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Old 03-05-2009, 09:21 PM   #16
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It was the most cliche thing i could think of at that moment. I missed the edit and should have italicized that...it was supposed to be him reading his work back to himself. I've got four more chapters redone and ready to stick up...I'm looking to be on track for the repost of a preview edition by Sunday. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get a lot more work done.

Right now, I'm running into a snag with Chapter 9 - 10 and their placement in the plot.
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:34 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by jaxx6166 View Post
It was the most cliche thing i could think of at that moment. I missed the edit and should have italicized that...it was supposed to be him reading his work back to himself. I've got four more chapters redone and ready to stick up...I'm looking to be on track for the repost of a preview edition by Sunday. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get a lot more work done.

Right now, I'm running into a snag with Chapter 9 - 10 and their placement in the plot.
What are your plans, Jaxx, for when you finish the novel? Are you going to go the traditional route, agent > publisher, or self-publish?
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:56 PM   #18
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I'm trying to not think about that right now. I just want to make draft 2 as good as I can. Ideally, I'd love to get published - but I think I have a better chance of winning the lottery

If I were to self publish, I'd probably use lulu - as their service offers the most bang for the buck. But, as I mentioned in another thread - I'm a little turned off by the exposure LuLu has gotten and some of the strange things that pop up on their best seller list from time to time. Should it end up there, I had considered creating a "Collector's Edition" hardcover on the site with a copy of the original draft/edit and a couple of other extras (renders of scenes, etc.) and sell the ebook there too...but I don't like that lulu only sells PDF.

If I could find a small press to distribute it as an e-book i'd be happy with that too, my old journalism professor is on Windstorm Creative.. ..
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Old 03-05-2009, 10:28 PM   #19
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Chapter 7 R/R

Here's the fluff chapter I wasn't sure about.
Quote:
SAM
7

Golden rays filtered in through the slats in the blinds. Sam blinked and groaned, struggling to wake up. With a quick grunt, he stood up and ran his hand through the blackened locks, tousling them. He stole a quick glance at the clock and mumbled displeasure. Noon. Sam opened the blinds and ran towards the showers.

The white yellow light of the sun forced his roommate to stir and he groggily opened his eyes, “morning Sam.” His voice cracked.

“Didn’t expect you awake so soon.” Sam said, opening the refrigerator door and pulling out the water pitcher.

“Don’t you have class?”

He shrugged, pouring a glass, “Yeah I had a ten thirty. But I have to go get a present for my mom. It’s her birthday today. I think I’m gonna surprise her with a visit.” Replacing the pitcher, he shut the door.

“Isn’t that a present enough? We’re poor college kids. Gas is expensive.”

“Henry…” Sam laughed, “You really should get a job.”

“Campus jobs pay jack. Can’t go off campus without a car either. We can’t all be multimillionaire royal blood.” Henry stood up and arched his back, stretching.

“You talk like I’m Prince Charles or something. My dad’s just mayor, that’s nothing major.”

“Lyton’s a huge city isn’t it?” He walked into the closet and removed the shower basket from the floor.

“No bigger than Manhattan.”

Henry slipped on his sandals. “But going to school in the city is different than living there – or ruling supreme there. Don’t you agree?”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know. I guess this is like a culture shock or something to you, huh? I mean it’s gotta be pretty rough coming from a two-cow town in South Jersey.” He smacked his friend playfully in the shoulder.

“Burned. You win this one. I’m goin’ t’shower.”

“Hey Henry!” Sam called after him. “I’ve got to go to the Village afterwards, you wanna come?”

“I’ve had enough city for the week, thanks.” He turned to walk out, tossing his towel over one shoulder. “You know I hate the city. Too much crime.”

Sam laughed. The door shut.

Shrugging off his pajamas, Sam searched through drawers until he found the perfect outfit. Sam pulled on his favorite pair of khaki Dockers and went into the closet to grab his favorite silk shirt. Classy. He thought. Buckling up his black leather dress shoes, he reached for his keys and ran out the door.

Village Towne, while beautiful, is most definitely, rather expensive. That’s one lesson Sam wished he learned in school before deciding to look for the ‘perfect gift’ among the Bohemians and uninspired artists. It seemed like there was no chance of even getting ten feet without some spacer trying to hawk his wares.

Uninspired. Ugly. Disturbing. Those are the best words to describe some of the things thrown his way. Mother most certainly would not have approved of their ‘art’.

He decided there’d be better luck at the shops hidden off the main strip. That was another terrible mistake. He walked into a shop on the corner of MacDougal Street, and was greeted by the gentle chime of bells. The smells of burning incense and candles assaulted his senses as the door jingled shut, an old lady hobbled over to greet him, shaking his hand.

“Welcome to Cozy Corner. I’m Rose.” Her voice was feeble.

“Thanks.” Sam smiled; she seemed a warm and friendly person.

“What can I help you with?”

“Well, um…it’s my mom’s birthday tonight. I wanted to get her something really nice.”

“How sweet.” She smiled, “Come with me.”

She took him by the hand and began walking me around the store, pointing at various curios. They passed through a section dedicated to candles and incense; another was filled with exquisite hand-blown glass vases. Sam stopped to admire a small curio case lined with perfectly crafted pewter figurines. There was a small wooden cat guarding this aisle. Finally, in the far corner of the store, he found it. The perfect gift. A handcrafted porcelain rabbit sat quietly reflecting the flames of two nearby candles.

“That,” Sam pointed at the rabbit. “How much for that? It’s beautiful.”

