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Old 06-03-2019, 05:56 AM   #10486
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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When the homeless burrowing rodent found a nice golf course, he decided to gopher it.
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Old 06-04-2019, 07:21 AM   #10487
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Two men met each other on the beach at Majorca. One looked at the other and asked, "Are you brown from the sun?"

"No," replied the other, "I'm Smith from The Times."
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Old 06-05-2019, 05:45 AM   #10488
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I don't like my hands. I like to keep them at arm's length.
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Old 06-05-2019, 06:53 AM   #10489
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.yvanleterrible ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drjd View Post
I don't like my hands. I like to keep them at arm's length.
If it were possible I’d give you Karma at every one of your posts...
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Old 06-05-2019, 08:36 AM   #10490
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yvanleterrible View Post
If it were possible I’d give you Karma at every one of your posts...
I've thanked you and thanked you and thanked you and thanked you over a hundred times, it seems — man, I'm sick of repeating myself!

You have been always there for my stupid jokes even when I’m being a pain in the rear!

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Old 06-06-2019, 07:04 AM   #10491
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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Old 06-07-2019, 05:23 AM   #10492
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Me: I taught my dog to play chess.

Friend: He must be very smart?

Me: Not really, I beat him two games out of three!
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Old 06-08-2019, 06:24 AM   #10493
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?"

The other one says, "Well, I’m a big metal fan."
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Old 06-09-2019, 06:23 AM   #10494
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them.

When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass those f**king potatoes!"
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Old 06-10-2019, 07:20 AM   #10495
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Reincarnation is a life-changing experience.
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Old 06-11-2019, 05:40 AM   #10496
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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A tour bus load full of noisy tourists arrives at Runnymede, England.They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta."

A man pushing his way to the front of the crowd asks, "When did that happen?"

"1215," answers the guide.

The man looks at his watch and says, "Shoot! Just missed it by half an hour!"
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Old 06-12-2019, 10:15 AM   #10497
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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So my twin brother called me from prison.

He said, "So you know how we finish each others' sentences?"
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Old 06-12-2019, 05:00 PM   #10498
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Apparel baron quit business to be spiritual as he no longer believed in material wealth!
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Old 06-14-2019, 05:59 AM   #10499
drjd
The Couch Potato
drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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My friend Jay had twin girls recently and he wanted to name them after him...

So I suggested Kaye and Elle.
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Old 06-14-2019, 02:33 PM   #10500
wodin
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wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wodin ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Took me a couple of (re)reads to get that one.
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