12-13-2012, 05:56 PM | #5776 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Location: Tampa, FL USA
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12-14-2012, 05:41 AM | #5777 |
Guru
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12-14-2012, 06:53 PM | #5778 |
Is that a sandwich?
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A beautiful female college student comes to a young professor’s office.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly, “I would do anything to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, “… I would do…anything!” He returns her gaze. “Anything???” “Yes… Anything!!!” His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you….. study?” |
12-15-2012, 11:57 AM | #5779 |
MaxPuppy Rules
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Deaf Italian Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him Out of $10,000,000.00. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first Place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to Testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 Million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is! The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money? Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer Tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking About". The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and Says, "Ask him again and tell him if he doesn't answer I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown Briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house. The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger." Don't you just love lawyers? Last edited by 74Cuda; 12-15-2012 at 12:02 PM. |
12-15-2012, 02:32 PM | #5780 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
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Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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Jennifer watched as the cashier rang up her purchases.
“Cash, check or charge?” She asked after folding the items Jennifer had bought. As she fumbled for her wallet The cashier noticed a television remote control in her purse. “Do you always carry your TV remote?” The cashier asked. “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the best retaliation.” |
12-15-2012, 02:50 PM | #5781 |
Banned
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This photo has been around for a while, but I always drag it out this time of year because it always makes me chuckle
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12-16-2012, 02:31 PM | #5782 |
Is that a sandwich?
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Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game.
The young couple found their seats in the crowded stadium and was watching the action when a substitute was sent into the game. As the promising young player ran onto the field to take his position, the boy pointed at him and said to his girlfriend, “Keep an eye on that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year.” His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, “That’s the strangest proposal I ever heard, but I accept!” |
12-17-2012, 01:59 PM | #5783 | |
Grand Sorcerer
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Quote:
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12-17-2012, 03:45 PM | #5784 |
Is that a sandwich?
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Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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One evening a man drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although it was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous rather easily.
The next night, the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly, he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to get caught, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sign of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. “Honey,” she asked, “have you seen my other shoe?” |
12-17-2012, 05:45 PM | #5785 |
Bah, humbug!
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12-18-2012, 12:48 AM | #5786 |
Author
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Someone in a much-decorated street near us has done just that this year! It certainly stands out among the crowd.
Last edited by Shayne Parkinson; 12-18-2012 at 12:54 AM. |
12-18-2012, 04:54 AM | #5787 |
The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠
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Location: Norfolk, England
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12-18-2012, 07:39 AM | #5788 |
Nameless Being
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Get a good night's rest.
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12-18-2012, 10:49 AM | #5789 |
Reading and reading
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Hellen Keller walks into a bar.
Spoiler:
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12-18-2012, 03:18 PM | #5790 |
binomial: homo legentem
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Location: Alabama, USA
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