She sighed, “That rabbit was hand-crafted by my daughter. Everyone stops and makes a remark about how perfect it is. Thing is, it was the last doll my daughter ever made before she died. I’ve never been able to part with it.” She paused a moment, “But business hasn’t been that good lately. No one wants to buy handmade crafts soaked through and through with the soul of the crafter. I suppose.” She softened and wiped a tear away, “If I have to let it go – I need the money to keep the store…even though it is more her place than mine…” Her voice trailed off.

“I’m sorry. How did she die?” He moved closer to the old lady who stood humbled before me.

“A bad accident on the Tri-City Bridge. Her car caught fire. She was trapped inside.” The old woman shuddered, “It’s getting late. You should probably get going…”

Sam blinked; she had changed moods so suddenly. “The rabbit?” He asked with a cracking voice. Would it be right to take her only treasure?

“Three hundred.”

“Oh.” He said, reaching into his wallet. “I’m sorry,” He fished around the billfold, I had three dollars. “I’m sorry to waste your time, but I don’t have that much.”

She scowled.

“I’m sorry about your daughter.” He walked out the door and back onto the bustling streets of the Village. Sam looked down at his watch and blinked in amazement. Time moves quick.

He boarded the next bus to King’s College.

* * *

Ten minutes was all it took to be back on campus. The skies were already darkening as the sun set in the background. Its fiery glow was toned to a more ethereal palette of pinks and purples, the golden leaves crinkled under his feet as he made his way to the school bookstore.

The bookstore was located at the student center, the hub of all student activities. There was an ATM and a cafeteria; a stage was on the second floor where students would perform sporadically. The top floor housed the computer lab where you could spend hours typing out that last minute report. It was painted in our school’s blue and gold color scheme. An image of a Knight Templar, our mascot, was brilliantly painted onto the tiled floor in the center of the building.

Sam made his way up the concrete walkway, shivering in the chill October air. The night sky was slowly winking awake as the crescent moon popped out of its silvered cloak of clouds. The breeze blew gently, rustling the dying leaves. He pushed aside the heavy glass door and entered the pod protecting the ATM from the elements. He slid his card into the blinking slot and was welcomed with the familiar arcade sounds.

“A little bit extra can’t hurt.” He said, pushing the arrow to the hundred dollar max. The temperature dipped ten degrees as he left the small bubble and walked around to the main entrance.

The hallway was dimly lit. He walked past the cafeteria where everyone was beginning to set down to dinner. Loud voices bounced off the walls and laughter echoed through shadowy corridors. Sam nodded at a few of his friends, shaking his head as they pushed him towards their table. He still needed a present.

The stairs seemed to circle downward as he hurried towards the basement bookstore.

The bookstore was the brightest place on all of campus. Florescent lights shined down on each aisle, lined with the newest styles of tee shirts, stuffed animals, greeting cards, and any other supply you could possibly need for your home away from home. Books were thrown into a corner, arranged neatly in subject order. He stood for a moment before walking up to the clerk.

“Hey.” She greeted him with a smile.

“Um. Hi Laura.” Sam said, shuffling his feet.

“What brings you here? Shouldn’t you be upstairs?”

“Um. It’s my mom’s birthday. Tonight. I need to…uh…get her a present.”

“Aw!” She grinned, her eyes twinkling. “That’s so cute!”

Sam laughed sheepishly

“How’s the book?”

“Pardon?” He looked up at her, blushing. He couldn’t help it.

“Your book? Prof said you were working on something. It’s so cool that you have talent like that. I wish I had the patience to do that.”

She knows I exist. Sam was shocked. She was holding a conversation with him!

Blinking, he looked into her eyes. She was beautiful.

“You know, I could use some help on that paper. Hey, maybe when you become a best seller I can tell my friends that you helped me ace Freshmen English. I hate British Literature, it’s so-o boring.”

Flutter. Choke. Don’t be stupid. Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was she asking him out?

“It’s not so bad.” He said, face growing hotter. “What…what should I get?”

She blinked and sat silent for a moment, gauging his words. “Oh. Right!” She said with a giggle, tossing her long brown hair backwards, behind her shoulder. Her blue eyes twinkled. “This way.”

She led him to the gifts section of the bookstore and began hurriedly pointing out every stuffed animal, “This would be so-o cute! Oh my God. I love the white one. It’d be so cute if someone bought me one.” She smiled, hinting.

“What about…” Sam choked on the words, “…your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have one. I guess I could buy one for myself, but that’s not the point of a gift, you know.”

Awkward laughter.

“Look at him!” She gasped and picked up an off-white bear, its brown eyes beady and wide with wonder. It had a pennant in its hand that read “Knights” and the accompanying blue and gold sweater with our school’s crest.

“How much?”

“Twenty.” She winked at me as she walked back towards the counter.

He handed her the cash, as she took it. Her fingers played gently against his hand.

She smiled sweetly, “See you in class, Sam.”

“Yeah…” His hands were shaking. “Take care.”

“You too.”

He walked out of the bookstore clutching a blue and gold box. He could still smell her perfume.

The path to his car was cold and lonely.
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:48 PM   #20
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I remember I promised to have a new preview edition of TPR up by Sunday - I will be keeping that promise.

Unfortunately, it's not the 150 pages of the previous preveiw edition - I only have about 50 of that done right now. But I think it ends in a good enough spot for me to post up for feedback without people saying wtf. That will be up later tonight, I get home from work around 730 EST (PM) and hopefully will have it converted for yall by 8EST, or 9EST at the most.
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