02-10-2013, 11:15 AM | #6046 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
Posts: 27,600
Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
|
Fictionwise & B&N ....
|
02-10-2013, 07:03 PM | #6047 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
Karma: 100500000
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
|
Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.
|
02-11-2013, 01:14 PM | #6048 |
MaxPuppy Rules
Posts: 31,418
Karma: 31670648
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NW Oregon
Device: Kindle Fire 8.9 HDX Kindle 3, Kindle Fire, Kindle Fire HD, Acer A200
|
On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife, in Minneapolis, were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so snowplows can get through conveniently". So, the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park......." Then the power went off. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" Then, with all the love and understanding in his voice that men who are married to blondes always exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time?" |
02-11-2013, 05:23 PM | #6049 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
Karma: 100500000
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
|
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
|
02-12-2013, 07:02 AM | #6050 |
The Dank Side of the Moon
Posts: 35,872
Karma: 118716293
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire
|
|
02-12-2013, 07:26 AM | #6051 |
Opsimath
Posts: 12,344
Karma: 187123287
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
|
|
02-12-2013, 07:37 AM | #6052 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
Posts: 27,600
Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
|
|
02-12-2013, 08:29 AM | #6053 |
Close to the Edit!
Posts: 9,797
Karma: 267994408
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
|
^ Karma for that one
|
02-12-2013, 08:59 AM | #6054 |
temp. out of service
Posts: 2,791
Karma: 24285242
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Duisburg (DE)
Device: PB 623
|
Wookie time
|
02-12-2013, 09:07 AM | #6055 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
Posts: 27,600
Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
|
|
02-12-2013, 10:55 AM | #6056 |
Guru
Posts: 880
Karma: 7556602
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: UK
Device: Kindle PW, Win 10 thinkpad 8in
|
|
02-12-2013, 01:27 PM | #6057 |
Zealot
Posts: 144
Karma: 988144
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Canada
Device: kobo aura h20
|
|
02-12-2013, 02:29 PM | #6058 |
Guru
Posts: 932
Karma: 15752887
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Norway
Device: Ipad, kindle paperwhite
|
|
02-12-2013, 03:54 PM | #6059 |
Wizard
Posts: 1,705
Karma: 12696746
Join Date: May 2010
Device: K3, Kobo Mini
|
A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him
'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked. 'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says. 'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?' 'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.' And the golfer walks off. 'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want. A `great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.' A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he surprisingly hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him. 'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here, 'the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?' 'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.' 'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?' 'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out 100 euro notes I didn't even know were there!' 'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?' The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.' C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?' Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.' 'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?' 'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’ |
02-12-2013, 09:32 PM | #6060 |
Reborn Paper User
Posts: 8,616
Karma: 15446734
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Que Nada
Device: iPhone8, iPad Air
|
"Mars Needs Moms" By Disney.
Drats! I've just dated my maturity level! Last edited by yvanleterrible; 02-12-2013 at 09:35 PM. |
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Add from the Mobile Read Library? | danwdoo | Calibre | 8 | 12-03-2014 06:03 PM |
Good Day Eh!! :-) | Gedvondur | Introduce Yourself | 12 | 07-22-2010 12:16 AM |
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background? | rlsamson | Barnes & Noble NOOK | 3 | 06-30-2010 04:56 PM |
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released | Alexander Turcic | Reading and Management | 2 | 02-20-2006 03:47 AM |