack seriously reconsidered his career choice.

As his gravitationally powered spaceship prototype continued to accelerate uncontrollably toward the nearest sun, the professor writer realized his only hope of surviving his current predicament revolved around refining his equations sentence to properly place a comma period.

Last edited by TechniSol; 05-11-2015 at 04:27 PM.
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Old 05-12-2015, 03:51 PM   #220
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"Form up, form up, there is plenty of room for all the souls in line, so don't worry because after all this is eternity," a voice seemed to boom out over the air at him though he couldn't see a loud speaker anywhere within his view.
Lovely. For a properly soul-crushing effect this should of course be the first sentence of a 1000-page novel at least.
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Old 05-12-2015, 06:12 PM   #221
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Lovely. For a properly soul-crushing effect this should of course be the first sentence of a 1000-page novel at least.
That would depend on where the protagonist goes from there though. Who knows where the story could lead.
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